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The Naked Director

13 Assassins


            A young girl named Haru awakens to another day, where it seems she's a few steps behind everything. Rushing to school, she comes in late for class, to mocking laughter from her classmates, and even from one guy in her class whom she has a crush on.After school, walking home with her friend Hiromi, Haru curses her misfortune. As they walk down a busy street, they see a dark cat carrying a small box in his mouth. In the middle of the street, the cat drops it, and attempts to pick it up, unaware that a large truck is heading towards it! Haru grabs her friend's lacrosse stick, and running into the street, saves the cat, before collapsing into some bushes and breaking the lacrosse stick. Unseen by anyone but Haru, the cat then stands on it's hind legs, and thanks her for saving him. It then gets back on all fours, and rushes off. When Haru relates the incident to Hiromi, her friend can scarcely believe it either.Later that evenin, Haru tells her Mother about the incident. Her Mother explains that it sounds like something that happened when Haru was little. Supposedly, a dirty white kitten was following her as she ate fish crackers. Haru then took pity on the kitten, and gave her the whole box. Haru's Mother claims that Haru told her that the kitten talked to her, but Haru doesn't recall anything like that happening.Later that night, Haru hears something outside, and sees a procession of cats walking down the street. Then eventually stop outside Haru's house, and she comes outside. Among the procession are the Cat King, his Prime Minister Natori, and a servant cat named Natoru. Natori explains that the Cat King thanks Haru for saving his son, and she is presented with a scroll, that gives information about numerous gifts she will receive for her good deed.The next day, Haru wakes up, wondering if it was a dream. Her ponderings are soon put to rest when a number of things happen. Her friend Hiromi has awoken to find numerous lacrosse sticks outside her door. At Haru's place, cat tail plants surround their house, and as she heads to school, a number of cats chase after her (Haru surmises that she must have some catnip on her). At school, she is freaked out when she finds a number of individually-boxed mice in her shoe locker.Getting over the shock, she goes about the day, taking Hiromi's clean-up duty upon her request. While taking out the garbage, she sees the guy she has a crush on, walking by with his girlfriend. This distracts Haru and she trips and falls, feeling more miserable than the day before. Suddenly, she sees the King's assistant, Natoru, who becomes shocked when Haru yells at him regarding the 'gifts' she has received. Noting that she seems upset, Natoru offers to take her to the Cat Kingdom for a personal tour, and even tells her of the additional gift she will receive for her good deed: the chance to marry the Cat King's son, Prince Lune. This shocks Haru, who then starts to wonder if being among cats wouldn't be so bad, since they seem to have very few responsibilities. Natoru takes this as a 'yes' answer, and rushes off, leaving Haru distraught at the idea of her (a human girl) marrying a cat! As she panics, a disembodied voice tells her to find a white cat at the crossroads, who will lead her to the Cat Bureau.Haru goes to the specific location, where she finds a large white cat. The cat doesn't say a word, but she follows him through all sorts of little nooks and crannies, until he reaches a small embankment of shops that almost seem doll-like in size. Here, the large white cat gets up on his hind legs, and heads to a small storefront. As he does so, the setting sun catches on the windows surrounding them. The front door of the building opens, and a cat in a suit emerges, giving his name as Baron Humbert von Gikkingen, but Haru decides to just call him 'Baron.' Baron cites the large white cat as Muta, and as they talk, a stone statue comes to life, which Baron says is named Toto.Baron invites his guests into his home, where Haru explains about her predicament, and how a strange voice told her to seek out the Cat Bureau. The Baron decides that he and Muta will make a visit to the Cat Kingdom in regards to Haru's request for their help. However, the Baron requests that Haru never forget who she is, as this will be very important. As they speak, there is a knock at the front door. Haru answers it, only to find Natoru there, and a number of cats who carry Haru off, intending to take her to the Cat Kingdom. Muta manages to catch up with them, but Baron and Toto lose their trail.Haru wakes up in the Cat Kingdom, where she finds she has shrunk to the size of a cat. Looking around, she is met by a white cat named Yuki, who pleads with Haru to leave the Cat Kingdom at once. However, Natoru appears, and takes both Haru and Muta to the King's palace.Haru is taken to be dressed to meet the King, while Muta is escorted to a banquest hall, where he gorges on a number of foods. As Haru changes, she is then met by the King, who is overjoyed that she has chosen to marry his son. However, Haru explains her trepidations, since she is a human, and the Prince is a cat. The King and Natori smile, telling her that that is no longer a problem, since Haru is now half-cat. Haru looks in a nearby mirror, and is shocked to see that she has somehow turned into a cat! Running from the room, she finds Muta, stuck in a bowl of catnip jelly, unable to move.Even though Haru is still upset over being turned into a cat, she is taken to the main dining room, where the King attempts to cheer her up with a number of entertainment acts. When none seem to please Haru, he has the performers tossed out a nearby window. Suddenly, a masked strange comes forward, promising to cheer up Haru. As the band strikes up a waltz, Haru dances with the mysterious stranger, feeling more at ease being a cat. This feeling causes her to grow whiskers, which makes her gasp. The masked stranger then tells her not to forget who she really is, as he said so before. Suddenly, the Cat King calls for the music to stop, demanding to know who the stranger is. He removes his mask to reveal the Baron! The Cat King sends his troops to take down the Baron and retrieve Haru, but this quickly fails. In the ensuing scuffle, Muta is freed from the bowl of catnip jelly, and joins the battle.Off to one side, Yuki appears and hastens Baron and Haru to her. She explains that there is a way for Haru to regain her human form, and helps her and the Baron escape through a secret entrance, which leads to a maze outside the castle, of which a large tower extends from it's center. Yuki explains that if they can get to the top before a specific time, they will be able to return to their world.Muta then joins them, and they set out going through the maze. However, the King sends a number of troops, and tries to throw them off course. His plans fail, and Haru, Baron and Muta make it to the tower, climbing up it's outer stairway. Just when it seems they've made it halfway-up, the King detonates the tower, causing the mid-point to plummet to the bottom!Haru, Baron and Muta are then met by the King, though the reunion is short-lived when Prince Lune arrives, along with a contingency of soldiers. The King explains to the Prince about Haru, but the Prince explains that he wishes to marry Yuki. He then hands her the same box that Haru saw him with on the street. The box contains some fish crackers. Yuki then explains that they are just like the kind that Haru gave her when she was a kitten, and thanks her for helping her all those years ago.The King finds this very moving, but then tries to see if Haru will marry him instead. Haru angrily rejects his advances, and Muta happily proclaims that he admires her spirit.The King, not one to be spurned, still tries to claim Haru, but Muta and Lune's soldiers prevent him from advancing, and Haru heads up the nearby steps for the top of the tower. Baron also confronts the King, and wins in a duel against him, before hearing Haru cry out from the top of the tower...which leads to the other world, but whose opening is several hundred miles up in the sky! Muta and Baron rush to her aid, but not before she falls over the edge.They freefall towards Haru's hometown, when a flock of crows appears, courtesy of Toto. Haru makes it safely down, and they say their goodbyes, with Haru admitting that she has a bit of a crush on Baron, before he takes off.The next day, Haru's Mother awakes, and is shocked to see that Haru is up before her, having already prepared breakfast. Later on, Haru meets up with Hiromi, who happily tells her friend that the guy she has a crush on has broken up with his girlfriend. However, instead of being excited at this, Haru shows no concern, as this is now unimportant to her. It appears that her experience has allowed her to become more independent.
    

The Cat Returns

The Could've-Gone-All-the-Way Committee

Ushijima the Loan Shark 2


            An English teacher named Seiji Hasumi (Hideaki It) is loved by his students and respected by his peers. He graduates from Harvard College with an MBA, and works at Morgenstern, a European investment bank, for two years. Hasumi returns to Japan to pursue high school teaching. However, his outward charm masks his true nature. In reality, Hasumi is a sociopath who is unable to feel empathy for other human beings. Specifically, he has a severe antisocial personality disorder. Having killed both of his parents and his form tutor at the age of fourteen, Hasumi turns into a fiendishly clever killer. During his time in the States, Hasumi meets a partner in crime, an American named Dave, who thinks he shares the same "hobby" as Hasumi killing people for fun. The two can be seen carrying buckets full of human blood, bones, and organs somewhere, giving off the notion that they committed numerous murders while working together. Hasumi eventually kills his partner by knocking him out and burning him alive inside a barrel, stating that while Dave enjoys killing for fun, Hasumi does not.Back in Japan, Hasumi chooses to deal with problems like bullying and student sexual harassment, starting by dealing with the school cheating issue. Upon collecting all of the students' cell phones prior to their exams, Hasumi secretly uses a cell phone jammer to completely prevent any cheating during the test. The group of students that had cheated on previous exams became suspicious after none of the group's cell phones have service during the test and immediately suspect the adviser of the Radio Club, Tsurii - a loner Physics teacher. They are then confronted by Tsurii himself who clarifies that he was not responsible for the jamming. A man who regularly meets with the school to complain about students bullying his daughter, Rina, is murdered. Someone has replaced the bottles of water he kept around his house to scare off cats with kerosene, as the man is a chainsmoker the bottles soon catch fire and explode. Tsurii soon meets with the intelligent ringleader of the cheating group, Keisuke, revealing his suspicions of Hasumi. Tsurii explains he has dug into Hasumi's past and found strange details, such as at another school where Hasumi started his teaching career that later had four student suicides. During this time, however, Hasumi had bugged the room and learned of Tsurii's suspicion, and confronts him on a train, murdering him and making his death appear as a hanging suicide. Hasumi then confronts Keisuke after the announcement of Tsurii's suicide causes him to panic. Hasumi knocks Keisuke out and ties him up until the end of school, after which Hasumi tortures him into admitting that he and his friends were indeed cheating. Hasumi checks that Keisuke didn't tell others of Tsurii's suspicions, before killing him and hiding his body.During the same time period, Hasumi is brought to the attention of a blackmail case from one of his students. A store owner, Meka, caught a female student, Miya, shoplifting but swears not to charge her for it. However, PE teacher Shibahara blackmails Miya, as he has recorded her admission of shoplifting, into giving him sexual favors or risk being charged. Hasumi, assures Miya that a blackmail and statutory rape case is more serious than shoplifting and affirms to her that she is safe from the law and no longer needs to succumb to the blackmail. Miya later meets Hasumi on the school roof, she thanks him with a hug that advances into a kiss and the two become lovers. In the meantime, Hasumi finds out about art teacher Kume's sexual relationship with a male student; he blackmails Kume into lending him his luxury apartment. Hasumi later takes Miya to the apartment and the two have sex. Hasumi presses Miya into giving him access to an online private discussion board that his students use, anonymously making claims about the murder of Rina's father, accusing delinquent student Tadenuma, who had targeted Rina online previously. After a fight breaks out at the school, Hasumi invites Tadenuma out for a drink and murders him; the students later assume that Tadenuma ran away from home.Events have passed until Hasumi's homeroom students are staying overnight in the school, preparing an elaborate haunted house for the school cultural festival. Hasumi lures Miya to the rooftop, knocking her out and throwing her off the roof to fake her suicide; as she had grown suspicious of Tadenuma's disappearance. When another student comes to the roof looking for Miya, she finds the suicide note forged by Hasumi; he quickly kills her too. As Hasumi has no method of masking his murder of the second student, he quickly comes up with a plan. Hasumi to start a school massacre against his students for which he will frame Kume, who frequents a shooting range, by wearing his shoes throughout the killings. Throughout the massacre, Hasumi's shotgun can be seen possessed by ex-partner in crime Dave, talking to him. As the students hear the bangs of the shotgun, Hasumi tricks most of the students by using the intercom to warn them of "an intruder with a shotgun" and orders the students to proceed to the roof - which he had locked access to beforehand - and wait until help arrives. With some of the students proceeding to the stairs to the roof, another group hide inside the art room, closing it off with fire shutters and barricading the entry points. One of the students, skilled archer Kakeru, manages to escape the school far enough with his archery gear to find a man who is able to call the police. He later runs back to the school to rescue his crush Satomi, who is found trying to escape by roping out of a window of the art room and slips, breaking her ankles. Kakeru screams out her name, alerting Hasumi to their presence, who then proceeds to aim out of a window at the two students. The Kakeru readies an arrow and fires at Hasumi, but Hasumi fires as well, deflecting the arrow off-course, slaying Kakeru, and then Satomi. With the group of students still in the art room thinking they are safe, they are unaware that they did not untie the rope that Satomi had used to rappel down out of. Hasumi climbs the rope and proceeds to slay the group.The massacre nears its end with two students who survive by dressing up two of their dead peers in their clothing and hiding inside the school as they toss the corpses down an emergency escape chute, tricking Hasumi into thinking the bodies are the last two students on his checklist attempting to escape. After the massacre at the school, Hasumi attempts to cover up his actions by making it seem like he had been handcuffed and knocked out by Kume and making it look like he committed suicide afterwards with Hasumi's shotgun, but his plans are foiled due to one of the two surviving students pointing out to the police that the school's training defibrillator records audio and contains evidence of one of the murdered students speaking his murderer's name prior to being slain by Hasumi. However, Hasumi plans to use his recently learned knowledge of Norse mythology as his legal defence by suggesting his acts to be "the will of God." The surviving student who pointed out the defibrillator exclaims that Hasumi is crazy, but the other surviving student says Hasumi is "starting the next game." It is then revealed that Miya survived after Hasumi tossed her off of the school's roof and calls out Hasumi's name, ending the movie with "to be continued."
    

Takayuki Yamada

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