
            Stacy Mitchell to the outsider is a funny, carefree Yorkshire woman. But she is finding harder and harder to hide her misery at a life she feels wasted. She's left her dead beat husband, scans groceries in a dead end job and spends what little money she has in the same pubs in a dead end town. But when on a works night out at a local comedy club, Stacy takes offense at the headlining comic Wilton
Johnston,exiled from London for punching a promoter, and give him the full brunt of her inner anger and wit. And the audience love it. Wilton, stunned, invites her up to try it for herself. To the comics amazement, she gets more laughs than him. Wilton sees something in Stacy and persuades her to give comedy a go. He sets up a series of gigs culminating in the local play off of national competition where the prize is a London gig and a possible shot at the big time. But Stacy soon sees that being a stand-up is more than just making stuff up. And Wilton comes to wonder just who his worst enemy is. But along this road through the back streets of comedy they both discover things that will change them forever.
    

Heckle

Conquering Heroes


            Jackie Shields, crook and villain, almost seventy, is at the end of this working
career. In and out of prison for most of his adult years, he is a poor father to his
daughter Kitty, and violently short-tempered with his girlfriend Nora.
Kitty, mixed up and selfish, is a product of foster homes during her father's spells
in prison. Despite her university education, she has not broken free of her father's
villainous underground world. She has become amoral, scheming, and
duplicitous- the only way she knows how to survive. In flashback, we discover
that she has a secret child by her fathers rival Sebastian Eton, but passed it off as
Nora's baby.
Sebastian, well educated but still a crook, has been to prison for fraud and deception.
Younger, fitter and in with Kitty, he wants Jackie out of the way so he can
take over his patch. When a factory heist the two mobs commit together comes off
well, they get away and rendezvous to spilt the takings. Kitty tips Sebastian off that
Jackie, and his ex-boxer henchman Lenny, plans to deceive Eaton and his boys
Rupert, Max and Stinker, and cut them out of their share.
Kitty and Sebastian hatch a plan so they can keep the money for themselves, and
as the story plays out in a chase through Newcastle and the wilds of
Northumberland, Kittys duplicity multiples to the extent that everyone else pays a
price for her double-dealing.
    

Villains


            A woman called Minnie and her brother Ernest are orphaned at an early age when a car crash takes the lives of their parents and they go to live with their grandparents who own a farm in Somerset, in an area of great natural beauty. When they die, the farm passes to the sister, but an outbreak of foot-and-mouth and the resulting destruction of their herd by the authorities, plunges them into poverty. Both of them seem to be unstable, although the sister seems to possess marginally better self-control, while her brother is capable of cold-blooded murder. They decide to let out a single room to passing tourists, since the farm is quite close to Glastonbury Tor, a place said to have been sacred to both pagan Druids and the early Christian Church, which is also the site of a popular music festival. An older man and the younger woman, with whom he is clearly besotted, arrive at the farm and ask to stay the night, but meet with the disapproval of the both the sister, who is convinced that the man is married, and the anger of her unbalanced brother, who enters the kitchen and kills the man with an ax, and then chases after and kills the woman in the hay barn with a garden fork. They hide the couples car in a barn and then bury their bodies in the siblings' potato patch. The dead tourists' belongings are rifled, with their money being added to the cash that the sister keeps in a jar with all her cash. Another bugbear for the brother is a local married man, who is having an affair with his sister, but whom he suspects of just using her for sex, which is something that he has no experience of.The day after a brief visit from her lover, who promises to come and see her later that week, the brother and sister go for a drive and pick up a handsome young hippy who wants to visit Glastonbury. The sister feels attracted to him and the feeling is mutual, which arouses the brother's jealousy. Later on, back at the farm the sister and her newfound lover go to the orchard and she asks him to make love to her. However, the brother spots them and proceeds to choke the hippy to death with a thick rope, forcing her to bury his body in their usual spot.The following day, the sister sees two girls, Tina and Penny, who have set up their tent in on of the fields. She asks her brother who gave them permission and he states that he did so. He now suggests that he and the girls go on a walk to a spot where there is a beautiful view out over the entire county. The sister also wants to go with them but Ernest says he not does want her to, but Tina asks him to change his mind and she agrees to meet up with them at the windmill., where he and Tina, who is Italian, have a conversation where she reveals that she likes him and thinks him very manly, He asks whether he could visit her in Bristol and she says that they could go out and have a drink and also adds that he is welcome to stay the night, which he says he cannot do as his sister is very jealous.. They then wander off to some high ground nearby and are not there when Minnie arrives with Penny. Minnie sees Tina give Ernest something and asks her whether it was drugs and Ernest tells her that it was chewing gum. Minnie then states that he was given magic mushrooms by a hippy when he was twelve and has not been right in the head since then. Ernest eventually has enough of this and threatens to jump off the hill and has to been calmed down by the two girls, who are trained nurses. Later that evening Penny has a heart-to-heart conversation with Minnie where she expresses her sympathy with the situation she finds herself in with her unbalanced brother and the responsibility for running the farm.Later that night, Tina and Penny are together in their tent in the field, when they hear the sound of a tractor coming towards them that is being driven by Ernest. The two women manage to get out at the last moment, but are quite angry. Ernest does need seem to understand the reasons for their reacting in this way and tells Tina that he came out to see her and that he loves her. Penny tries to protect Tina and Ernest chases after her and kills her in some woodland, while Penny is finished off by Minnie who tells Ernest that she never really liked her victim.The next morning, an overzealous TV license inspector asks to be admitted but is refused and is threatened with a shotgun when he persists despite the fact that Ernest urges her to let him in. After the inspector leaves and states that he may have to return with a policeman so that he can gain access. Minnie explains that she was afraid that Ernest might kill him or he might discover the dead couple's car in the barn. She now tells Ernest that Mark, her lover, knows somebody who buys stolen cars and the next time she asks him to get rid of it for her, just after they have had an intensive sex session in his car. Some time later, he returns and gives her five hundred pounds, telling her that he sold the car for a thousand. Ernest refuses to believe her and claims that he sold it for five thousand and gave her only a miserly five hundred, implying that he merely used her.Some time later, an electricity company employee calls and says that he has a court order to cut off their electricity as they owe the company £700. The next day Minnie takes the Land Rover to Bristol to pay off this debt and arrange for re-connection. While she is away, a woman called Norma arrives and tells Ernest that she would like to stay for a couple of nights and only needs a cup of tea in the morning. When Minnie arrives, she goes to the women's room and learns that their guest comes from London but her business has had a setback and she will not be returning.Later that evening, Minnie hears a commotion and goes to the kitchen where she sees Ernest sitting injured at the table and a hysterical Norma hold a large kitchen knife and claiming that he tried to cut her head off. She then points the shotgun at Minnie but does not know that it is not loaded and tries to open the outer door but is unaware
that it is locked. Minnie then drops the key on the floor and Norma bends down to pick it but is overpowered by Minnie and Ernest, a plastic bag is then thrust over her head and she is shoved head first into the gas oven as Ernest turns the gas on, They then keep her there until she stops breathing. The following day, she is buried in the potato patch along with all their previous victims. Feeling relieved, Minnie goes out and posts a letter, after which she goes and knocks on the vicar's door, informing him that she has written a letter to his bishop telling him that the vicar sexually assaulted her when she was only twelve, adding that she has included the names of all his other victims. She then returns home with two bottles of cider and finds Mark holding Ernest in a firm head lock. She shows him Norma's car in the barn and he looks at it and tells him that it was left there. He tells them that it is a very expensive car and he just wants to know the truth. Ernest then tells Minnie to show him the seven crosses. They then take him to the potato patch where six crosses mark their victims' graves. Mark remarks that they had said seven crosses but there are only six, at which point, Ernest swings his spade and strikes Mark in the head and they bury him and mark his grave with the seventh cross. The film ends with them sitting in local pub with a clearly pregnant Minnie saying that together they are safe. They are also in possess of the fifty thousand pounds that Norma had brought with, which Minnie has deposited in her bank account, stating that they had sold some of their land to a builder.A horror tale where the killings retain the shock value without being graphic or explicit, with excellent performances by the two actors in the lead roles, whose motivations for their crimes seem to vary from sheer lack of control to the supermarkets impoverishing farmers by paying excessively low prices for their produce. Authentic local accents and actual Somerset locations add a good deal of interest to this rather unusual homicidal maniac tale, where our two killers seem quite intelligent and reasonably articulate. Sadly, only the deaths of Ash, Tina and Penny arouse much sympathy, since these characters were portrayed as likeable and empathic. Another plus was the refusal to add any background story about what it was in their personal histories that turned them into such sociopaths.
    

Seven Crosses

Crab Island


            A guy on a mountain bike stalks two sisters, murders them and eats their brains!
    

Sisters Grimm


            
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Suzanne Kendall

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