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Blue Mountain State


            With Blue Mountain State football star Thad Castle (Alan Ritchson) recently signing a multi-million dollar NFL contract, his teammates and college life seem like a distant memory. However, when a new school dean threatens to clean up the BMS image by auctioning off the infamous Goat House, Alex, Sammy and the boys must find a way to convince him to get involved. Despite his new fortune and fame, there is one small favor that Thad needs done before he saves the day: the biggest booze-and-sloot fest in BMS history. Welcome to Thadland!
    

Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland


            Patch Town was once a Canadian forest where a Russian immigrant lived in a tiny shack. One night he hears babies crying and discovers that there is a cabbage patch beside his shack where babies are "hatching". He brings many of them home with him because he feels guilty for the sudden death of his wife several years prior and wants to rescue the children from the rugged weather. As a talented toy inventor, he discovers a way to freeze each baby as a doll in order to keep them until he can expand his home for them. His son, Yuri, is less than pleased. He misses his mother and blatantly tells his father to not bring home anymore cabbage babies. The inventor doesn't listen and tries to convince Yuri that the cabbage babies are his new siblings. As Yuri gets older his father forces him to sell the dolls to North American children in the form of toys, and sneak into their homes to retrieve the dolls after the children outgrow them. Yuri becomes appalled at his father's behavior and humiliated because people think he is some kind of child kidnapper skulking around town. The inventor suddenly dies, telling Yuri, "they're your responsibility now". In a state of grief and trauma, Yuri snaps and becomes a ruthless businessman, building a factory to sell the dolls and later on exploiting them as slave factory workers.Many years later, John, a former doll who was restored back to his human self, is an overweight adult man working for Patch Enterprises, Yuri's megacorporation. John keeps having flashbacks of a little girl holding him, but he has no idea who she is. One day after his shift at Patch Enterprises is over, a co-worker of his who tried to steal a rotten cabbage, is brutally beaten up by Yuri's henchmen. John wants to help but feels powerless. John goes home to his gloomy apartment where he lives with his wife (Mary) and Daisy, a baby stolen illegally from Yuri's factory. Mary, a former doll as well, accepts that this is the life they will always lead despite it being unsafe. John tells her that he wants to find a home where he can raise a family without being afraid. One night, John goes into the back room of a brothel to talk to Miles, the man who illegally sold Daisy to him. Miles informs him of a way for him and his family to escape Patch Town forever. He also informs John that the little girl in his flashbacks is actually his "mother" (a child who had been given John, then a doll, as a present back in the 1980's). Her name is Bethany and she is now an adult single mother with a teen daughter named Avery.That night, from the window of their apartment, John and Mary are horrified to witness a married couple, former dolls who bought an illegally adopted baby, dragged away by Yuri and his henchmen for "reeducation" (a process similar to electroshock therapy in order to erase their memories and make them more compliant). Yuri hears Daisy crying and nearly catches John and Mary, but they run away before he can find them. They hitch a ride on a transfer truck with Sly, a former doll from India who is dressed like a Seventies hippie. Sly drives them out of Patch Town and towards the city of Toronto. On the way, he gives John candy, which has the same effect on him as LSD.Meanwhile, Miles and a prostitute are caught by Yuri, who demands that they tell him where John is. When they don't reply, Yuri sends them away for reeducation as well. Going through Miles' file on John, he discovers a Polaroid of the now adult Bethany. He falls in love with her and becomes obsessed with turning Bethany and Avery into his own family. He sends Kenny, his right-hand man, to kidnap both of them from their suburban home in Toronto. Yuri admits to Kenny that he is deeply lonely, but then shoves Kenny away when Kenny affectionately offers to be his friend.Sly brings John, Daisy and Mary to a rundown public housing project which had been a recent crime scene. Despite the squalor of the new place, John and Mary soon accept it as "home". The next day, Sly brings John a Santa Claus outfit for his new job - being a shopping mall Santa to impress little kids. Meanwhile Kenny attempts to kidnap Avery. Avery, who knows karate, beats up Kenny but is eventually captured and taken to Patch Town. Later on, John witnesses a tearful Bethany crying on the news and begging for Avery to be returned to her. A gay couple informs John that Bethany lives on the same street as they do, and they give John directions to her house. Avery arrives at Yuri's factory. Yuri tries to impress her with Patch Enterprises but Avery is terrified of him. Feeling rejected, Yuri orders Avery to be locked up, and tells Kenny to kidnap Bethany. Yuri begins to work on a plan to freeze Avery and use her likeness to create new dolls for preteen children because his factory is being criticized as "old fashioned". Unfortunately for Avery, the process used to freeze babies into dolls could potentially kill her.John and Mary get into a heated argument when Mary discovers that John wants to meet his "mother". He and Sly visit Bethany but they are then arrested by police, who think that John is some sort of psychotic pedophile who kidnapped Avery on purpose. Bethany initially believes John to be crazy, but then realizes that he is indeed her former childhood toy. Thrilled to see him again, she helps him and Sly out of prison. John offers to help Bethany rescue Avery from Yuri, but Bethany is then kidnapped by Kenny. Mary and John go with Sly to rescue her, traveling back to Patch Enterprises along with a group of men dressed as Santa Claus, who John had met during his work placement. They break into the factory and knock out the guards.Yuri has dinner with Bethany but Bethany is creeped out by him, especially when he suggests freezing Avery and making plastic copies of her. In order to distract Yuri while John breaks into Avery's jail cell (viewable on security camera monitors), she pretends to love him, kissing and hugging him. Kenny interrupts their "date" to inform Yuri of John causing a revolt in the factory. Furious at Bethany, Yuri orders Kenny to bring Avery to him so he can freeze her as a doll forever.John tracks down Miles, Miles' prostitute and the married couple who had all been reeducated. As it turns out, the reeducation luckily didn't erase their memories completely, and they all agree to help John. Together they break into Yuri's office. Yuri orders Kenny to attack them, but they become outnumbered by the vengeful factory workers. Forlorn, Yuri breaks down and cries, confessing to John that he never wanted to hurt Avery, he only wanted a real family of his own. John informs Yuri that he already had a family - all of his factory workers - and that he never needed to exploit them if he wanted to be a part of things. He tells Yuri that he will eventually be welcomed into the family soon, but only after he is reeducated. Yuri begs to not be reeducated but he is forcefully tied down and brainwashed. John asks Miles if the reeducation will hurt Yuri, and Miles, who was reeducated himself, says, "...oh yeah."John offers for Bethany and Avery to live in Patch Town, but she tells him she has to go home to Toronto. Proud of John for saving his friends and family all on his own, she embraces him and tells him that someday they'll meet again. Avery thanks John and accepts him as her older brother. As everyone leaves Patch Enterprises to celebrate, Yuri is seen still being reeducated, singing a song that had been used as a jingle for the old commercial used to sell the dolls in the 1980's. Kenny quits being Yuri's henchman and gets a work placement in Toronto. He also finally finds a girlfriend, a short woman who works at the employment office. Bethany and Avery go back to Toronto for Christmas, and John declares that one day Patch Town will be a beautiful place again.
    

Rob Ramsay

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