
            A man named Frank comes home to find his son Theo's babysitter Betsy being devoured from a shark inside the toilet. Two months later, Frank, and Theo have been living in a tent outside of the house, with the house on sale against Frank's wishes. After being told by his ex-wife Lady Bird that if he doesn't get a better living situation, she will gain full custody of Theo, Frank does some research on "house sharks", printing out an article before coming home to find a real estate agent attempting to sell the house to a couple. While Frank fights with the agent, the couple is eaten by the shark. The head of the real estate company Ronald Reagan then sends in a man named Darth Squanto to kill the shark, although Frank witnesses him being eaten by the shark as well.Frank calls in an eccentric house shark expert named Zachary Taylor. As they're discussing the situation at a bar, they're approached by former real estate agent Abraham Lincoln, who claims to have been hunting a house shark for a number of years. Frank agrees to let him help them, and they devise a plan to kill the shark by boarding up the windows, and locking themselves inside the house before engaging in battle with the shark. As they start the plan, they wait in the bathroom for the shark to arrive; it does a while later, and nearly kills them. They go further into the house to search for the shark, and Abraham reveals his history with the shark. Zachary convinces Frank to put on a female shark costume to seduce the shark.The shark soon arrives once again, and the group's attempts to kill it are unsuccessful, and it is revealed in the process that the shark has a laser ray. However, when Frank, and Abraham hear Zachary yell that he wants the shark alive, they begin interrogating him. He reveals that he created the shark as a result of an accident during an experiment involving plutonium. They force him to put on the female shark costume, and the group lures the shark out. The shark eventually arrives, although it soon drags Zachary down into the basement. Zachary manages to evade the shark while the shark heads back upstairs, and attacks Frank, and Abraham. However, Reagan soon appears, revealing he was planning to confront the shark himself, but was forced to hide in a closet. Armed with a grenade, Reagan lets the shark eats him, and detonates the grenade, although it fails to kill the shark.Zachary, meanwhile, sabotages the plumbing system, causing the house to flood. Frank, and Abraham swim down to the basement to fix the drain. However, Frank engages in a fight with Zachary while Abraham holds off the shark. Frank manages to fix the drainage system, and the water drains. After another close call with the shark, Frank gives Abraham the courage to face the shark in hand-to-hand combat. The shark returns, and Abraham fights it briefly, although the shark quickly begins eating him. Frank finds a syringe filled with plutonium that Zachary had dropped earlier, and injects it into the shark. He then shoots the shark, causing an explosion that destroys the house. Frank emerges from the wreckage to find Abraham's decapitated (yet still alive) head. Frank, and Abraham continue walking off while collecting Abraham's body parts.In the post-credits scene, it is shown that Zachary had escaped the house ten minutes before the explosion, and had gone into labor with a baby house shark about to be born.
    

Nathan Bonk

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