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Funny How?


            In this sequel to the first Police Academy movie, a nerdish storefront owner named Mr. Sweetchuck, is attacked and robbed of $8. by a local street gang known as "The Scullions" whom are led by the infantile Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait). After hearing about the incident, Chief Henry Hurst (George G. Robertson) arrives at the 16th precinct and notifies its captain, Pete Lassard (Howard Hesseman) that the precinct is the worst in the city for even old ladies throw things and spit at passing policemen on the street outside the station. Nevertheless, Hurst gives him 30 days or else Lassard is out. Before he leaves, the conniving Officer Mauser (Art Metrano) schemes his way into talking to Hurst. Hurst promises him the rank of captain should Lassard fail. Pete calls his brother, who happens to be Commandant Eric Lassard (George Gaynes) and asks him for six new recruits, as was promised by Hurst. Throughout the movie, Mauser is seen scheming with his dim-witted partner Sgt. Proctor (Lance Kinsey) as he attempts to take control of the precinct.The recently graduated Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg), Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf), Moses Hightower (Bubba Smith), Laverne Hooks (Marion Ramsey), and Douglas Fackler (Bruce Mahler) join the 16th precinct, and some are assigned a veteran officer partner since they're rookies: Fackler has Dooley (Ed Herihly), Mahoney has the overweight Vinnie Schtulman (Peter van Norden), and Tackleberry has Sgt. Kathleen Kirkland (Colleen Camp). At first, Tackleberry disapproves that his partner, Kirkland, carries stigmatized faults because of the fact she's a woman, but they later hit it off when they compare their preference of gun choices. Tackleberry later confides to Mahoney that he may have fallen in love with her.Mahoney and Schtulman spot a robbery at a merchant's place called "Schewchuk's Lighting", a chandelier store owned by the nerd Mr. Sweetchuck (Tim Kazurinsky) (Zed's victim from the opening scene), but the robbers escape through a back door before Mahoney and Schtulman even enter the shop. Eventually Fackler, Tackleberry and Kirkland arrive, each one contributing in his own characteristic way to the destruction of the store.Mauser is ready to suspend them, but Mahoney makes a passionate plea that convinces Lassard to give them another chance. While all this is going on, Zed and his gang go shopping in a supermarket. They cause havoc as they go, leaving the store with wagon-loads without paying. and Mr. Sweetchuck is already at hand in the supermarket to be further tormented this time by Zed and his group.Mauser gives Mahoney a new assignment; patrolling a tunnel which is congested with traffic, and thus covering him and his partner with soot in the process. Mahoney gets revenge on Mauser by switching his shampoo with Tackleberry's epoxy resin solution, which glues his hands to his hair. He ends up embarrassing himself in front of the station by being tricked into leaving the locker room... fully nude. As a result Mauser has to wear a freakish red wig through the remainder of the film. On his morning drive to the station the next day, Pete Lassard spots some of Zed's men and tries to deal with them, but is eventually over-powered and spray-painted. After his rousing speech to finish what they started, the whole gang is riled up. Progress is made and most of the gang is captured (leading to 42 arrests), but Mauser informs the captain that most of the charges were dropped for brutality and lack of evidence. Mahoney sees that Mauser did this deliberately to discredit Captain Lassard. As revenge, Mahoney has a full body cavity search done on Mauser (the search was supposed to go to one of the arrested gang members).Meanwhile, Tackleberry goes on a date with Kirkland, where they stay out late dancing. They profess their love for each other and have sex (but removing their numerous concealed weapons first before clothes).Across town, Pete goes to see his brother Eric at a Japanese steakhouse, and Eric comes out with an idea to hold a fair. At the night of the fair though, Zed's men trash the place. As a result, Lassard is out of a job the next day, while Mauser is promoted Captain. His first act is to remove Mahoney. Schtulman is quick to object to Mahoney's dismissal and is also dismissed.Mahoney, Schtulman, and Pete Lassard get together in an last-ditch attempt to stop the gang. They send in Mahoney undercover to find the leader of the gang. (Everybody at this point doesn't know Zed's name or that he is the gang leader.) Lassard and Schtulman wire Mahoney, using duct tape and a radio microphone. Under the guise of "Jughead," he is able to infiltrate the gang and find out both their hiding spot and the name of their leader. His cover is blown however due to the radio microphone cutting into a baseball game, which leads to Lassard calling every man to the location. Mauser intervenes, but takes Fackler through the air duct. However, Fackler accidentally bumps him and pushes him inside. The police arrive and arrest every gang member there. Zed escapes with Mahoney, but Lassard arrives and prepares to shoot Zed with a loaded pistol. Mahoney punches him down a flight of stairs, while Hooks arrests him. It is then revealed that Lassard's gun wasn't loaded, as he "never carried live ammo since '73".The movie ends with the officers attending Tackleberry and Kirkland's wedding. They drive off the Police Academy lot in a monster truck. At the same time a new group of police cadet misfits join the academy. Among them is the natural-born-geek Mr. Sweetchuck, and the "redeemed' Zed.
    

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment


            The movie begins in a large garage structure, where Captain Proctor (Lance Kinsey) and Commandant Mauser (Art Metrano) (from Police Academy 2) meet up with former Police Academy cadets, (now Sgts.) Chad Copeland (Scott Thomson) and Kyle Blankes (Brant van Hoffman) (from the first Police Academy movie). It seems one of the two Police Academy schools is getting the axe, and Mauser wants Copeland and Blankes to make sure that Lassard's one screws up.The next day, after the governor's speech in which he will appoint a committee to evaluate which of the two schools should remain open, Mauser starts getting an edge by kissing up to the governor (offering the committee an escort, showing governor pages of useful tactics, etc.). Nearby, the elderly and slow-witted Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) gets an idea on how to win: along with now Sgt. Jones (Michael Winslow) and Lt. Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook), he calls back his former class of '84 alumni misfits; Sgt. Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg), Sgt. Hightower (Bubba Smith), and Sgt. Tackleberry (David Graf) to the acdemy to help train the new recruits. Among the new recruits are Sgt. Fackler's wife (Debralee Scott), the nerdish store owner Sweetchuck (Tim Kazurinsky) (from Police Academy 2), former street gang leader Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait) (also from Police Academy 2), Karen Adams (Shawn Weatherly), and Tackleberry's brother-in-law Bud Kirkland (Andrew Paris). Tomoko Nogata (Brian Tochi) is a slow-witted Japanese recruit of Mauser's academy, but decides to put him in with Lassard's academy instead.After a few weeks of recruiting, Nogata is lovestruck over Callahan, and Sweetchuck contemplates quitting after his roommate Zed drives him crazy (although Tackleberry talks him out of it). Copeland and Blankes make the recruits do stuff that would make the committee think they were hopeless. Mauser wants them out on the field soon, knowing the committee will be there. The recruits fail, and are teased by Mauser and Proctor. However, Mahoney gets back at them by taping Mauser's eyes closed while doing a taste test. Proctor succeeds in removing the tape, but the tape pulls off Mauser's eyebrows.Both Lassard and Mahoney give a pep talk to each of the cadets before training resumes. At the policeperson's ball, Mahoney meets up with his hooker friend from the first film and has her do a favor on Proctor after he insults Mahoney and Adams. Copeland accidentally spills punch on Mrs. Hurst, and Mauser tries to inferfere. Meanwhile, the hooker tricks Proctor into removing all his clothes and then locking him out of the hotel room (much to the dismay of onlookers). He goes out and steals a car and drives to the academy. The car is out of gas, however, and Proctor enters a building. However, the building he walks into is the gay dance club for men called the Blue Oyster Bar (briefly seen in the first two films).The next day, Mauser insults Lassard in front of the recruits by telling him that he is winning (after he pestered Hurst so much that Hurst made him believe he was winning), so Mahoney gets him back by giving a speech at the ball and then putting the microphone in a pitcher of water. When Mauser grabs it, it electrocutes him.On the final day of the cadet training/evaluation competition, one person from each school attends the governor's ball. (Proctor misunderstands and sends in two, one of whom portrayed by David James Elliott) Copeland and Blankes play with the computer system as cars are sent to wrong locations, but are caught by Hooks who punches them out cold. At the governor's party, a gang of thieves dressed as busboys kidnap Hedges and take the governor hostage. but the squad arrives in time to save the day and rescue the governor.Lassard's school stays open, and the epilogue shows Commandant Lassard making a speech on how the academy is grateful for the "many, many" recruits. The graduating class salutes to the camera before the movie ends.
    

Police Academy 3: Back in Training

Alphabet City


            Police Academy head Commandant Eric Lassard (George Gaynes) decides that the police force is overworked and understaffed, so he comes up with the idea of recruiting civilian volunteers to work side-by-side with his officers in a program called "Citizens On Patrol" (COP). Fellow alumni Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg) and his friends Moses Hightower (Bubba Smith), Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf), Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait), Sweetchuck (Tim Kazurinsky), Laverne Hooks (Marion Ramsey), and Debbie Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook) are in charge of training the civilians. The civilians include the enormous obese Tommy "House" Conklin (Tab Thacker), gung-ho senior citizen Lois Feldman (Billie Bird), and two skateboarding delinquents Kyle (David Spade) and Arnie (Brian Backer).However, the veteran academy trainer, Captain Thaddeus Harris (G.W. Bailey) believes "the concept of citizens doing police work is asinine" and plans to take over Lassard's job, and that's why Harris is determined to see the COP program fail, and to work on a plan to discredit Mahoney (whom Harris has had a grudge against ever since the very first movie). When Lassard leaves on an overseas conference, Harris, along with his dull-witted right hand man Lt. Proctor (Lance Kinsey), are put in charge of the academy and Harris immedietely plots to make the COP volunteers quit and leave the police work to the officers.The volunteers do well in their training, Mrs. Feldman excelling in firing Tackleberry's .44 Magnum. In training for water safety and drowning victim rescue, Zed "rescues" a cadet but experiences a personal loss of his no longer functioning watch, and mourns the death of the cartoon character inside of it saying it was the last thing he ever stole before joining the academy. Through his loss Zed gains a love interest, Laura (Corinne Bohrer), a reporter/photographer who has come to the academy to view Lassard's COP program and takes a fancy to former gang leader Zed. Unfortunately Harris ruins the moment and insults Zed and Laura, which causes Zed to replace Harris's deoderant with mace. In the next scene while Zed instructs the volunteers on the very important matter of how to correctly eat a donut, Harris is seen wearing a medical device suspending his arms in the air. Despite the pranks played upon him during the various training exercises the volunteers take, Harris is determined to make the Citizens on Patrol program fail.Meanwhile, Jones learns that volunteers House, Kyle, and Arnie believe themselves ready to go out and catch criminals, so Jones, Mahoney, Hightower, and Tackleberry play a prank on the boys to make them take their training more seriously. Mahoney and Jones fake an arrest with Hightower playing a voodoo priest, and Tackleberry playing a hockey-masked chainsaw wielding maniac to successfully scare the boys.The next day, after being yelled at again by Captain Harris and being called a disgrace, Zed is comforted again by Laura, who says she thinks he's perfect.After several volunteers foil an undercover police sting, the Citizens on Patrol program is suspended, much to Harris's delight. While Harris gives a tour of his precinct to a group of foreign dignitaries, the numb-skull Proctor messes up and is tricked by the inmates into releasing every inmate at the Precinct 19 jail, including a team of ninjas, and a redneck thug gang leader (Randall "Tex" Cobb), who had taken Zed's place as leader of the gang back after Zed's arrest in Police Academy 2.When Lassard's officers hear of the jailbreak, the COP volunteers are dispatched along with the regular officers to catch the escaped felons, which include a team of ninja warriors. After Jones, Hightower and Lois Feldman stop a robbery, Mahoney and Tackleberry take a high speed air balloon to chase after another group of robbers. As a result, the felons are all recaptured. Meanwhile, House, Kyle, and Arnie save Harris and Proctor from drowning in a river. And Zed impresses Laura by saving Sweetchuck's life after they both fall out of a plane in mid-air.The several police chiefs who came to witness Lassard's program in action congratulate and compliment Lassard on his program and his officers.
    

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol


            The cynical Captain Harris and his dim-witted lacky Lt. Proctor finally finds the goods he needs to push Commandant Eric Lassard out at the Police Academy: he is one year late for mandatory retirement. But before he retires, Lassard is chosen as "Police Officer of the Decade", and brings his favorite graduates Sgts. Hightower, Jones, Tackleberry and Hooks, Lt. Callahan, and new graduate Officer Thomas "House" Conklin to the National Police Chiefs Convention in Miami Beach to celebrate with him.Harris and Proctor decide to travel down to Miami Beach to discredit Lassard once again so Harris can attempt again to take over the police academy for himself. But Harris and Proctor are tricked into chartering an old rickety cargo flight down to Florida while the police academy group travels first class aboard a 747 plane.While there, the misfit police officers meet Lassard's nephew, Sgt. Nick Lassard of the Miami Police Department. The fun is complicated when he unwittingly takes a bag belonging to jewel thieves containing stolen merchandise.As the jewel thieves try to get the bag back, and Captain Harris tries to prove to Commissioner Hurst that he's the right man to replace Commandant Lassard, the usual hijinks ensue, including Lassard trying to guess the annual procedural demonstration.At the awards ceremony, when the jewel thieves kidnap Commandant Lassard, he goes willingly, thinking it is indeed the procedural demonstration. It launches a negotiation, which Captain Harris botches, getting himself captured as well. A chase across the Everglades ensues to rescue the oblivious and absent-minded Commandant. During the chase, Harris falls overboard and is nearly eaten by a large aligator, until Hightower dives into the water to rescue him and subdue the aligator. When the chase leads to the end, Lassard is held at gunpoint by the jewel thief's leader, still thinking that it's a demonstration. When Nick tells his uncle that this isn't a demonstration, the elderly Commandant knocks out the jewel thief by himself and captures him.The next day, when Commandant Lassard is giving his "Police Officer of the Decade" award and announces his retirement from the force, a loophole by Nick shows that his mandatory retirement is in fact optional and that he can retire anytime he wants to. Lassard then changes his mind about retiring much to great joy and applause.
    

Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach


            The police must investigate a series of robberies along a strip of land in the city. The new mayor of the city (Kenneth Mars) assigns Captain Harris (G.W. Bailey) and Lt. Proctor (Lance Kinsey) to the case, but while on stakeout the Wilson gang manages to slip through their fingers.The Mayor wants Harris and Proctor to work with Police Academy head Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) on apprehending the gang. Lassard assembles a seven-man team consisting of Hightower (Bubba Smith), Tackleberry (David Graf), Jones (Michael Winslow), Hooks (Marion Ramsey), Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook), Fackler (Bruce Mahler), and Lassard's nephew, Nick (Matt McCoy) who transfers from Miami (in the previous film Police Acdemy 5) to the city to remain close to his friends and dull-witted uncle.After distributing flyers as to the information of the Wilson gang and getting nowhere, Nick McCoy stumbles upon a paper heading of an antique diamond heading to a museum, and gets an idea to use it as bait: however the robbers nab the diamond anyway by cutting a hole in the truck and escaping through the sewer system. McCoy then decides to go undercover to get information regarding a possible hideout, but Harris decides to go undercover to get a confession.It turns out that Harris goes undercover as a window washer at a tall building, for which he has a fear of heights, and gets a confession of himself on tape after his loyal but numb-skull lacky, Proctor, accidentally knocks him over the balcony.It is revealed here that the robberies are committed by a group of three dim-witted criminals who do not seem to be able to do this on their own, and it is revealed they are being guided by a literally shadow figure known as the "Mastermind", who speaks to the three behind a wall of glass and uses a voice distortion device. He devises a plan to get the cops out of the way.Commandant Lassard and his men are later suspended after stolen jewellery from the last robbery is planted in Lassard's locker, pending an investigation. The misfit cops decide to clear Lassard's name by nabbing the gang and the ringleader. Accessing data files from a computer, McCoy deduces that the robberies are occurring along a bus route, thus intentionally lowering property values in that part of the city. They also learn that someone must be 'leaking' information to the bad guys, which is why they are always one step ahead of the Police Academy.The Police Academy force finds and does battle with the Wilson gang, while Nick chases the leader. A pursuit follows, which leads to Commissioner Hurst's (George Robertson) office. It is revealed that the Mayor is the "Mastermind" and that Captain Harris has been unwittingly leaking information during his daily meetings with the Mayor. Hurst apologizes and reinstates the force, and a plaque is given to honor the officers' bravery the next day.As the movie closes, Harris is sitting in a chair when a string tying the balloon float is cut, lifting his chair and floating him up into the air as he shouts Proctor's name.
    

Michael Winslow

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