
            Barton Fink (John Turturro) is a playwright who while he's just released his first play on Broadway garnering good reviews, he doubts his own talent. He gets called to Hollywood to write screenplays, and accepts. He checks in at the Earle, a huge hotel with an eerie atmosphere where Chet (Steve Buscemi), the receptionist and manager, welcomes him and gives him his key.At the Earle, everything seems to disturb Fink: First it's the noise of the neighbouring guest. Then there's the picture of a woman at the beach in his room, and he seems to hear the sound of crashing waves. To add to his disquiet, Fink is blocked, and cannot get past the first few sentences of his work. He takes to correcting the peeling wallpaper, which is constantly falling off because of the heat. A mosquito bites him, which his future boss will notice in his job interview. Fink also complains about the laughter and crazy cries of a male's voice.Jack Lipnick (Michael Lerner), the boss of Universal Pictures, refuses to define his movies as b-movies. He's loud and pushy, and his timid secretary, Garland Standord (David Warrilow) used to be a big shot but now he's basically a butler to a crazy boss á la Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. Lipnick decides that Fink is going to write a film about boxing starring Wallace Beery, but Fink seems paralyzed in the face of his situation. Nevertheless, the Universal deal is all set, and Fink sets out to write. He asks for help from Ben Geisler (Tony Shalhoub), who calls Universal and tells them to offer some images of another movie -- still on the montage board -- to inspire Fink, but it doesn't work.Back at the hotel, the wallpaper is peeling off and the heat is overwhelming. The noisy neighbour Fink complained about, insurance salesman Charlie Meadows (John Goodman), apologizes for the noise, adding that he's quite successful at his work. He advises Fink to look for inspiration to any of the many successful writers residing in Hollywood. There is a weird mishap with their shoes, which are switched after they'd left them outside their rooms. They exchange shoes again.Fink talks to W. P. Mayhew (John Mahoney) -- a writer with a serious aim in mind whom he admires -- who tells Fink that he has been offered every kind of film possible. Mayhew drinks a lot, and invites Fink over. When Fink passes Mayhew's secretary and personal assistant Audrey Taylor (Judy Davis), she tells him to call on Mayhew some other time, as Mayhew is completely drunk, demanding to know where his honey is, and will probably become quite violent.Meadows tells Fink that he's had a terrible day at work, and that he's going to be moving back and forth to and from New York. Fink gives him the address of some relatives of his to visit.As Fink's block continues, he is faced with the fact that he needs to present a first draft the next morning. Unable to write, he calls Audrey in desperation to ask her whether she found an old script of Mayhew's about boxing. Even though he can hear Mayhew rambling on the background, he insists that she call on him. She does, eventually, and they end having sex in Fink's suffocating room.The next morning, Barton wakes to the buzz of the mosquito. When he smashes it against Audrey's skin, he notices more blood than usual: Audrey is dead, and a huge bloodstain spreads on the mattress. Fink panics and asks for help from Meadows, who tells him that he'll take care of everything and that Fink should go to his meeting with Lipnick. Geisler is panicking now, because he doesn't want to have his head cut off if Fink doesn't perform.While Fink knows that he's written nothing so far, he tells Lipnick that he doesn't usually show anything to anybody until he's finished. When Stanford says that Fink is unacceptable, Lipnick tells Stanford to kiss Fink's feet to ask for his forgiveness. When Fink returns to the Earle, it is empty. Charlie says that he's leaving for New York and leaves all his most prized possessions in a box in Fink's hands.Two detectives, Mastrionotti (Richard Portnow) and Deutsch (Christopher Murney) appear asking for Charlie Meadows, whose nickname is Mad Mutt, a psychopath who cuts his victims' heads off. Fink gives them useless data, so they're are really angry with him and leave their card with him.Fink has been talking to the detectives at the entrance of the Earle. He comes back to his room, watches the blood-stained matress, shakes the box to hear the sound of the cut-off head, and suddenly has a burst of inspiration and sets out to write like a maniac, keeping the box unopened on his desk. He writes the entire screenplay of a boxing film and gives it to Lipnick, goes out dancing to celebrate, and gets into a fight with a sailor over his girl. Mayhem ensues and Army and Navy soldiers fight.When Fink comes back to his hotel room, he finds that the detectives are already in and have seen the bloodstain. They ask where the heads of the victims are, but Fink says he doesn't know. They handcuff Fink to the bed because they believe that Charlie is coming back. At that moment, Charlie appears. There is smoke rising from the elevator, and soon everything is burning down. Charlie shoots, killing one of the detectives and wounding the other. He tells Fink that he couldn't stand his complaining about him and that Fink has been a voyeur to the seedy side of life while Charlie lives it all the time. Charlie releases Fink from the cuffs and enters his own room while the hotel burns down.Fink meets Lipnick, who's dressed as a colonel as he's been put on reserves because of the war, and who says that the script is rubbish: he doesn't want any of the psychotrash Fink has written; he just wants just one or two brushstrokes so that the critics give the film good reviews, but ultimately all he wanted was a b-film without much originality but with many long fights. He tells Fink that he's not really special or talented, and that the studio has hundreds of writers on contract that will give its films the Barton Fink touch: a slice of middle-class life. Lipnick tells Fink that he wants Fink to stay in Hollywood. While Fink is forced by contract to give everything he writes to Universal, nothing he'll write will ever see the light of day. He doesn't even try to fight the situation.At the end, Fink is walking along the beach. He meets a girl. She sits and then looks out toward the water, looking exactly like the picture in Fink's hotel room as the credits roll.
    

Barton Fink


            
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The Postman Always Rings Twice

Mockingbird Don't Sing

Yonkers Joe

Poster Boy


            The film follows a United States Border Patrol Agent in Charge, Jeb Maynard (Bronson), who is forced to track down the killers of a young Mexican boy and his colleague and friend, a veteran Senior Patrol Agent, "Scooter" Jackson, portrayed by (Wilford Brimley). Jeb Maynard is the Patrol Agent in Charge of the "fictional" Otay Border Patrol Station, located in the hills east of San Diego, CA. Otay Station is a composite of the actual El Cajon, CA and Brown Field, CA Border Patrol Stations. He is helped by the young boy's mother, Elena Morales, (Karmin Murcelo) and a rookie Border Patrol Agent, Jimmy Fantes, (Kirby).Senior Patrol Agent Jackson and the young boy are murdered by Hotchkiss, a ruthless alien smuggler, also called "the Marine" by the aliens, portrayed by (Ed Harris). The murders take place when a truckload of illegal aliens being smuggled by Hotchkiss is stopped by Senior Patrol Agent Jackson while on routine road patrol. The truck has boxes of tomatoes on top of a hidden roof on the back of the truck. Under the roof is a hidden compartment containing the load of illegal aliens. Hotchkiss shoots "Scooter" from a concealed position in the back of the truck with a sawed-off shotgun at close range. The Mexican boy is badly wounded by stray buck shot so Hotchkiss finishes him off with another blast from his shotgun. Hotchkiss drags the bodies into the bushes along the side of the road and conceals the Border Patrol sedan in the same bushes. The other alien smuggler driving the truck with Hotchkiss becomes very nervous about the murders so Hotchkiss later kills him to keep him silent after they drop off the load of illegal aliens at a local fruit ranch, owned by well to do fruit farmer Carl Richards, and used as a front to smuggle aliens. Hotchkiss later abandons the truck used to smuggle the aliens along a rural road. Hotchkiss leaves the body of the other alien smuggler who was driving the truck the night of the murders, along with the truck, and conceals some small bags of marijuana in the truck to make it appear to be a drug smuggler's vehicle. Other Border Patrol Agents find the bodies of Agent "Scooter" Jackson and the boy, and the Border Patrol car later in the morning. Agent Fantes finds some fresh tomatoes near the bodies. Agent Maynard notices some boot prints in the dirt among all the other foot prints at the crime scene. These particular prints were made by a pair of military style boots with some odd markings in the soles. One of a veteran Border Patrol Agent's professional skills is "sign-cutting." "Sign-cutting" is the skill to examine, analyze, and interpret tracks and marks made in the ground. Patrol Agents use this skill to track groups of illegal aliens crossing the border. Maynard has Fantes take the tomatoes to the Agriculture department of a nearby university for analysis. The F.B.I. is called to investigate. The F.B.I. has primary juridiction investigating the murder of any federal agents. A couple of days later the abandoned truck is found with the drugs. The F.B.I. agents investigating the murders wrongly conclude that Agent "Scooter" Jackson stopped some drug smugglers that night and was shot because of it. Hotchkiss is running a sophisticated and highly profitable alien smuggling operation between Mexico and the United States. Maynard and Fantes start checking the trails in the hills that the smugglers use to bring in illegal aliens and drugs. They find the same military boot prints along a trail where a Border Patrol electronic ground sensor has been dug up and disabled. Hotchkiss is a former U.S. Marine who had been trained on such equipment while in the Marine Corps. He discovered the sensor and disabled it on a prior smuggling run.Jeb Maynard thinks that "Scooter" Jackson was murdered by alien smugglers and tries to convince the F.B.I. that the marijuana in the truck was merely a ruse. The F.B.I. does not believe him. After "Scooter" Jackson's funeral with full honors, Jeb tells his boss, I&NS Commissioner Malcolm Wallace, about his suspicions. Commissioner Wallace cautions Jeb to proceed carefully in the matter. So Jeb begins his own investigation of the murders with the assistance of Patrol Agent Jimmy Fantes. Maynard had found a piece of paper with a San Diego address on it in the murdered Mexican boy's clothes. Maynard goes to the address and finds the boy's mother, Elena Morales, working at a well to do family's home as their nanny. Maynard takes Elena to the morgue so she can identify her son's remains. Maynard then asks for her help in finding her son's killers. Elena is brave and she agrees. Maynard goes undercover posing as the woman's cousin. They cross into Mexico and she introduces him to an alien smuggler in Tijuana, Mexico who brought her over the border when she last crossed. This smuggler is Hotchkiss's partner in Mexico. Maynard's physical features are such that he can pass for Mexican. Elena tells the smuggler that her cousin is simple minded and doesn't talk much. Jeb Maynard cannot speak Spanish well enough to pass as a native Mexican. Elena pays the smuggler with money Jeb gave her.They are smuggled across the U.S.-Mexican border and through the hills east of San Diego into the United States along with a group of thirty illegal aliens. Maynard hears the smuggler guiding the group talking about "the Marine" who runs things" to Elena. But then the group is ambushed by bandits who want to rob the group. Jeb and Elena escape unharmed. Jeb and Elena walk back towards the suburbs of San Diego. Jeb gets Elena home and thanks her for her help. He tell Elena that she should stop by his office the following week and he will try to help her straighten out her immigration status in the United States.Maynard gets home, cleans up, and tries to get some sleep. Jimmy Fantes stops by Maynard's home to report to him that the agriculture report came back on the tomatoes found at the crime scene. These particular tomatoes were treated with a particular new brand of pesticide. Fantes checked with the local office of the U.S. Department of Agriculture and only a few large farms in the local area use that brand of pesticide. Maynard and Fantes meet later at the Border Patrol station to plan their next move. They put on their Border Patrol uniforms and drive in Jeb's Border Patrol S.U.V. to check the local fruit farms that use that pesticide. They finally end up at Carl Richards's large fruit ranch. Jeb knows of Richards's reputation for hiring illegal aliens for poor wages to harvest his fruit. Hotchkiss is in the main ranch house when Maynard and Fantes arrive. Hotchkiss stays inside the house and Richards goes outside to speak to the Border Patrol Agents. While talking to Richards, Jeb Maynard notices the same style military boot prints in the dirt near the main house that he detected at the crime scene.Jeb Maynard and Jim Fantes set up a surveillance of the Richards Ranch with the assistance of Border Patrol Agents Lambert and Monroe. While using binoculars they see Hotchkiss wearing his combat boots and camouflage marine field jacket departing the house with other smugglers, including the Mexican smuggler who was guiding the group that Jeb and Elena had infiltrated. Maynard has found "the Marine". Hotchkiss is planning a large alien smuggling run soon that will bring hundreds of illegal aliens into the U.S. in one evening. Then he plans on shutting down operations for a while until things cool off.From what he witnesses on the surveillance of the ranch over the following days Jeb Maynard deduces Hotchkiss's plans. Maynard get all his agents together at the station and plans an operation for the following evening. The Border Patrol is going to raid the Richards Ranch. Jeb Maynard and his Border Patrol Agents raid the ranch in the late evening/early morning capturing all the illegal aliens and the smugglers bringing them into the ranch's main barn. At dawn Hotchkiss arrives at the ranch with the last load of illegal aliens. As the Patrol Agents attempt to arrest him Hotchkiss pulls out a model MAC-10 nine millimeter machine pistol and fires a burst at the agents. The agents take cover and Hotchkiss jumps in a car and speeds away. Jeb Maynard pursues him in a Border Patrol four wheel drive truck. Hotchkiss attempts to lose Maynard on an old dirt road. The road dead ends and Hotchkiss runs on foot into the surrounding trees and bushes. Maynard draws his Smith and Wesson Model 28 .357 Magnum revolver from its holster and starts tracking Hotchkiss through the forest. Hotchkiss cirlces around back to the vehicles thinking he has given Maynard the slip. Just as Hotchkiss is about to get back in his car Maynard emerges from the treeline with his revolver pointed at Hotchkiss and says, "the end of the road." Hotchkiss wheels about and starts firing his MAC-10 machine pistol at Maynard. Maynard is a better shot and kills Hotchkiss with a single shot from his .357 Magnum.The film ends with Maynard and Fantes watching Richards leaving the United States Court House in San Diego, CA after he has been sentenced to three years in federal prison for alien smuggling. Fantes laments that Richards will probably go right back to smuggling aliens within a month of his release from prison. Jeb Maynard responds by saying, It's okay kid, we'll be there waiting for him.
    

Borderline


            A man stumbles into a convenience store and shows the store clerk his shotgun and demands he empty the safe and cash register. The clerk says that he does not know the combination to the safe and he hits the silent alarm on the floor. With the register nearly empty, the potential thief forces the clerk to scratch off lottery tickets. After getting a $5,000 winner, the would-be robber sees a hulking man wearing a police uniform; the undead Maniac Cop, Matt Cordell (Robert Z'Dar), in the back of the store. The thief fires his shotgun, but the unaffected undead cop takes the shotgun away from him and beats him with the butt of the gun, and then shoots the store clerk dead. The Maniac Cop then hands the shotgun back to the crook and leaves out the back door. The man gets up and runs outside the front door where the real police are waiting. The man tells them that one of the cops was responsible for the murder, and the man gets gunned down for not dropping his weapon.The next day, the new police commissioner, Edward Doyle (Michael Lerner), tells Jack Forrest (Bruce Campbell) and Theresa Malloy, that they are both cleared for the murders they suspected them of committing (in the previous 'Maniac Cop' movie), but he refuses to believe them that Matt Cordell is responsible for Cordell has been dead for over 10 years and that he died in prison. Theresa says that since they have not found a body in the river where the supposed Maniac Cop had driven into weeks earlier, Cordell must still be alive. The commissioner tells the two officers that they see the police psychiatrist Susan Riley (Claudia Christian). During their session, Susan suggests to Jack and Theresa that the so-called "Maniac Cop" was someone other then Cordell. Theresa is angry at Jack's willingness to accept that theory in order to keep his job.Meanwhile, Detective Sam McKinney (Robert Davi) is on patrol when he shoots and kills a holdup suspect. He is sent to see Susan over this incident. They discuss his indifference towards killing a man and also McKinney's old partner who committed suicide.That evening, Jack talks to Harry, a blind newsstand vender, when the unseen Cordell walks up and stabs Jack through the neck with his billy sick blade, sparing the blind Harry. At the coroner's office, Detective McKinney shows Theresa Jack's body and then rails her about their mild argument they had earlier. Commissioner Doyle and McKinney put "pressure" on Theresa so she will not go to the press with the story about "a dead man" being the Maniac Cop. McKinney sticks it to Susan for being a doctor.Another night later, a man tries to talk to a cop out of towing his illegally parked car away, and Cordell shows up by beating up the officer and driving the tow truck away with the cop hooked on the back whom is dragged to his death.The next day, Susan talks to Harry, who says that he brushed against Jack's killer and was reminded of the cold, dead flesh of lifeless bodies surrounding him in a trench during World War II. Harry claims that Jack's killer was "very cold" with no body heat at all... something only a corpse would be. Meanwhile, the man who avoided having his car towed is arrested and he tries to tell them that a cop who tried to tow his car away was killed by another cop, whose face he could not see. McKinney and Doyle discuss the recent killings, and the Commissioner avoids the detective's suggestions that Cordell is the murderer and again repeats that Cordell has been long dead.That evening, Theresa packs her bags and tells Susan that she is leaving town, but first going on a local TV talk show to alert people of the killings and that the Maniac Cop is back. Susan gets in the taxi with her to try to talk her out of running; when the cabbie stops for an apparently flat tire. Theresa sees that Cordell is right behind them, and attempts to drive away. Theresa crashes the cab, gets out and is thrown through a window by Cordell. The Maniac Cop handcuffs Susan to the taxi's steering wheel and rolls the car away down the road. After Theresa attacks Cordell with a chainsaw, he manages to wrestle the chainsaw away from her and snaps her neck with his super strength. Susan manages to get inside the runaway taxi and turn off the road, flipping the vehicle.Another day or so later, Susan goes on the talk show 'Criminals at Large' with Doyle and discusses her encounter with the still-living Maniac Cop, Matt Cordell. After the show, Doyle suspends Susan from the police force and orders her to keep silent about the undead cop.Across town, in a local strip club, a scruffy man named Turkell (Leo Rossi) watches stripper Cheryl on stage. Later, Cheryl is in a seedy hotel room, talking to her mother on the phone and lying about her job and place of residence. Someone starts to knock on the front door. Cheryl hangs up and tries to call for help, but the person evidently leaves. Suddenly, Turkell crashes through her window, knocks the woman to the floor, and puts his hand around her neck to strangle her. Cordell breaks through the door, and starts choking Cheryl. Cordell then throws two cops across the room when they enter to arrest Turkell and he and the undead cop escape.Turkell excitedly talks to Cordell and compliments his "gimmick". They go to Turkell's apartment where the man shows the officer pictures of his girls (whom are dead stripper victims; Turkell is a serial killer of exotic dancers). He notices that Cordell hasn't spoken a word since he rescued him and asks him his name. When Cordell doesn't answer, Turkell goes to get a pen and paper for Cordell to write it out, until Cordell manages to whisper his name through his decomposing vocal cords. Later, Turkell asks what happened to Cordell and why he still manages to live despite that he is clearly dead and rotting. As Turkell goes to sleep in his bed, Cordell remains sitting in a chair and thinks back to his sentencing and his attack in the showers at Sing Sing by the three inmates who killed him (in a recycled flashback scene from the first 'Maniac Cop').The next day, the police put the word out that Cheryl died in the attack so the serial killer will relax. Susan visits Cheryl where she sees her neck bruises and asks what the cop's hands felt like. Cheryl says: "like ice!" McKinney, Susan, Detective Lovejoy and Cheryl go to the strip club where the woman points out Turkell and the man is arrested. McKinney goes to Turkell's apartment and finds the photos of the dead strippers, including one of Cheryl.Susan is at Turkell's cell, wanting to talk to him about Cordell. Turkell says that if she wants to know, she should just stick around. Meanwhile, the zombie-like Cordell shoots and kills a number of police officers at a shooting range (from behind the targets), grabs a gun, walks into the police station, and begins shooting all the officers and people that are in his path. Susan is taken hostage by Turkell who breaks out of his cell with his cellmate, Blum, whom get some guns from the precinct armory as well as police uniforms. Turkell tells Susan that they are going to Sing Sing to break out all the prisoners on Death Row to begin a crime spree. Turkell, Blum, and Cordell get to a prison bus and Turkell gets in the driver's seat and escapes by plowing through some cop cars. McKinney rides with Doyle as they chase the prison bus to Sing Sing, where he tells the commissioner that the only way he can stop Cordell is by reopening the "rights violations" case against Cordell and sign a confession, admitting to setting up the troublesome officer up for finding out about "payoffs" involving the mayor, the governor, and most of New York's high ranking police officials.Turkell and the bus arrive at Sing Sing and since Turkell is disguised as a police officer, the cop at the front gate allows them in and says that the prisoner they are transporting (Blum) has been "delivered". But just then, the warden tells the cop over the phone that Blum was broken out of jail an hour ago and tells the cop to seal off the prison. As Cordell and Turkell begin to release all the prisoners from their cells, over an intercom, Doyle tells Cordell to stop and that his conviction will be reversed due to perjury at the trial committed by himself, the former commissioner Pike as well as most of the high ranking officers on the police force. As Turkell calls out after him, Cordell walks past the Death Row inmates and into the general population as the prisoners are beginning to riot. It is here that Cordell finds the three prisoners who attacked and killed him many years ago. One of the prisoners who attacked him throws a burning bottle at him, and a fiery Cordell, grabs, kicks, and throws his enemies against a wall. As Cordell burns a fourth man to death, a forlorn Turkell stabs him with the cop's Billy stick knife. Cordell grabs Turkell, and the men burn and both of them break through the burning wall and fall all the way down into the prison bus which explodes.In the final scene, Cordell is awarded a proper funeral and burial. McKinney drops the officer's badge on the semi-buried casket. After McKinney walks away with Susan, Cordell's hand pushes through the coffin and grabs his badge.
    

Maniac Cop 2

Immigrant

When Do We Eat?

Safe Men


            Bob Lachman, accountant for millionaires couple Brad and Caroline Sexton is in a audit meeting with the IRS that is not going well at all. The IRS request a new meeting with Bob and his clients the following day.Meanwhile, Brad and Caroline Sexton are celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary at a party attended by all their friends. Although they seem to be a loving couple, in reality they hate each other. The evening is ruined when a model of Brad's religious theme park scheme explodes and burns a hole in the designer gown of a prominent judge. Brad tosses a glass of red wine at her to put out the fire, completing the ruin of her gown.Back home in their luxurious penthouse, the Sextons trade nasty insults before retiring to their separate bedrooms. Ultimately they decide to get a divorce.The next day, Caroline goes to lunch with her girlfriends, who commiserate with her. When Brad arrives at work, his secretary hands him an envelope containing his grandfather's Swiss pocket watch. She paid to have it repaired and insists that he reimburse her in cash right away. After promising her he will go to the bank that morning, he runs into his accountant, Bob Lachman, who is carrying a carton stuffed with what appear to be Sexton Inc. records. Bob is in a great hurry to leave but Brad forces him to look at his new satellite phone and desk chair. Bob scolds him for using development money to purchase luxuries he doesn't need. Brad asks how the IRS audit went and Bob assures him all is well.The men walk out of the office together and Bob spots two IRS agents getting off the elevator. He talks loudly about Brad leaving. The agents ask the secretary where Mr. Sexton went and she says he better be going to the bank. They mistakenly assume Brad is leaving the country and put a freeze on all his credit cards and bank accounts. When Brad tries to get money from the ATM to pay for his watch repair, his card is declined.Caroline's card is refused when she tries to pay the lunch bill. She assumes Brad has already canceled the cards since they are getting divorced. In the bank, Brad learns that his accounts are all frozen but they won't tell him why. He telephones Bob, who is on his way to the airport. To his horror, Bob confesses that he has falsified the Sextons' income tax returns for years and that they now owe the IRS five million dollars.Outside the bank, IRS agent Hall is joined by IRS agent Lester, an IRS veteran but also quite overzealous who sees himself as an actual cop, even carrying a gun and all.Brad exits the bank and sees Lester and Hall coming towards him. He takes out his phone to call his lawyer, Phil. Lester thinks it is a gun and shoots it from Brad's hand. A foot chase ensues and Brad climbs into a taxi. But it is off-duty. Brad steals the taxi and drives away. At a red light, a woman gets into the back seat. It is Caroline, who demands to know why he canceled her credit cards.After a car chase, the Sextons manage to elude their pursuers. Brad drives aimlessly for hours as the couple bicker. Eventually they find themselves in a rural community. Brad swerves to miss a cow, plows through a signpost, and lands in a pond. They are forced to spend the night under a tree surrounded by cows.The next morning, Brad walks to a general store and realizes they are in Amish country. He calls Phil and learns that Lachman's telephone number has been disconnected. Obviously he has fled the country. The Sextons' pictures are in the newspaper; they are wanted for tax fraud and car theft. Brad asks Phil to wire them some money but he can't, as it would be aiding and abetting a felon. Phil suggests they just lay low for a couple of days and call him back. Brad overhears a conversation in the store between some Amish people who are returning to Michigan and a man named Yoder. The Yoders are expecting their cousins from Missouri in a couple of months to help on the farm.Outside, Brad spots a truck loaded with suitcases and steals two. He explains to Caroline that they are going to pose as the Yoders' cousins. It is only for a few days, until Phil can straighten out their situation. Caroline hates the idea but they have no choice. Luckily the suitcases contain Amish clothing for them both, although Brad's jacket is much too large.Sam Yoder and his wife Levinia live on a large farm nearby. They have several children, including a little girl named Anna. Sam's elderly parents also live there. The family accepts the Sextons as their cousins, Emma and Jacob. They also catch a lucky break when the Yoders assume Emma and Jacob are from a liberal ordnung (Amish community). This allows the Sextons to blame any of their missteps on their much liberal community. The Sextons are forced to share a bedroom but Caroline makes Brad sleep in a rocking chair.In the days following, Caroline and Brad do their best to fit in although the work is very hard and they're quite bad at it. They also must rise before dawn which is not in their genes. Brad is confronted with a fearsome Belgian horse named Big John, who pulls the plow. Caroline must scrub the floors, beat rugs, help with the cooking, milk cows, and gather chicken eggs. All the while she is longing for a cigarette and some extra strength Tylenol. At night they argue.Meanwhile, Phil has received a visit from agents Lester and Hall. He claims not to know where the Sextons are hiding. The next time Brad telephones, Phil warns him that his phone is probably tapped. In checking the Sextons' tax returns, Phil learns that Brad supposedly wrote off purchases like a jet plane. Bob Lachman still cannot be found, but Phil is working on that.Lester and Hall listen to the conversation and learn that Brad is getting his ass kicked by Big John. They pull all the files on criminals with that name, trying to find Brad's location. They believe the Sextons are in the Caribbean.Brad and Caroline's hostility toward each other has not escaped Samuel and Levinia. They decide the angry couple was sent to them by God so they could get help. They talk to the Sextons about marriage and how important it is to stay committed. Slowly the Sextons begin to give in more to the simple Amish life and find themselves regaining their love for each other. Brad gives Henner, the shy boyfriend of Rebecca, the oldest Yoder girl, tips on proposing marriage. He also helps the young couple buy a farm, using his own real estate expertise to keep them from getting ripped off by the local real estate agents.At a community barn party, Henner follows Brad's tips and finds the courage to ask Sam for his daughter's hand. Sam is happy to agree and publicly makes the announcement. Caroline asks why the Amish wear such drab clothing and learns that the women of their community have raised the same question in the past but the leadership council will not allow them to wear colors. She buys fabric and has them make colorful clothing, which they model for the council at a fashion show. Caroline was a fashion designer before she married Brad and she is happy to use her skills where they are needed. The leadership council are impressed and approve the use of colors in clothing. Rebecca asks Caroline to be her wedding coordinator. Shortly afterwards, Caroline and Brad finally reconcile and once more share a bed to the delight of the Yoder adults.Lester and Hall have the sound on the tape enhanced and hear German spoken in the various conversations taking place in the general store. They immediately guess that the Sextons are hiding with the Amish and set off there by car. Brad is frantic because Phil has left town. Even though he and Caroline have settled in with the Yoders, he knows they cannot remain there indefinitely.Lester and Hall swerve in the road to avoid a cow, run over the repaired signpost, and land in the same pond as the Sextons did and right on the taxi Brad stole. They now know they found the right Amish community.Rebecca and Henner's wedding day arrives. Brad and Caroline silently renew their own vows during the ceremony. Just as the ceremony ends, Lester and Hall arrive, accompanied by police. The Sextons are arrested and taken away. As they leave, the Yoders and their guests turn their backs on them.Phil is still missing when the Sextons are arraigned. To their horror, the presiding judge is the one whose gown Brad destroyed. Still wearing their Amish clothing, Brad and Caroline are objects of curiosity among their friends. Just then Phil arrives, out of breath. He has just gotten off a plane from Zurich, Switzerland, where he finally located Bob Lachman and had him extradited. He explains that while he was in Zurich, he sold Brad's religious theme park idea to some investors who loved it. The money will just about cover all the Sextons' debts. Bob is brought in, kicking and screaming. He attempts to apologize to Brad, who accepts the apology but still punches him in the jaw. Once all the facts are known, the case against Brad and Caroline is dismissed.Some time later, the Sextons drive to visit the Yoders. At first Samuel and Levinia just turn around and walk away but after the Sextons apologize, they reveal that they knew all along they weren't the cousins. Samuel was so desperate for help on the farm that he pretended to buy their lies so they would stay and help. Brad and Sam take a walk through the corn fields. Brad wants to thank Sam for everything and offers him his grandfather's Swiss pocket watch that he loves deeply. Sam refuses because Amish do not accept gifts. However, he is opened to make a trade for it and offers Big John in return. When they leave, the Sextons take a car load of produce, some apple pies, and Big John. Brad swerves to avoid the same cow again, only now he's able to stop before hitting the pond. The Sextons look at the real estate sign and entertains the idea that they could move into the neighborhood. Caroline then reveals it would be a great place to raise a kid, implying she's pregnant.
    

Michael Lerner

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