Smallville

Haunted History


            
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David


            Francis "Frank" Xavier Cross is a conceited, cynical television programming executive who has the position of president for television network IBC. Frank has found great success and wealth but only by becoming cold-hearted and arrogant. In the opening scenes, he is seen working out in a room with a border that reads "Cross: (n) A thing they nail people to."His ruthless concentration on his career has alienated him from his family, having only an "at arm's length" relationship with his brother James, who is now his only living blood relative. Frank overworks his assistant Grace Cooley, forcing her to constantly break plans with her family and neglect her mute son Calvin. When a disturbing TV commercial that Frank personally produced is criticized by timid staff member Eliot Loudermilk, Frank responds by firing him on Christmas Eve. Frank's boss Preston Rhinelander comes to Frank's office with an idea about reaching out to the animal audience, and takes the liberty of hiring Frank an assistant, weaselly sycophant Brice Cummings, who is transparently after his job.When Cross is given the task of heading up a live Christmas Eve broadcast of A Christmas Carol, his life begins to mirror the story he's producing. The decomposing corpse of his mentor, media mogul Lew Hayward who had died of a heart attack seven years prior, comes back to visit to tell him the error of his ways, or as Lew puts it "All my success and prestige ended on the 14th hole when I dropped dead", and warns a similar doom is befalling Frank. Lew also tells him three Ghosts will come. Frank awakens in his office, seemingly a nightmare, but Lew causes Frank's phone to call Claire Phillips, Frank's warm-hearted ex-girlfriend.The Ghost of Christmas Past appears as a loudmouthed New York City cab driver, and takes Frank back to his childhood in 1955 where his mother Doris Cross is watching The Lone Ranger with him, until his drunk and angry father Earl Cross comes home after a hard day of working at the meat packing plant, and gives him a side of veal for a Christmas present when Frank wanted a train set. Mrs. Cross says Mr. Cross was supposed to go to the toy store, and Frank's father snarls that Frank should buy his own toys. The ghost chides Frank for not doing anything in his youth except watch TV, then takes him to his late teens in 1968 when he had his first job at the TV station, where at a Christmas party he met Claire, then 1969 for his first anniversary with Claire, where they enjoy a Christmas with simple gifts. The Ghost of Christmas Past finally takes him to 1971, the year in which he chose his job as "Frisbee the Dog" over Claire, and to have dinner with Lew Hayward (who was the president of the network at the time) instead of with friends. The sequence shows how Frank gradually became the man he is in the present, first through his father, who was a blue-collar version of Frank, who in the 1955 scene ranted about how most men at the meatpacking plant are lazy slobs who make up excuses to get out of work, and in the 1971 scene when Frank breaks up with Claire because her friends offered no connections to get ahead.The Ghost of Christmas Present then appears as a life-size pixie who's cheerful, childlike demeanor offsets her violent behavior; she shows him how Grace's family lives in poverty because of his stinginess and how much his brother misses him.After the second ghost's visit, Eliot Loudermilk, now deranged and drunk after spending Christmas on the streets, storms the office with a Double-barrel shotgun and tries to murder Frank. The Ghost of Christmas Future, a seven-foot-tall ghoul with a TV screen for a face, appears and shows Frank a future in which Calvin has ended up in a mental hospital, Claire has become as cold and uncaring as he is, and only James and James' wife attend his sparse and sterile cremation.As he feels his body being burned, Frank finally sees the error of his ways and begs for a second chance. He awakens back in his office, just as the live broadcast is approaching its climax. The reformed Frank rehires Loudermilk at a considerable salary increase, and enlists his help to hijack the live broadcast. Frank steps in front of the rolling studio cameras, and publicly wishes his viewers a Merry Christmas and delivers a manic but heartfelt speech about the true meaning of Christmas. Calvin urges him to add Tiny Tim's phrase, "God bless us, everyone", finally breaking free of his mute condition. Claire rushes to the studio, aided by the Ghost of Christmas Past, who offers her a ride, and comes on set as Frank reconciles with her, sharing a romantic kiss as Grace and the other television workers start to sing "Put a Little Love in Your Heart". Frank looks up to see Lew Hayward and the Ghosts commend him, then vanish.
    

Scrooged


            At Trinity School, a Catholic boys' preparatory school, the shy, socially inept 15-year-old freshman Jerome E. "Jerry" Renault makes the football team, despite his small stature. He struggles on the field during practice, but cannot keep up with the other teammates, and is often berated by the strict coach.Meanwhile, Archie Costello, the charismatic head of "The Vigils" a gang and secret society, compiles a list of socially ostracized students with the aid of Obie, The Vigils' nerd-like treasurer. These outcasts will be assigned to perform prank assignments as part of their Vigils initiations. Jerry Renault is on Archie's list, as is Roland "The Goober" Goubert. The next prank is to be "The Chocolates," and is designed to disrupt the school's annual fund raising chocolate sale. When Archie learns that Jerry Renault's mother recently died from cancer, he declares the young football player requires "therapy," and enlists Jerry in "The Chocolates" prank.Meanwhile, taking advantage of the Trinity School headmaster's illness and convalescence, the corrupt Brother Leon hopes to take over the position by gaining attention with a formidable fund raising effort. He purchases outdated Mother's Day candy, and plans to repackage it for the Trinity fundraiser. He hopes to sell 20,000 boxes of candy at a significantly increased profit, and thereby be declared the school's new leader. Unaware of the Vigils' plot against the chocolate sale, Brother Leon enlists Archie's aid in rallying fellow students to sell candy.During a secret meeting with the Vigils, Archie inducts "Goober" Goubert into the Vigils by assigning him to loosen the furniture screws in Brother Eugene's classroom. However, in time-honored Vigils tradition headed by Bill Carter, the Vigil's president and Archie's superior, Archie must blindly take one marble from among six - five white and one black - in a box. Should he select the black marble, Goober will be freed from his task and Archie will have to perform it. Archie draws a white marble, and Goober is charged with loosening the screws. Archie then declares that the chocolate sale will give the Vigils an opportunity to defy school authority once and for all. That afternoon, Jerry discovers a note from the Vigils in his locker, and later learns that he must refuse to sell candy for the school. Meanwhile, Archie is blackmailing another student, a local punk named Emile Janza, into keeping Jerry in line by threatening to reveal photographs of Emile masturbating.Dismayed at the rebellion against selling candy, Brother Leon threatens student David Caroni with a failing grade if he does not reveal the plot. Caroni explains that The Vigils ordered Jerry to refuse to sell candy for ten days. At the end of the ten days, however, Jerry still refuses to sell the chocolate. As brother Leon beats Jerry in front of the class, the boy fantasizes about his mother's death and about having a love affair with a female recluse named Lisa.Following Jerry's lead, other Vigils members and most of the other students join the chocolate boycott. Since Brother Leon used his own money to buy the outdated chocolate, his personal finances are at stake. In an attempt to restore order, he threatens to close the school if the Vigils continue in their refusal to sell chocolates. Archie fears that he is losing control of The Vigils when Obie reports that other students have been made aware of the "ten day plot," and blame the club for the threatened school closure.In response, Archie takes charge and orders The Vigils to start selling chocolates, and bullies younger members to steal money from their parents to make up the deficit. Brother Leon celebrates when 15,000 boxes of candy have been sold, but reminds the students they still need to sell 5,000 more to meet their goal.Giving in to pressure from Archie's blackmail, Emile Janza threatens to expose Jerry Renault as a homosexual if he continues to refuse selling chocolates. When Emile suggests to other students that Jerry's mother died of shame over her son's deviant sexuality, Jerry is beaten by a gang of pre-teen kids hired by Emile and ostracized by his classmates and the entire school.Finally, 19,950 boxes of candy have been sold, and Brother Leon believes the fifty unsold boxes represent Jerry's sales quota. In fact, the fifty boxes have been set aside by Archie and Obie as part of a boxing rally they have planned to take place at the school football field the following night. The contest pits Jerry against Emile, and the $2 tickets permit students to dictate the sorts of brutality they would like to see during the bout, with the fifty boxes of chocolate offered as the prizes for a knockout. As before, since he has made the assignment, Archie draws a marble. To his relief, he draws a white marble, but Carter reminds him there are two assigned to the task-Emile and Jerry - and Archie is forced to draw another marble. This time, however, his luck runs out and he draws the black marble.Archie is thrown into the ring, as the students' fight tactics are called out. In a twist of fate, Jerry knocks Archie unconscious to the cheers of the crowd. However Jerry imagines his mother sitting in the crowd crying, and realizes he has become just like his tormentors. Later, Jerry tells Goober, his one remaining friend, that he should have sold chocolates after all.After his humiliation, Archie is demoted and Obie becomes the new head of The Vigils. As Archie sulks, Obie concocts new demeaning initiation assignments.
    

The Chocolate War

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The Home


            In a strange, dark world full of pipes, tubes, corridors and a mysterious "edge" that naughty children are threatened with being thrown over, the Hollowhead family lives in a brightly lit, colorful happy home, until some clogged tubes, an imposing boss, and a little too much softening cream bring it all crashing down on them. Henry Hollowhead informs his wife that his new boss will be coming to dinner, and she graciously agrees to make it a memorable one. He hopes to take advantage of this chance at getting a promotion at United Umbilical by impressing his boss over a delicous dinner. Meanwhile, Billy Hollowhead and his best friend are making a mess in the bedroom with Billy's new splat-spray game, using the family pet's parasites as ammunition. Older sister, budding beauty Cindy Hollowhead is raving about the upcoming party, and her brother Bud is practicing just a little too loudly on his electro-chicken-accordian instrument, which he will be playing at the same party. Mr. Hollowhead and boss Mr. Crabneck arrive just in time to see the succulent Cindy leaving for the party, and Mr. Crabneck wastes no time in showing his slimey side to both daughter and mother. Dinner begins, with some idle chitchat about work, degrading into a discussion of the dangers of rationalism, and finally coming back to Mr. Hollowhead's desired promotion. At this point, Mr. Crabneck informs them that he is a very very very lonely man, and the only chance Henry has at getting promoted lies with Miriam, and her willingness to ease his boss's loneliness. Unable to restrain himself further, Mr. Crabneck attacks Miriam's neck while Henry ponders a way to get noticed at work. She fends him off with the help of her well-adjusted youngest son Billy, until Henry joins in and together, the three subdue Mr. Crabneck. It takes a few tries, as Mr. Crabneck is a tough crab to crack, but they finally knock him out and hide him in the kitchen just as the police arrive with daugther Cindy. The party has been raided by police after the party-goers tapped into a highly restricted tube, and Cindy was taken into custody under the intoxicating influence of two pounds of softening cream. Oldest son Bud returns after having been booed out of the party because of his new songs, and Mr. Crabneck wakes up once more before finally expiring at the sight of Cindy's drunken state. But, instead of throwing the body over the edge, they throw him in the regeneration chamber, revive him, and put him in the basement with Grandpa, who they are secretly keeping alive despite the law. Problem solved, promotion secured, and pervert safely locked away, the family reminds each other how important family is, because the family that slays together, stays together. And remember kids, just say "No!" to butt polish!
    

John Glover

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