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A New Leaf


            Gaetano Proclo (Jack Weston) is present with his wife's (Kay Ballard) family at her father's deathbed. Her father has never liked his son-in-law and before he dies, asks his son (Jerry Stiller), to kill him. Since theirs is a mob family, Gaetano takes the threat seriously and he runs, asking the cab driver to take him someplace where the Vespucci's will never find him. The cab driver's answer? The Ritz. The Ritz is a typical 70's gay bath house. Here you meet Chris ( F. Murray Abraham), a regular visitor who's on the prowl for the newest and/or hottest guy he can find. Also there's Claude Perkins (Paul B. Price), a chubby-chaser who takes a shine to Gaetano. Unfortunately for Gaetano, the cab driver was in the employ of his in-laws and so he tells them where he went. They send in Michael Brick (Treat Williams) who speaks with a very high voice. Also here is a really bad performer, Googie Gomez (played by the talented Rita Moreno) who is playing the bath houses for now and hoping to hit it big. She vascillates between looking for a producer that she was told would be in the audience (with whom she has a long and uncomfortable history) and decrying the belief of some that she is a drag queen. The result is a grand chase and a lot of laughs in very 70's style.
    

The Ritz


            In a European hotel of the 1920s, a man returns to his room while being shadowed by another man. Before the second man can kill the first, he is shot. The man who does the shooting is Charlie, personal chaperon to Eve Tozer, a rich socialite who is heir to her father's fortune. Charlie has found out that Eve's father's business partner, Bentik, has moved to have her father, who has been missing for years, declared legally dead so he can seize all his assets, leaving Eve broke. Eve resolves to find her father.Eve is unsuccessful at first in finding someone to fly her to the far reaches of Asia, where her father was last rumored to have gone. She is eventually recommended to a local pilot, Patrick O'Malley, who is a former World War I flying ace. He is also a drunk. When Eve arrives at his airfield, she finds he has two biplanes, one named Dorothy, the other, Lillian (after acting sisters Dorothy and Lillian Gish). O'Malley initially turns down Eve's request, despite her generous offer of money. However, unpredictably, Eve herself is an accomplished pilot, which she proves to O'Malley very quickly by taking him on a rigorous flight in one of his planes. O'Malley accepts her offer and tells his mechanic, Struts, to mount Lewis-type machine guns on both planes since they'll be flying into hostile territory.As Eve prepares for her trip, and she and Charlie walk down a crowded street, they are attacked by assassins sent by Bentik. Eve escapes but Charlie is killed while seeing she gets away safely. Eve goes immediately to O'Malley's airfield, followed by Bentik's people. She, O'Malley, and Struts manage to escape the thugs sent after Eve and they fly east.At the end of their journey's first leg is a British airbase in Iraq. That night, O'Malley and Eve go to the officer's club, where O'Malley quickly becomes inebriated. O'Malley is asked about his war record and though he has many victories to speak of, he becomes somber, talking about flying against young, highly inexperienced pilots, who were easy "kills". When Eve tells him they should go to bed early, O'Malley becomes quite rude. The next morning O'Malley is quite hung over, however, they leave on schedule.The next leg of their journey brings them to a tribal camp in Afghanistan. The camp's leader, the Sulehman Khan, welcomes them, but warns that Eve must be compliant with their laws concerning women, who are treated as subservient. Later, at a banquet, when Eve asks the Khan if he knows her father's whereabouts, he tells her he is dead. However, the Khan has other plans; he wants O'Malley to use one of his planes to drop bombs on a nearby British camp. The Khan's nephew will fly with O'Malley, armed with a pistol in case O'Malley tries to fly off. The Khan also plans to hold Eve and Struts hostage until O'Malley returns. That night, they are met by an enslaved Nepalese woman, Alessa, who says she will help them escape. She also knows that Eve's father was indeed at the Khan's camp and escaped to her village in the Himalayas. Eve and O'Malley promise to take Alessa home.The next morning, O'Malley takes the Khan's son, with the explosives, into the air on the mission. Once in the air, having not told the Khan's nephew to fasten his lap belt, O'Malley suddenly inverts the plane, dropping the man on the Khan's camp. O'Malley creates a diversion by dropping bombs on the camp while Eve, Struts and Alessa successfully escape in the other plane.The group arrives in Nepal. When they arrive, Eve, quite exhausted, asks if her father is still there. He is not, and Eve faints. While she suffers from fever and delirium, O'Malley stays with her until she is well several days later. Meanwhile, Bentik learns of his assassins' failure and hires a German flying ace, Von Hess, to track down O'Malley and eliminate him. The next morning, in the midst of an argument (Eve mistakenly believes that O'Malley took advantage of her while she was ill), Von Hess attacks the village, destroying one of O'Malley's planes. O'Malley quickly flies into combat and downs Von Hess after a brief dogfight. Upon landing, O'Malley asks Eve to tell him the truth. Eve tells him that Bentik may have sent the man to kill them. O'Malley is flustered, but agrees to continue. The two talk to the village's shaman, who tells them that Eve's father has gone to the Chinese province of Sinkiang.Eve and O'Malley leave Struts behind and make the long flight to Sinkiang. In a remote village, they finally find her father, Bradley, who is working with the villagers to defeat a local warlord, General Wong. While Eve settles in, Tozer, while giving the pilot a tour of his defenses, asks O'Malley why they came so far just to find him. O'Malley tells him about Bentik's plans. Tozer laughs, saying that before he left, he arranged for Eve's financial future to be legally bound and that Bentik presents little threat. O'Malley plans to leave with Eve the next day for Hong Kong to file against Bentik in a British court. Eve refuses to leave, saying she wants to stay and help her father. O'Malley says she's crazy and she seems convinced to leave.The next morning, Wong begins his attack, which Tozer is well prepared for, having mined the valley around his fortress. He gains a special advantage when Eve suddenly appears, flying O'Malley's plane, dropping grenades on enemy positions. She takes out a large cannon, but is hit by machine-gun fire and crashes. O'Malley rides out on horseback to find her. Eve is alive and uninjured, but a nearby enemy squad finds them. While O'Malley fights them off, Tozer begins setting off the mines in the valley, quickly winning the battle and killing Wong in the process. The soldiers retreat and O'Malley and Eve share a romantic moment.
    

High Road to China

Gator


            Four misbegotten small-time horse track habitués, Dooley (Tim Conway), Lou (Harvey Korman), Elton (Jack Weston) and Stump (Ted Wass), receive a tip on a horse named French Majesty from a trainer named Santiago (Jorge Cervera), on the condition that they each put up $1,000 for Santiago to lay down his own bet on the horse. They go to loan shark Rosco Fusco's (Joseph Ruskin) representative, DeFranco (George DiCenzo), to ask for a short-term loan of $5,000. When DeFranco tells them that it will cost ten percent, or $800, they argue that ten percent is only $500, but DeFranco insists, and instructs them to come back when they agree to his terms.Seeking Santiago at the track, Dooley and Elton and run into his groomer, Jelly (Hank Rolike), and notice a photo of Jelly with French Majesty. Jelly tells them about the horse's last victory, three years earlier, caused by French Majesty's burst to the finish line upon seeing Jelly's red shirt. Elton suggests he wear the same red shirt for French Majesty's next race on Wednesday, but Jelly refuses, insisting that the horse's feeble legs will not hold out. When they finally see Santiago, he guarantees Elton and Dooley that French Majesty will win the race if they give they bribe the jockey with a few hundred dollars. They pay the money, and Santiago promises to drug the horse to make him run, demonstrating the steroid's effectiveness on a goat. Relieved, the two gamblers leave Santiago assured that they will be able to repay their loan on time.On the stable grounds, Dooley spots a woman named Nicki Dixon (Stella Stevens) preparing to ride and they banter. Although Nicki clearly wants nothing to do with Dooley, Elton believes that she has a romantic interest in his friend.That night, Dooley and Elton join Lou and Stump for drinks at a local bar, and Lou suggests that Dooley seduce Nicki to get the money rather than accepting DeFranco's loan.Driving to Nicki's luxury hotel in his decrepit car and wearing his best toupée, Dooley asks the valet if the hotel has self-parking. After Nicki offers Dooley cheese fondue and champagne, she asks him to open the bottle and he awkwardly sprays her with the bubbly wine. Using the accident as an excuse to "slip into something more comfortable," Nicki leaves the room, and Dooley lights a cigarette. Nicki's dog jumps into Dooley's lap, causing him to drop his cigarette behind the couch pillows and douse the subsequent fire in the fondue sauce. Nicki returns to the living room and invites Dooley to join her in her outdoor hot tub. While Dooley changes into a borrowed bathing suit, Nicki gets into the tub holding a large knife, which she hides between the folds of a towel. Dooley, still wearing his shoes and socks, emerges with the too-tiny bathing suit briefs over his own underwear, As he starts to talk business, Nicki commands he get into the tub and tells him he resembles her first lover, a jockey named Lyle Dorf, who ruined her life by cheating on her with another woman. After spending a period of time at a sanitarium, she was unable to relocate Lyle, and now believes that he has disguised himself as Dooley. Determined to ensure "Lyle" will never again be unfaithful, she throws the knife at Dooley, pinning his toupée to the patio door.The next day, Dooley and his friends go to DeFranco's mansion where he gives the four losers an envelope containing the cash for Fusco's loan. Before they leave, DeFranco gives them a positive tip on Papa Chippy, a horse owned by Fusco that is also running in the race on Wednesday. Later, as they discuss their situation, Dooley opens the envelope to discover Fusco mistakenly gave them $5,000 extra.On the day of the big race, Stump is late picking up his friends and claims to know a shortcut to the track, but the car blows a tire, and Stump does not have a spare. They flag down a passing pickup truck and persuade the driver to take them to the track.At the track, the four men run into DeFranco and Fusco, who is accompanied by Nicki. As they leave Stump and Elton behind to place the bet, Dooley and Lou go to the stable to slip Santiago their jockey's bribe and make certain that everything will go as planned. Waiting for the race to start, Nicki tells Fusco he looks like Lyle Dorf and suggests they meet after the races, secretly hiding the knife in her purse. Dooley tells Josh, another race track attendee, about their French Majesty tip, but Josh informs him that Santiago is a fraud who rubs chili powder on the noses of small animals, suggesting that the so-called "mystery drug" will make the horses run.In a panic, Lou, Stump, and Dooley attempt to stop Elton from placing the bet, but cannot find him in time. As the race is being run, Elton desperately remembers Jelly's story of the horse's last win, and the four friends scatter in search of a red shirt. Dooley rips Nicki's scarlet dress from her back and burst onto the track waving the cloth. Dooley and Stump are arrested before they can learn the winner, but are later bailed out of jail by Lou and Elton, who say that they lost the race. One of Fusco's men threatened Elton for their debts, but when Lou tells Elton to show Dooley and Stump his bruises from the encounter, the men open their jackets to reveal thousands of dollars of winnings concealed inside.
    

Jack Weston

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