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D Tour: A Tenacious Documentary

Tenacious D

Drunk History

Princess Bride

The Brink

Kung Fu Panda


            The film centers on Rob Gordon (John Cusack), a self-confessed music geek whose flair for understanding women is over par for the course. After getting dumped by his current girlfriend, Laura (Iben Hjejle), he decides to look up some of his old flames in an attempt to figure out what he keeps doing wrong in his relationships.He spends his days at his record store, Championship Vinyl, where he holds court over the customers that drift through. Helping Rob in his task of musical elitism are Dick (Todd Louiso) and Barry (Jack Black), the "musical moron twins," as he refers to them. Dick is quiet and reserved, Barry is loud, boisterous and confrontational. Armed with an encyclopedic knowledge of all things musical, they compile "top five" lists for every conceivable occasion, openly mock the ignorance of their customers, and, every so often, sell a few records.Rob and the staff have a strong dislike for two shoplifting skateboarder teenagers, Vince (Chris Rehmann) and Justin (Ben Carr). One day, he listens to a recording that they did (actually "The Inside Game" by Royal Trux) and offers them a record deal, starting his own label called "Top 5 Records". During his off hours, he pines for his lost girlfriend Laura and does his best to win her back.Rob also finds out that Laura has taken up with an older man who lives in her building. Ian (Tim Robbins) is a flighty, hippie type who stops by the store one day to politely ask Rob to stop bothering Laura. Rob imagines three separate scenarios; one where he insults Ian and tells him to leave, another where he lunges for Ian and has to be held back by Barry and Dick and the last where all three beat him viciously, possibly killing him. In the end, Rob lets Ian say his piece and leave unharmed.Rob soon hears that Laura's father, who liked Rob, has died, and attends his funeral with Laura. Shortly after the reception, Rob realizes he never committed to Laura and always had one foot out the door. In the process, he neglected his own future. Afterward, he and Laura move back in together again, and she organizes a celebration of the recently released single by the two delinquents, where Barry's band plays "Let's Get It On" and is delightful (to everyone's surprise). In the final scene, Rob finishes his advice about making the perfect mixtape, and says that he is now making one for Laura.
    

High Fidelity

Richard Linklater: Dream Is Destiny

The Grace Helbig Show


            Long ago, Lord Shen (Gary Oldman), heir of the peacock clan that ruled Gongmen City in China, sought to harness the power of fireworks as a weapon with which to rule the entire country. When he learned from the court's goat soothsayer (Michelle Yeoh) that "a warrior of black and white" would one day defeat him, Shen assumed she was referring to the giant pandas and had them exterminated to avert the prophecy. Shen's parents were horrified at this atrocity and exiled Shen, who swore revenge.Twenty years later, Po (Jack Black) is living his dream as the Dragon Warrior, protecting the Valley of Peace alongside his friends and fellow kung fu masters, the Furious Five, but is told by Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) that he has yet to achieve inner peace. While fighting off a pack of wolf bandits who have been stealing refined metal for Lord Shen, Po is distracted by a symbol on the head wolf's (Danny McBride) armor, which causes Po to have a flashback of his mother and allows the wolves to escape. Po asks his goose father, Mr. Ping (James Hong), where he came from, but all Ping can tell him is that he found Po as an infant in a radish crate and adopted him.Afterward, Shifu receives word that Master Thundering Rhino (Victor Garber), leader of the kung fu council protecting Gongmen City, has been killed by Lord Shen with his newly developed weapon, a cannon, which threatens to destroy kung fu tradition. Po and the Five go to stop him, reaching Gongmen City to find it under the control of Shen's forces. The heroes find two imprisoned council members, Masters Storming Ox (Dennis Haysbert) and Croc (Jean-Claude Van Damme), and ask their help to liberate the city, but both masters cite their helplessness against Shen's weapon and refuse to escape. Po and the Five are then discovered by the wolf leader, who they chase to prevent him from alerting Shen, only to be captured.Upon being brought before Shen in his tower, Po and the Five free themselves and destroy Shen's cannon. However, Crane burns his wing and Po is again distracted by a flashback upon seeing the same symbol as before on Shen's plumage, allowing Shen to escape and destroy the tower with an arsenal of cannons. After escaping, Tigress (Angelina Jolie) confronts Po over his distraction. Po explains that he remembers Shen's presence on the night he was separated from his parents, and wants to question Shen about his past. Though empathetic, Tigress orders him to stay behind for his own safety. Po regardless breaks into Shen's cannon factory to confront Shen, inadvertently foiling the Five's attempts to destroy the factory. Shen claims that Po's parents abandoned him before he blasts Po out of the factory and captures the Five.Po is rescued by Shen's soothsayer, who has been exiled by Shen to the ruined village where Po was born. Guided by the soothsayer to embrace his past, Po remembers that his parents had endangered themselves to save him from Shen's forces, his mother hiding him in a crate before she was subdued. Furthermore, the Soothsayer reminds Po that despite this tragedy, he had lived a happy and fulfilling life in the Valley of Peace.Attaining inner peace, Po returns to Gongmen City to save the captive Five from being executed by Shen at the city harbor. During the ensuing battle (in which Shifu participates after having persuaded Ox and Croc to do the same), Po uses his inner peace to gauge Shen's cannon fire and redirect it against Shen's armada. He then urges Shen to let go of his own past, but Shen refuses and attacks Po until Shen inadvertently slashes the ropes holding up his last cannon, which falls and crushes him to death. Victorious, Po returns to the Valley of Peace and reunites with Mr. Ping, declaring him to be his father. At the same time, Po's biological father (Fred Tatasciore) is shown to be alive in a hidden village inhabited by surviving pandas, sensing that his son is also alive.
    

Kung Fu Panda 2


            In 1933, during the Great Depression, vaudeville actress Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) is unemployed and hungry in New York City. When she steals an apple, filmmaker Carl Denham (Jack Black) comes to her aid, producing a nickel that she "dropped" so she can pay the vendor. Carl is about to leave on a tramp steamer to finish his latest movie in Singapore, and he has been looking for an actress to replace the leading lady who has dropped out. He convinces Darrow to take the part; she's persuaded when she learns that the script is being written by her favorite playwright, Jack Driscoll. As the ship prepares to sail -- a departure Carl has hurried along because his backers have already pulled the plug on his funding -- Driscoll (Adrien Brody) stops by to drop off the script, however he hasn't finished it yet. Carl distracts Jack by writing him a check. The delay is just long enough for the ship to cast off, trapping Jack on board and assuring Carl that the now captive scriptwriter will complete his task.Denham has a map of the mysterious Skull Island, and he pays the steamer captain, Englehorn (Thomas Kretschmann), to sail to the island before going to Singapore. En route, Jack Driscoll falls in love with Darrow. Jimmy (Jamie Bell), the youngest member of the crew, is reading Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. He discusses the book with Mr. Hayes (Evan Parke), the first mate, observing at one point that "it's not an adventure story."The ship, arriving in a dense fog, actually collides with the island. Carl takes a party ashore, where they discover the ruins of an old civilization and encounter the unsettling natives. At first all they see are old women and children, so they believe themselves to be relatively safe. However, their seeming good fortune doesn't last long; one of the film crew is run through with a spear and dies on the spot. The natives grab the others and just as one of them is preparing to crush Denham's skull, Captain Englehorn and his crew show up and start shooting at the natives. The filmmakers and crew manage to escape back to the steamer, but it's still aground. While they work to free the ship, a native sneaks aboard and kidnaps Ann. Driscoll goes looking for Darrow after finding a skull charm on the deck, only to realize she had been taken. He alerts the others and they prepare to go after her. Darrow is dragged, struggling, through the water and up the rocky shore. She is carried to the top of a huge, elaborately carved rock wall at the edge of the village, adorned with a necklace made of bones and claws, and tied to a wooden framework that tilts out from the wall, carrying her across a gorge to small platform on the other side. Out of the jungle comes Kong, an enormous ape. He pulls Darrow loose and carries her away.The film crew and some of the ship's crew, led by first mate Hayes, go into the jungle to rescue Darrow. The captain gives them 24 hours. The jungle is a dangerous place and several of the rescue party die when they are attacked by dinosaurs, then by giant insects. Darrow's attempts to escape from Kong are futile, so she entertains him with dancing and gymnastics. He enjoys it so much that he won't let her stop, pushing and poking her when she tries to rest. She gets angry and Kong goes away, chastened (in part, it must be said, by a boulder that fortuitously falls on his head). Darrow, losing no time, runs in the other direction.She quickly draws the attention of a carnivorous dinosaur, which gives chase, starting a long and heart-stopping fight sequence in which every escape takes her out of the frying pan into the fire. Kong arrives as the dinosaur corners Darrow; the ape picks her up to take her out of harm's way, only to be faced with a second dinosaur. Displaying tremendous strength and determination, he fends them both off for a while one-handed; when she's knocked out of his hand, he catches her with his foot. The fight carries the four of them to the brink of a vine-festooned gorge, where Kong (never letting go of Darrow) forces first one and then the other dinosaur over the edge. But the second one clamps its jaws on his wrist as it falls, pulling Kong down with it. He finally drops Darrow, who becomes entangled in the convenient vines on way down. So, unfortunately, does one of the dinosaurs, and the pendulum motion brings it dangerously close to her every few seconds. Meanwhile Kong struggles with the other dinosaur, also tangled in the vines some distance below. Darrow eventually falls to the bottom of the gorge, landing in shallow water bordered by grassland, but one of the dinos lands nearby and comes right after her. Kong, however, catches up with it and fends it off again. As the adversaries face off after a brief tangle, Darrow stands between them and backs, reluctantly, to shelter between Kong's feet where the dinosaur can't get to her. Kong kills the dinosaur by prying open its jaws. When he departs, Darrow runs after him; he tosses her up to ride on his shoulder.Later, Kong and Darrow watch the sun set from the top of a mountain and she tells him it is beautiful as she taps her chest to convey how the beauty of it has touched her. Eventually she falls asleep in his hand as he yawns from exhaustion. When the ape falls asleep, Driscoll finds them and, after a battle with huge bats, they escape back to the ruins where the rest of the party have gathered to try to capture Kong.Upset that the woman escaped, a furious Kong pursues them back to the ruins to try to get her back. Darrow begs them to stop and to let the great ape be. When Kong gets near she pleads with him to 'just go back' but he doesn't. He continues to try to get her back. The film crew uses chloroform (supplied by the captain) to subdue him and, after a lengthy struggle, Kong is captured and taken back to New York.In New York, Kong is billed as "KING KONG: The Eighth Wonder of the World" at the Alhambra Theater, where Denham and his producers show the big ape for money. They have hired another woman to play the part of Ann Darrow in a re-enactment of the sacrifice. They reportedly had offered the real Ann lots of money to play the part but she refused. Driscoll comes to the Alhambra looking for Darrow, only to find that she isn't there. As he and Carl's assistant Preston (Colin Hanks) look on, Preston tells him that Denham was right -- there is some mystery left in the world, and everyone can have a piece of it for the price of an admission ticket. Driscoll comments that Denham can't help destroying the things he loves. When the curtain goes up, it reveals (to the gasps of the audience) a Kong who seems depressed and lethargic. He perks up a little when they bring out the woman pretending to be Ann Darrow, but he becomes agitated when he realizes she is not the real Ann. Although secured with chains, Kong is lonely for Ann and in a strange and foreign place. Confused and frightened by the crowd and the flashes of the press cameras, he easily breaks free. The audience panics and runs and Kong, who sees and remembers Driscoll, chases him from the theater and gets out into the wintry streets of New York. As passersby scream and run for cover around him, Kong picks up and discards several young blonde women, apparently looking for Ann Darrow. Working at the the De Luxe Theater, Darrow hears the police sirens and people screaming as the ape creates havoc on the streets.When Kong finally finds Darrow -- led to her by Driscoll -- he picks her up and they end up in Central Park where they have a few peaceful, blissful minutes to themselves playing on a frozen lake. Their quiet time ends when the army comes after Kong with artillery shells. Kong takes Darrow and flees to high ground, which in Manhattan means skyscrapers. He climbs to the top of the Empire State Building with her. When the air force attacks, Darrow screams to them to stop but finally the big ape -- having put Darrow safely down -- falls to his death. Around the body of Kong a large crowd has gathered when Carl Denham shows up. "The airplanes got him," says a man. "It wasn't the airplanes," replies Denham. "It was beauty killed the beast."
    

King Kong


            A rock band called No Vacancy performs at a nightclub three weeks before auditioning for the Battle of the Bands competition. Guitarist Dewey Finn (Jack Black) performs on-stage antics, including a failed stage dive that abruptly ends the band's performance. The next morning, Dewey wakes up in the apartment he lives with Ned Schneebly (Mike White) and his domineering girlfriend Patty Di Marco (Sarah Silverman). They inform him that he must make up for his share of the rent or move out. When he meets No Vacancy at a rehearsal session, he finds out that he has been replaced by another guitarist named Spider. Later, while attempting to sell some of his equipment for rent money, Dewey answers a phone call from Rosalie "Roz" Mullins (Joan Cusack), the principle of the Horace Green prep school, inquiring for Ned about a short-tern position as a substitute teacher. Needing money, Dewey impersonates Ned and is hired for the job. On his first day at the school, Dewey adopts the name "Mr. S" as he is unable to spell the name 'Schneebly', and spends his first day behaving erratically, much to the class's confusion.The following day, Dewey overhears a music class and devises a plan to form them into a new band to audition for the Battle of the Bands competition. He casts Zack Mooneyham as lead guitarist, Freddy Jones as drummer, cello player Katie on bass, Lawrence on keyboards, and himself as lead vocalist and guitarist. He assigns the rest of the class to various roles of backup singers, groupies, roadies and security, with Summer Hathaway (Miranda Cosgrove) as band manager. They project takes over normal lessons, but helps the students embrace their talents and overcome their problems. He reassures Lawrence, who feels nerdy, and is worried about not being cool enough for the rest of the band; Zach, whose overbearing father disapproves of rock and roll music; and Tomika, an overweight girl who is too self-conscious to even audition for backup singer, despite having an amazing voice. During one eloquent lesson, he teaches the children that rock and roll is the way to "Stick it to the Man" and stand up for themselves.Two weeks into his hiring, Dewey sneaks his main band members out of the school to audition for the Battle of the Bands competition, while the rest of the class remain behind to maintain cover. When Freddy wanders off to be with other much older musicians, Dewey retrieves him and chastises him for doing so. Unfortunately, the group is rejected as the bill is full. However, Hathaway comes up with a plan to deceive the organizers into thinking that the band is made up of terminally ill children. The plan works, and the band is ready to play. The next day, band groupies Michelle and Eleni, with Hathaway's approval, pitch the band name "The School of Rock". Almost immediately afterwards, Rosalie decides to check on Dewey's teaching program, forcing Dewey to teach actual material. Roz explains that a parents' night will take place at the school he day before the Battle of the Bands competition, rendering Dewey somewhat concerned.As Dewey prepares for the parents' night, Ned receives a paycheck from the school via mail and realizes that Dewey has been impersonating him. During the parents' meeting, the parents question what Finn has been teaching the children until Ned, Patty and the police confront Dewey. With Roz bursting in to question what is going on, Dewey reveals his true identity, admits he is not a licensed teacher and flees to his apartment where he and Paty later argue. Ned intervenes to break up the argument, Dewey apologizes to Ned and admits that he cannot give up music. Understanding, Ned opens up to Dewey, stating that he misses his old life being part of a rock band called Maggot Death, and explains that he chose to move on with his life after realizing that it was not becoming the career he had hoped it would be. Ned suggests that Dewey should do the same, and also move out.The next morning, the parents chastise Roz in her office. The children decide not to allow their hard work go to waste and sneak out of the school. When the new substitute discovers that they are missing, she informs Roz, who determines that they have gone to the competition. A school bus with the children comes to pick up Dewey, which takes them to the Battle of the Bands competition where they decide to play the song written by Zack. Initially dismissed as a gimmick, the band wins over the crowd. However, much to Dewey's dismay, his old band whom he was kicked out earlier No Vacancy wins. During this announcement, the audience chants "School of Rock", demanding an encore. The band retakes the stage and begins performing "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)" by AC/DC. Meanwhile, Ned, Roz and most of the childrens' parents have arrived in the audience. They are impressed and proud of Dewey and the band, much to the dismay of Patty, whom Ned breaks up with.Some time later, an after-school program known as the School of Rock has opened. We see Dewey continue to coach the students he previously played with, while Ned teaches beginner students.
    

School of Rock

Happy Happy Joy Joy: The Ren & Stimpy Story

Cup of Joe


            Master Oogway (Randall Duk Kim) is residing in the Spirit Realm. There, he is attacked by Kai (J.K. Simmons), a large yak who was Oogway's ally, but turned against him 500 years ago. Oogway sent him to the Spirit Realm, where he collected the chi of every warrior there. He beats Oogway, and takes his chi, turning him into a jade amulet which Kai wears on a belt along with the rest of the warriors. With Oogway's chi, he is able to open a portal to Earth.At the Jade Palace, Po (Jack Black), Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Crane (David Cross) order lunch at Mr. Ping's (James Hong) noodle shop, and then go back up the mountain. Po tries to get them to do a dramatic entrance into the palace, and demonstrates by moving to kick open the door, when Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) appears in front of him. Shifu does a real dramatic entrance, and then breaks the news that this will be his last day teaching, and that from now on, Po will be their teacher.Po tries to shout out commands to the team to guide them through an obstacle course, but his commands only make them crash into the obstacles and each other. Po goes to a statue of Oogway and apologizes, and Shifu pops up next to him. Po tells Shifu that he is done with teaching, and Shifu tells him that Oogway named him the Dragon Warrior because he could do more than just fight. Shifu harnesses chi energy to make a flower bloom. Po says he'll never be a good teacher like Shifu, and Shifu replies that he's not trying to turn Po into himself, rather, he's trying to turn Po into Po. Po is thoroughly confused.Kai goes through the portal and lands on a farm. He tosses his jade amulets on the ground, and they turn into warriors. He instructs them to bring him Oogway's students.Po is at home taking a bath, and he gets interrupted by Mr. Ling, his adopted father. Po tells him what happened earlier, and that he can't be a teacher. Mr. Ling tells him to take the job, and then Mr. Ling can sell noodles inside the palace. A pig pokes his head in and tells them that someone is about to beat Po's dumpling-eating record. They go downstairs, but can't see who is eating the dumplings. Once the record is broken, Po sees that it is another panda, bigger even than him. The panda introduces himself as Li Shan, (Bryan Cranston) and tells Po that he is looking for his son that he lost many years ago. Po tells him that he lost his father when he was a baby. They wish each other good luck and start to walk away. The other animals in the restaurant shake their heads.Po and Li stop and look at each other again. They notice each other's green eyes and huge bellies, and realize they're father and son. They hug each other, and Po introduces him to Mr. Ling. Po is unsure what to call them, since they're both his father. Li teaches Po the Belly Gong, where they bump bellies together, and both bellies shake. Po asks an artist to make a sketch of him and Li, but Mr. Ling puts himself in the picture. Li tells Po that there is a secret panda village where he had been living, and that he got a message from the universe that Po would be here. Po leads Li outside to show him around, and Mr. Ling sadly looks at his Po action figure.Po takes Li to the Jade Palace, and they both get winded climbing up the stairs. Po shows Li all the cool artifacts in the Hall of Heroes. Shifu and the others walk in, and Po introduces his father. Shifu asks if he will stick around to watch Po teach, but then a gong goes off, signaling that the village is under attack. They all go to the village, and find Kai's jade zombies. In battle, Po recognizes that they're fighting the great warriors of the past. The group gets the upper hand and pins down the "jombies," and they all start speaking with Kai's voice. They say that Po's chi will soon be Kai's, and then vaporize and fly away. Shifu tells them he doesn't know who Kai is.In the scroll room, Shifu finds a scroll that has information about Kai, written by Oogway. "Long ago I had a brother in arms. I was an ambitious young warrior leading a great army. And fighting by my side was Kai, my closest friend. One day we were ambushed. I was badly wounded. My friend carried me for days, looking for help. until we came upon a secret village, high in the mountains. An ancient place of healing. A village of pandas.""Pandas?" Po asks."Yes! Pandas! The pandas used the power of chi to heal me. They taught me the power to give chi. But Kai wanted the power all to himself. He saw that what could be given could also be taken.On the scroll is a picture of Kai sucking the chi from a panda."I had to stop him. Our battle shook the earth. Until finally, I banished Kai to the Spirit Realm. Should he ever return to the mortal realm, he can only be stopped by a true Master of Chi."The group huddles together to try to figure out how to get a Chi Master, until Li tells Po that he can teach him how to do it by taking him back to the panda village and teaching him how to be a true panda. Mr. Ling tries to protest, but Po tells him that he can only master chi by finding out who he really is. Mr. Ling offers to pack him a lunch before he leaves.The next morning, Li and Po head for the village, and Shifu sends Crane and Mantis to find Kai, telling them not to engage him. Po and Li are walking through the mountains and decide they should eat lunch. Po finds Mr. Ling inside his lunch sack, and Mr. Ling tells him that he stowed away in case the pandas don't have any food Po likes. They get to the palace, which is behind a giant wall of ice. Li pulls a string, and a bucket comes down. The three of them climb in and are hoisted up into the clouds. Po sees a lush green village with pandas everywhere. Li introduces Grandma Panda, the village elder, and Po's cousins, Dim and Sum. A panda named Big Fun gives Po a big hug, despite not knowing who he is. And Lei Lei, a baby panda, takes Po's Tigress action figure and plays with it. Li announces that they will have a feast in Po's honor, and all the pandas flop to the ground and start rolling downhill. "Pandas don't walk, we roll!" explained Li. The other pandas manage to avoid the rocks and logs on the hill as they roll down. Po plops down on the grass and rolls after them.The pandas dig into the food at the banquet table, and Mr. Ling hands Po his chopsticks. The other pandas look at him, confused, so he demonstrates how to eat a dumpling with chopsticks. He sees that they have all stuffed a bunch of dumplings into their mouths at once. A gong sounds, and everyone turns to look at a nearby stage. A panda named Mei Mei does a ribbon dance and flirts with Po.Crane and Mantis are searching for Kai, and they find three kung fu masters in the desert. The group finds an abandoned ship, and the masters run in to attack, despite Crane's warning not to engage. Mantis hears them scream and jumps in to help. Kai steals all of their chi, turning them into jade. Crane flies in, but he soon meets the same fate.The next day, Po finds some pandas playing with a jianzi, and he joins in and kicks it, sending it straight to Grandma Panda, conking her in the head. They quickly roll away. Li points to Dim and Sum, standing next to two trees with a hammock strung between them. They get into the hammock, and then Li pulls back the trees and launches them up the hill. Awestruck, Po does likewise. Mr. Ling tries to lure him away with food, but Po ignores him.
    

Kung Fu Panda 3

The Sheik


            A commercial depicts rapper Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) promoting his two brands -- the "Booty Sweat" energy drink and "Bust-A-Nut" candy bar -- while performing his hit song, "I Love Tha' Pussy." The first trailer shows action star Tugg Speedman's (Ben Stiller) latest film, Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown, a film so much like its five predecessors that even the trailer narrator sounds shaky about it. In another trailer, funnyman Jeff "Fatty" Portnoy (Jack Black) plays every member of "America's favorite obese family" in the highly flatulent The Fatties: Fart 2. The final trailer, for a film called Satan's Alley, features Australian "five-time Oscar winner" Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.) and Tobey Maguire (as himself) as two monks who begin an impassioned affair.We are taken, via the narration of John "Four Leaf" Tayback (Nick Nolte), into a gruesome battle of the Vietnam War. This is actually a scene from Tropic Thunder, a big-budget adaptation of Tayback's wartime memoir. Starring as the central platoon are Speedman, Lazarus, Chino and Portnoy, as well as young character actor Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel). To play the role of Sgt. Lincoln Osiris, an African American, Lazarus has dyed his skin dark and refuses to break character. ("I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.") A take of Osiris crying over Tayback's (Speedman's) blown-off hands is ruined when Speedman is unable to cry and Lazarus dribbles uncontrollably into Speedman's face. The ruined take causes great frustration for the film's director, Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan). The chaos is exacerbated when the film's pyrotechnics expert, Cody (Danny McBride), mistakes Cockburn's conniptions for a signal to set off several expensive explosions.Faux Access Hollywood clips reveal that Speedman's career has been on a downward spiral. In an attempt at Oscar-bait, Speedman had played the "retard" title character in a flop called Simple Jack, which is considered one of the worst films of all time. Meanwhile, much to the horror of Speedman's agent, Rick "Pecker" Peck (Matthew McConaughey), Speedman doesn't even have TiVO on location. Elsewhere, Cockburn is berated in a meeting, via satellite TV, by the belligerent studio head Les Grossman (Tom Cruise). With filming a month behind schedule only five days into shooting, the media has dubbed the production "the most expensive war movie never made." Cockburn tries to explain that the prima donna stars are what's dragging the production down, but Grossman is not sympathetic. Later, the real "Four-Leaf" Tayback, who has hooks for hands, takes Cockburn aside and suggests that he drop the actors in a real jungle and use Cody's explosives to inspire real fear in them. Cockburn enthusiastically agrees.Speedman, Lazarus, Chino, Portnoy and Sandusky are dropped off deep in the jungle with Cockburn, who sternly explains that he's going to use hidden cameras ("guerrilla-style") to capture real fear as they try to survive the real jungle. The actors' cell phones are destroyed by Cockburn and they're only given a map and a scene listing to guide them to the helicopter waiting to pick them up elsewhere in the jungle. As he walks away, Cockburn is blown to pieces by an old landmine. The actors, with the exception of Lazarus, are convinced that this is some of Cockburn's special effects trickery. The group is being watched by members of Flaming Dragon, a gang that manufactures and sells heroin. The Dragons believe the actors to be DEA agents and are put off to see Speedman making a gruesome display of Cockburn's severed head, , trying to convince the others that Cockburn's death is a trick. Believing the Dragons to be actors playing Vietcong, Speedman and company engage them in a gunfight (though Speedman's group is firing only blank rounds). Tayback and Cody, waiting on a nearby ridge and unaware of the real dangers below, blow a large explosive that causes the Dragons to retreat. (By coincidence, Speedman throws a prop grenade toward the Dragons almost simultaneously.) After the "fight scene," the actors march into the jungle to continue the "shoot." Tayback and Cody attempt to locate the now-deceased director. As the two argue and struggle (during which it is revealed that Tayback still has hands), they are surrounded and captured by the Dragons. In captivity, Tayback reveals to Cody that he's not really a veteran, has never left the U.S. before, and originally wrote the book as a "tribute."The actors continue their rigorous trek through the jungle. It is revealed that Portnoy is a heroin addict, but disguises the drug as candy. One night, a bat swoops down and steals Portnoy's heroin. Speedman and Lazarus clash as Speedman insists on holding the map and continuing to do scenes. The two discuss their careers, with Lazarus backhandedly complimenting Speedman on acting "like the dumbest motherfucker who ever lived" in Simple Jack, before telling him that his mistake was playing Jack as being completely mentally disabled rather than just socially impaired. He tells Speedman to "never go full retard" in the future, as the Academy rarely gives Oscars to actors who do that. Meanwhile, Chino grows angry at Lazarus for continuing to offensively "act black," as he always stays in character. After Lazarus steals the map from Speedman, Sandusky (the only one with boot camp training) looks at the map and reveals that Speedman has been leading them the wrong way. The group splits from Speedman, who insists on continuing in the wrong direction.Speedman's sanity seems to be slipping as he continues to act scenes from the film and even, much to his own distress, kills a giant panda one night, mistaking it for the enemy. Speedman is soon captured by the Dragons and taken back to their camp, which he believes is a prisoner of war camp mentioned in the Tropic Thunder script. When he is tormented by the gang's prepubescent leader Tran (Brandon Soo Hoo), Speedman stutters and is recognized as the star of Simple Jack, which turns out to be the only film the Dragons have seen, leaving them awestruck at meeting their superstar hero. They force Speedman to perform scenes from the film many times a day. Speedman even gets a toddler hanger-on, a "son" of sorts, whom he names "Half-Squat." The Dragons call Peck, Speedman's agent, and explain that they are holding Speedman for ransom. Peck brings this to to the attention of Les Grossman, who rabidly curses at the Dragon on the other end of the line. That night, Grossman learns the Dragons are heroin manufacturers and receives another call for increased ransom; Grossman tells them that they can kill Speedman. He tells Peck that they can benefit by letting the Dragons kill Speedman and collecting the insurance; he offers the torn agent a share of the profits, suggesting he can buy a G5 (Gulfstream) luxury plane.Meanwhile, among the actors, tension grows between Lazarus and Chino. Portnoy has begun to hallucinate due to his withdrawal and has to be tied to a water buffalo and then, at his own insistence, to a concrete column. Soon, Portnoy is pleading with the others to untie him. During a conversation about women "back home," Sandusky expresses envy of Lazarus because he dated Jennifer Love Hewitt. In the course of the conversation, Chino is revealed to be a closet homosexual (he is in love with someone named Lance). They soon stumble upon Flaming Dragon's heroin factory. After seeing Speedman being tortured, they plan an ambush based on the film's plot.Lazarus impersonates a farmer speaking broken Chinese who has caught Portnoy (again tied to his water buffalo) on his farm, distracting the armed guards as Chino and Sandusky sneak into the building the captives are held in. After the gang notices inconsistencies in Lazarus' story, the actors open fire on the gang, temporarily subduing them despite being armed with only blank ammunition. Portnoy kidnaps the gang's child leader Tran in order to be led to the drugs. After barely defeating the young crime lord in combat, he finds an enormous mound of heroin; however, reflecting upon his failing low-brow movie career, he rejects the heroin and uses it instead to subdue two guards. Tayback and Cody join the fighting, using Cody's flamethrower and explosives against the Dragons.However, Portnoy, Chino, and Lazarus find Speedman brainwashed. He's performing to an approving crowd several times a day and now believes he is home. Before they can snap him out of it, Lazarus breaks down, revealing his similar inner struggle with his own identity. With Chino and Sandusky's help, Lazarus drops the Sgt. Osiris character, in both make-up and accent, and becomes his white Australian self. However, even Sandusky's inspiring words cannot break Speedman's trance and they have to drag him away as they attempt to escape in Cody and Tayback's recaptured helicopter. The Dragons quickly reassemble, chasing the actors across a bridge which Cody has rigged to blow up. Speedman asks to remain behind with his "family," but quickly returns with Half-Squat (on his shoulder and stabbing him in the neck) and the murderous Dragons in pursuit. Tayback detonates the bridge just in time for Speedman to get across. Lazarus goes to rescue Speedman from the rubble. They swear friendship and Speedman is finally able to cry. However, just as they get in the helicopter with the others, Tran appears with a rocket launcher. As he shoots at the helicopter, Peck inexplicably appears with Speedman's TiVO and deflects the rocket with it.A documentary of the botched production is made from the hidden camera footage and results in a multiple-Academy-Award-winning blockbuster film. The film breaks Speedman's streak of flops and he wins the award for Best Actor, which is presented by his friend Lazarus. Along with Portnoy, Sandusky is present with Jennifer Love Hewitt on his arm and Chino attends with Lance Bass (the "Lance" mentioned earlier) on his arm. Les Grossman does a hip-hop dance in celebration of the hit.
    

Tropic Thunder


            In 1996, teenager Alex Vreeke (Mason Guccione) receives the original (and cursed) Jumanji board game after his father finds it while jogging on a beach, but puts it aside, dismissively noting that nobody plays board games anymore, instead playing a video game involving motorcycles. Overnight, the game changes so that the box's contents are now a video game cartridge, but when Alex puts it in his console and turns it on, he vanishes.Twenty years later, high school student Spencer Gilpin (Alex Wolff) is sent to detention for helping his former best friend, Anthony "Fridge" Johnson (Ser'Darius Blain), with his homework by writing Fridge's essays for him. They are joined by Bethany Walker (Madison Iseman), a beautiful girl who was caught talking on her phone during a quiz, and Martha Kaply (Morgan Turner), a socially awkward girl who objected to being made to participate in gym class. For detention, they are charged by Principal Bentley (Marc Evan Jackson) with removing the staples from discarded magazines in an old storage area, but Spencer discovers the console containing the Jumanji game and convinces the others to play it with him. They are unable to access one of the five-player options, a pilot, but once all four others have been selected, the game draws them all inside it.Finding themselves in a jungle, all four are shaken to realize that they have become the avatars they chose for the game. Spencer finds himself turned into Dr. Smolder Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson), a muscular archaeologist. Fridge arrives into the game as Franklin "Moose" Finbar (Kevin Hart), an expert zoologist, but Fridge is upset that his avatar is a foot shorter than he normally is. Martha becomes Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan), "killer of men". Bethany is now Dr. Shelly Oberon (Jack Black), a cartographer that Bethany mistook for a woman because the description read "curvy genius" (and she becomes horrified upon seeing her reflection). The four freak out as they realize they are in the game. Almost immediately, Bethany is suddenly eaten by a hippopotamus that emerges from the river, but she swiftly reappears after falling out of the sky.Fleeing from a stampede of hippos, the group encounter Nigel (Rhys Darby), whose repetitive responses help Spencer identify him as an NPC (non-player character) who tells them that they have come to Jumanji (in the context of the game) in response to a letter Nigel wrote to Spencer's avatar. The letter explains that Nigel was part of an expedition by explorer John Hardin Van Pelt (Bobby Cannavale) to claim the legendary gem, the "Jaguar's Eye", removal of the gem from the large jaguar statue granting Van Pelt control over the animals of Jumanji. In order to complete the game, the players must return the gem to the jaguar statue and call out "Jumanji".With those instructions given, the group are dropped off outside a forest, where it is revealed that Bethany alone can read the map Nigel gave them, the map directing them to the next stage of their quest. They are subsequently attacked by Van Pelt's men on motorbikes, but manage to escape by fleeing through the trees and jumping off a cliff into a river. After emerging from the river, Martha realizes that she has been shot, but returns to the group immediately after her avatar explodes. Examining a series of line tattoos on their forearms, which originally consisted of three bars where Martha and Bethany now only have two, Spencer realizes that these bars indicate the number of lives they have in the game, guessing that they will die for good, both in the game, and in the real world as well, once they lose all three lives.While traveling to the bazaar where they will receive their next clue, an argument between Spencer and Fridge over Fridge's perception of Spencer's role in this problem results in Fridge pushing Spencer off a cliff, costing him one of his lives. In the bazaar, Fridge loses one of his lives when he eats cake - previously identified as one of his character's weaknesses - and explodes, drawing the attention of Van Pelt's minions. Fortunately, before they are attacked, they discover their next clue hidden in a basket containing a snake, which the team are able to acquire by pooling their skills and coming together, allowing Spencer to catch the snake while Fridge defangs it. When Van Pelt's forces attack, Spencer attempts to fight them off, but they are soon confronted by Van Pelt himself, only just escaping when another player uses a smoke grenade as a distraction and leads them to a secret passage.The fifth playable character introduces himself as the pilot Jefferson "Seaplane" McDonough (Nick Jonas), who says his real name is Alex. He leads the gang away. Alex takes the four to a tree-house that once belonged to Alan Parrish (Robin Williams's character from the original movie). He makes margaritas for the gang, and Fridge gets drunk. Alex mentions that he has been stuck in the game for months, and he hasn't been able to get to the transportation shed to get himself out. Alex has used up two of his lives and been unable to progress further without the others due to his limited skills, but has identified the transport shed where they will acquire the means to move on. While Bethany teaches Martha in how to flirt to distract the guards, Alex's dated references lead Spencer and Fridge to realize that he is Alex Vreeke, Alex in turn, being shocked to learn that he has been trapped in the game for over twenty years. Although Alex suffers a panic attack, the team are able to gain access to the transport shed after Martha taps into her character's strength of dance combat, subsequently helping Alex recognize that they can complete the game by working together.There is a brief panic when damage to the helicopter traps it in a canyon in front of a rampaging herd of white rhinoceros, but Spencer is able to repair the damage and help them ascend. Unfortunately, they lose the gem when it falls out of Fridge's backpack, but Spencer is able to reclaim the gem after using Fridge as a 'sacrifice' to draw the rhino herd's attention, subsequently ordering Alex to spin the helicopter in time to catch Fridge as he 'respawns'. Once they land, Alex is stung by a mosquito and begins to die due to his avatar's weakness, but Bethany saves him by giving him CPR, which passes one of her remaining lives to him. As they prepare for their next step, Spencer and Martha admit that they have feelings for each other in the real world, while Bethany begins to bond with Alex.Making their way to the jaguar statue, they find themselves confronted by actual jaguar guards, which cost Spencer one of his lives when he attempts to take the gem along the path to the statue alone. With Fridge's support, Spencer implements a plan where Martha takes out Van Pelt's approaching minions while the other three provide a distraction for the jaguars, leaving Spencer to take one of the minion's motorbikes and continue to the statue. Van Pelt attempts to gain the advantage by taking Bethany hostage, but Fridge is able to drive the jaguar guards away by befriending an elephant, only for the players to lose the gem when it is thrown away. While the others distract Van Pelt's minions, Spencer takes the bike to the top of the statue while Martha retrieves the gem from a pit full of snakes, using her character's weakness to venom to sacrifice her second life and 'respawn' in a position where she can pass the gem to Spencer as she falls. With this action, Spencer places the gem in the statue and calls out "Jumanji!", ending the game and restoring the jungle to peace. With this victory, Nigel appears to congratulate the group, shaking their hands and returning them to the real world.Back in the storage room, all four detention students have returned to their true forms, but are saddened to find that Alex is not among them. As they walk home, they witness the Vreeke household - which had fallen into disrepair as Alex's parents had no answer as to his fate - has been fully restored. As a car parks outside the house to release a family, the father sees the former players and confirms that he is Alex, who emerged from the game in 1996 and changed his history, also revealing that he named his eldest daughter after Bethany.The following week at school, Spencer and Fridge are friends once again, and Bethany is making plans to go backpacking, while Spencer and Martha start dating. When they hear the drumbeats of Jumanji, they take the console out to the back of the school and Fridge drops a bowling ball onto it, each intending that this will end the game once and for all.However, at the end of the end credits, Jumanji's menacing jungle drums play once again, suggesting the game still exists in some form to play another of its dangerous games.
    

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle


            Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet), a society column editor for The Daily Telegraph in London, has been in love with Jasper Bloom (Rufus Sewell) for over three years, despite his infidelities. When she finds out that he is engaged to the "other woman," Iris begins despairing over the state of affairs in her life. Meanwhile, Amanda Woods (Cameron Diaz), a workaholic who owns a company that produces movie trailers in Los Angeles, discovers that her live-in boyfriend Ethan Ebbers (Edward Burns) has cheated on her with his 24-year-old secretary. She decides she wants to get away for the holidays. She visits a home swap website on which Iris had previously listed her "quaint cottage in Surrey. Amanda contacts Iris about her interest. Iris quickly agrees and the two agree to swap homes for two weeks.Iris revels in the luxury of Amanda's Los Angeles home, while Amanda is disappointed by the slower, quieter pace of life in Surrey. Amanda grows bored after just a few hours, and books a flight back for the next day. Later that night, Iris brother Graham (Jude Law) knocks at the door assuming Iris is home. Graham asks Amanda to let him spend the night despite the fact that he is a stranger, as he has been drinking at the pub and doesn't want to drive. They end up sleeping together.In the morning, Graham receives a number of phone calls from Sophie and Olivia, which rouses the suspicions of Amanda that Graham is a womanizer. Graham, knowing that Amanda is leaving to return home, says to Amanda that "if the flight gets cancelled, [he is] having dinner at the pub" with friends. At the airport Amanda decides to stay and goes to the pub. Graham enters the pub and looks for her but cannot see her until he meets his friends and then sees Amanda. Amanda drinks far too much that night. Graham suggests they go to lunch to get to know one another better. During lunch, Amanda shares with Graham that her parents divorced when she was fifteen and since then she has been unable to cry. Graham responds that he cries all the time: movies, books, sad stories, etc. While obviously enjoying each other's company, Amanda is worried that the relationship will become "complicated," and tries to keep Graham at arm's length.Meanwhile, Iris is enjoying the stay at Amanda's house. She meets Ethan's friend Miles (Jack Black) when he comes with his girlfriend Maggie (Shannyn Sossamon) to Amanda's house. Later, she finds an old man, Arthur Abbott (Eli Wallach) standing lost at the corner, and she escorts him home. She learns that he was a script writer during the Golden Age of Hollywood. The two become fast friends. Arthur notes that Iris' behavior toward Jasper does not match her strong personality, and he suggests movies for her to watch that include strong female characters, in hopes that she can acquire what he calls "gumption."Amanda chooses not to see Graham again but once alone in the house she has a change of heart and surprises Graham at his house. He looks extremely nervous at the door, Amanda asks Graham whether he is alone, and he says he isn't. Before she can turn away, Olivia and Sophie come to the door, revealing that they are Graham's young daughters. Amanda is shocked and asks Graham in a whisper if he is married. He says no, because his wife died two years ago. Amanda asks him why he did not reveal the existence of his daughters to her during their sharing at lunch. Graham explains that he doesn't usually tell women about them because he doesn't know how to date and be a dad. Amanda fits in beautifully, making Graham reconsider his decision to keep their relationship strictly casual.Iris finds out that the Screenwriters' Guild wants to throw a grand celebration in Arthur's honor, but he is reluctant to go for several reasons, chief among them being that he cannot walk without the assistance of his walker, and does not want to embarrass himself. Iris encourages him to go because it's a real honor, and promises to help him prepare to attend the award function with her. She undertakes an exercise program with him, determined to help him walk without his walker. During these days Jasper contacts her several times to get her to help with the book he is writing. She agrees to look over his pages, but ends up being so busy that she doesn't have time.Iris and Miles have slowly become friends, and one night go to the video store to rent some movies that Arthur had recommended. Miles sings his favorite songs from movies while he is holding the DVDs in his hand. He holds up a copy of 'The Graduate' and goes, "Uh oh...Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? - I bet you didn't know, it was all written for the movie, it was a score, technically." We see Dustin Hoffman looking at DVDs and saying, "I can't believe this... I can't go anywhere!"From the video store, Miles sees his girlfriend Maggie in the arms of another guy. He is shocked, as she told him that she would be in Santa Fe on an extended film shoot and would not be in L.A. for this Christmas Eve. He runs out of the store to find out the truth and realizes that she has betrayed him. Iris and Miles return to Amanda's house, where they discuss their tendencies to fall for people that they know are wrong for them, and they grow closer for it. They are now both single, and begin to spend more time together. But one day while Miles and Iris are eating lunch together, Maggie calls Miles and wants to see him. Miles leaves to see her, but promises to come to Arthur's award ceremony that night. Iris goes back to Amanda's, where she is shocked to find Jasper. Iris is touched at first, but then asks if he is still engaged. When he responds that he is, she finally breaks up with him for good. Meanwhile, Maggie tries in vain to convince Miles to forgive her. He realizes that Maggie was never meant for him and he can never trust her anymore. He breaks up with her and rushes to attend Arthurs award ceremony.Iris and Arthur arrive at the ceremony and are very surprised to find the hall filled with people all standing and applauding his achievements. That, plus the song that Miles wrote especially for Arthur for this moment, gives him the confidence to walk onto the stage unassisted. Miles arrives and asks Iris for a date on New Year's Eve. Iris responds that she will be back in London by then; Miles replies "I have never been to London." Iris responds that she would love to spend the evening with Miles. Meanwhile, Graham confesses his love for Amanda on the night before she is scheduled to depart. Amanda insists it is over, she is certain a long-distance relationship will never work. On her way to the airport, she cries for the first time since she was fifteen years old, and returns to the house to find Graham crying. Amanda tells him that she has decided to stay until New Year's Eve with him. Iris and Miles celebrate the New Year with Amanda and Graham and his daughters, enjoying the evening laughing and dancing together.
    

The Holiday

Jackass Forever


            The last day Portland slacker John Callahan is able to walk, he wakes up without a hangover - because he's still drunk from the night before. That night at a wild party he meets a wisecracking drinking buddy (Jack Black), who insists they leave for an even better party he knows about. But when his new friend dozes off at the wheel, John wakes up confined to a wheelchair with only partial use of his arms. Though he initially has no intention of getting sober, he reluctantly attends a 12-step meeting run by a charismatic and dedicated sponsor named Donnie (Jonah Hill) and reconnects with Annu (Rooney Mara), a therapist he met at the hospital. With their encouragement, John discovers a hidden talent for drawing, channeling his impish personality into crude, politically incorrect - and often hilarious -cartoons, which develop a national following and grant him a new lease on life.Based on a true story, this poignant, insightful, funny drama about redemption, forgiveness and the healing power of art is adapted from Callahan's autobiography and directed by two-time Oscar nominee Gus Van Sant (Milk, Good Will Hunting). The film stars Oscar nominees Joaquin Phoenix (Her, Walk the Line), Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street, Moneyball) and Rooney Mara (Carol, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), as well as Jack Black (Bernie, School of Rock), Carrie Brownstein ("Portlandia," "Transparent"), Beth Ditto and Kim Gordon.
The film is produced by Oscar winner Steve Golin (Spotlight, The Revenant), Charles-Marie Anthonioz (Spring Breakers, One More Time with Feeling), Mourad Belkeddar (Heaven Knows What, One More Time with Feeling) and Nicolas Lhermitte (Heaven Knows What, One More Time with Feeling). Executive producer is Brett Cranford (Night Moves, The Wait). Director of photography is Christopher Blauvelt (Certain Women, The Bling Ring). Production design is by Jahmin Assa (Mid '90s). Costume designer is Oscar nominee Danny Glicker (Up in the Air, Milk). Editors are David Marks and Gus Van Sant. Music is composed by Oscar nominee Danny Elfman (Milk, Good Will Hunting).
    

Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot


            When the soft-spoken, chubby-cheeked Bernhardt Tiede II arrived for his first day of work as the assistant director of the Hawthorne Funeral Home in the little rural town of Carthage, Texas, no one was sure what to think. The towns barber called him "peachy and sweet." Some men who spent their afternoons swapping stories at Leon Choate's combination barber-and-gunsmith shop just off the town square openly speculated that he might be a little light in the loafers."But it wasnt long before Bernie, who never had an unkind word to say about anyone, became one of Carthage's most beloved residents. His greatest attribute, however, was his ability to create beautiful funerals for Carthage's deceased. As one townsperson said, With Bernie doing your service, you just knew you were going to get to heaven.One afternoon Bernie organized the funeral of Rod Nugent, a rich Carthage oilman and chairman of Carthage's bank. There, he met Marjorie Nugent, the town's domineering grande dame, despised by almost everyone in Carthage for her arrogance and rude behavior. Like he did with many of the town's widows, Bernie regularly visited Mrs. Nugent after the funeral. Soon, she began asking him to run errands for her, to take her to both lunch and dinner, and act as her escort on trips. Then, in August 1997, in a story that made headlines in newspapers around the country, Mrs. Nugent was found dead, shot four times in the back, and buried under some frozen foods in the large, rectangular freezer in her garage.What made the story of Mrs. Nugent's murder so peculiar was that she had been dead for nine months before people noticed she wasn't around. (The truth was that no one really cared about looking for her because no one missed her, one resident said.) What made the story truly bizarre, however, was the announcement by police that Bernie not only had murdered Mrs. Nugent but had been using her money to give to people in need throughout Carthage. He even donated $100,000 in Mrs. Nugent's name to build a new Sunday school building at the Methodist church. Almost immediately after his arrest, even after he confessed to killing her, Carthage citizens rallied around Bernie, going so far as to drive around the courthouse blowing their horns, and begging District Attorney Davidson not to prosecute their favorite assistant funeral home director.
    

Bernie


            As a young man, Jack Black leaves his religious family and oppressive town (Kickapoo, MO) for Hollywood on a quest to form the world's most awesome rock band. There he meets acoustic guitarist Kyle Gass, who is performing on the street, and begins worshipping him as a rock god because of his skills and attitude. Kyle feeds Jack's fantasy by pretending to be famous with a self-named band ("The Kyle Gass Project"), and exploits him to do work such as cleaning his apartment and buying him weed with the promise of an audition for his fictitious band. After Jack learns Kyle is actually unemployed and living off his parents, the two become equal, and Kyle apologizes to Jack by giving him a brand-new guitar. They create their own band: Tenacious D, named for birthmarks found on their behinds. (Jack has a birthmark which says: "Tenac", and Kyle has a mark which reads: "ious D".)Soon Jack and Kyle learn the deepest secret of rock: all the rock legends used the same guitar pick, The Pick of Destiny, which has "supranatural" powers. It was created by a dark wizard from a piece of Satan's tooth, as a gift to a blacksmith who saved his life from the great demon. The pick gives its holder unnatural abilities with stringed instruments. Infatuated by the prospect of becoming the next great rock star, Jack immediately sets Tenacious D on a quest to steal the Pick of Destiny from a rock history museum. Along the way, the band briefly splits up when, invited by some coeds to perform at a party, Kyle decides that sex comes first in "sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll", while Jack wants to stick to the mission at hand. The duo is reunited after Kyle's solo performance at the party ends up in failure and Jack has a mushroom-induced hallucinogen experience in which he encounters the Sasquatch and cavorts with him through the forest (actually risking his life several times).The two manage to steal the Pick of Destiny due to incompetent (as they are high on marijuana) security at the rock museum. Armed with this supernatural pick, they plan to use the winnings from a local bar's talent contest to pay their rent, but before they can go on stage, greed overcomes them, and they fight over the pick, accidentally snapping it in half. After a pep-talk from the bar's owner, they decide they are good enough to go onto the contest without the pick, not knowing that the owner is Satan in human form, looking for his missing tooth piece. Coming back outside (deciding they can both use half of the pick), they are confronted by Satan, who is "made whole" when he places the Pick of Destiny back on his broken tooth, giving him the ability to use his supernatural powers on Earth. He threatens to take Tenacious D back to Hell.To save their lives, Tenacious D challenge Satan to a "rock-off", which he is forced to accept according to the "Demon Code." The terms of the challenge are that if Tenacious D wins, Satan must return to hell and pay their rent, while if Satan wins, he gets to take Kyle back with him. Ultimately, they lose (Kyle sings, "That was a masterpiece! / He rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man."), and Satan attempts to shoot Kyle with a bolt of energy. Jack jumps in the way, and the bolt bounces off his guitar, blowing off a piece of Satan's horn. Jack is able to exploit Satan's "incompleteness" in order to banish him with a magical incantation.The two turn Satan's horn into the "Bong of Destiny" and the movie closes with the two smoking from it as they write new songs.
    

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny


            A year after the events of the previous film, friends Spencer Gilpin, Anthony "Fridge" Johnson, Martha Kaply and Bethany Walker have graduated high school and gone their separate ways. Bethany is travelling the world performing community service, Martha has become a popular girl in college while Fridge has been working out extensively. To celebrate the holidays, they arrange a reunion at Nora's diner in Brantford, New Hampshire.Meanwhile, Spencer has encountered a rough patch in his life while attending college in New York. Unhappy with his lowly supermarket job, he has also put his long-distance relationship with Martha on hold. When he returns home, he finds his maternal grandfather Eddie sharing his room while he recovers from hip surgery. That night, as Spencer and Eddie discuss their problems, Eddie tells his grandson that college is the best time of one's life and that things are destined to go downhill as one grows older.Despairing that his life is ever going to improve, Spencer decides to re-don the persona of Dr. Smolder Bravestone within the Jumanji video game. Retrieving the broken pieces of the game which he had secretly kept, he repairs it to a barely-working condition and reactivates it.The next morning, Spencer's three friends are baffled when he fails to show up for their scheduled reunion and visit his house looking for him. There, they meet Eddie and his estranged friend Milo Walker, learning that the two men were once joint owners of Nora's and had fallen out after Milo chose to retire. While searching for Spencer, the threesome hears the dreaded drum beats of Jumanji and discover the game running in his basement. Reluctantly, they all decide to re-enter the game in order to rescue him.Upon entering the game, Martha and Fridge are shocked to find that things are different from their last adventure. While Martha has become Ruby Roundhouse once more, Fridge now occupies the body of Professor Shelly Oberon. Further complicating matters, the damaged game has inadvertently sucked in Eddie and Milo too, transforming them into Bravestone and Franklin "Mouse" Finbar respectively. Bethany is nowhere to be seen.NPC guide Nigel Billingsley arrives and gives the players their new mission: evil conqueror Jurgen the Brutal, the murderer of Bravestone's parents has stolen a gem known as the Falcon Jewel which guarantees good harvests. The four adventurers must reacquire the jewel and "show it to the sun", calling out Jumanji's name to win.After Nigel drops the players in a desert, they are attacked by a herd of ostriches, barely making an escape in an abandoned dune buggy. It quickly becomes apparent that Eddie's stubborn impulsiveness and Milo's penchant for making long-winded explanations is endangering the group. At a place known as the Oasis, the team runs into Spencer, who is now a female cat burglar named Ming Fleetfoot. Following the clues given to them, Fridge and Martha obtain a desert fruit called the Jumanji Berry while discovering a pool of green glowing water which allows them to exchange avatars.As Spencer and Milo search for camels for the group to ride, Eddie gets into a brawl with dozens of strangers. The battle draws the attention of Switchblade, a mercenary who is Bravestone's sole weakness. Using a rocket launcher, Switchblade kills all the players with a single shot, costing each one of them a life. Riding the camels to their next destination, the team is slowed down when Eddie and Milo argue about the latter's choice to retire from the restaurant business, a decision which angered the workaholic Eddie. The fight ends when Eddie crushes Milo beneath a rock.Eventually, the group arrives at the next level: a series of moving rope bridges spanning a canyon. It is not long before they encounter a horde of angry mandrills, which hound the players and attempt to hurl them off the bridges. Although Fridge is able to guide the team across using his avatar's geometry skill, they are ultimately surrounded on the other side by the vicious primates. At the last moment, they are rescued by Alex Vreeke, whom Bethany had recruited after being left behind. Playing as Jefferson "Seaplane" McDonough once more, Alex reveals that Bethany's new avatar is a black horse named Cyclone, and that the two of them had brought along winter gear for the others to wear.Eddie and Milo reconcile, with the latter explaining that he was terminally ill and wished to make amends with Eddie before he died. As the group prepares to confront Jurgen at his mountain fortress, Fridge tells everyone that the mismatched avatars have been a major liability up to this point. Upon finding a river flowing with the mysterious glowing water, they are able to restore Spencer, Fridge and Bethany to their original avatars, with Eddie and Milo becoming Ming and Cyclone respectively.Unfortunately, the two old men are captured by Jurgen's men shortly afterwards, leaving the original team of five to rescue them. Infiltrating the mountain fortress, Alex loses two of his lives trying to rescue Milo, while Fridge and Bethany pose as a pair of famous brothers Jurgen is expecting. Meanwhile, Spencer and Martha rekindle their relationship while finding and freeing Eddie.Inside the fortress, Martha battles Jurgen's goons to music while Spencer pursues the fleeing Jurgen. Confronting the conqueror aboard his zeppelin, Spencer deduces that the Jumanji Berry is Jurgen's weakness, using it to subdue and defeat the villain. Below, Cyclone is revealed to be a flying horse, which leads to Milo carrying Eddie to meet Spencer in midair. Spencer tosses the Falcon Jewel to his grandfather, who points the gem at the sun as instructed by Nigel. Their mission accomplished, the whole team cries out "Jumanji", ending the game.Nigel arrives to send the players home, but Milo expresses his wish to stay in the game. Eddie bids him farewell, understanding his motivations and thanking him for their friendship. Spencer in turn thanks his friends for coming for him, whereupon Fridge tells him not to do it again. Everyone returns safely to Spencer's basement, and Eddie changes his mind about growing old, saying to Spencer that it is in fact "a gift".Spencer and Eddie finally go to Nora's, where it is revealed that the diner's current owner is actually Nora Shepherd, the aunt of Judy and Peter and an old friend of Eddie's. Using the lessons he learned as Bravestone, Eddie begins to flirt with her, smoldering intensely as he does so.In a mid-credits scene, Spencer's mother calls in a repairman to fix the basement heater, who stumbles across the game and its console. Back at Nora's, a herd of ostriches stampedes past the diner, shocking Spencer and his friends.
    

Jumanji: The Next Level

21 Years: Richard Linklater

The Insufferable Groo


            BE KIND REWIND is the name of a quaint, little video store that carries VHS titles only because the owner (Danny Glover) can't afford to upgrade to DVD films. It's a small shop set in the middle of a crumbling, poverty stricken neighborhood, made up mostly of minorities. The film stars Jack Black as Jerry, a junkyard worker who magnetizes his brain while trying to sabotage a power plant that he thinks is responsible for his constant headaches. Rapper Mos Def plays Mike, his best friend and the only employee of the video store. The store's owner (Danny Glover) goes on 'vacation' (to spy on a huge franchise video chain), leaving Mike in charge with strict instructions not to let Jerry inside. Of course, Jerry gets in anyway and manages to 'magnetize' all of the VHS movies and wipe them clean. Soon Mike and Jerry are shooting their own versions of classic films like GHOSTBUSTERS and the RUSH HOUR movies with a camcorder, laughably bad 'special effects' and using neighborhood folks in small roles. Unexpectedly, their movie versions (which are referred to as SWEDED becuase Jerry charges 20 bucks to rent a movie, claiming that they are Swedish Imports), become so popular that the small store (facing foreclosure) is actually making money. They begin taking custom orders for movies and end up filming SWEDED versions of THE LION KING, DRIVING MISS DAISY, ROBOCOP and more. Soon, however; they attract the attention of the Feds, who inform them they are breaking the law (of course) and that they must cease and desist. What will they do to save the store now? They make an original film about the history of the city and about a 'famous' musician who was born and raised there. They charge admission and the whole neighborhood comes out to see the film, making them a small profit that still won't save the place from demolition. But a tough, city councilman has a change of heart, in the end after seeing the outpouring of neighborhood support.
    

Be Kind Rewind


            Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) is reluctantly moving from New York City to Madison, Delaware with his mother, Gale (Amy Ryan). Arriving at the new house, he is greeted by the neighbor, a beautiful girl named Hannah (Odeya Rush). Her father, R. L. Stine (Jack Black) gruffly tells him to stay on his side of the fence.In his room, Zach watches a video of the New York mayor paying tribute to his father, a fireman who was killed in the line of duty. The next day, he goes to his new school where his mom is the vice principal. At an assembly, his mom talks about tomorrow's fall dance. A kid named Champ (Ryan Lee) sits down next to Zach and awkwardly tries to chat.That night, when Zach is taking out the garbage, Hannah walks up and startles him. He says he didn't see her in school, and she tells him that she's homeschooled. She asks him to take a walk with her, and she leads him into a forest. They arrive at an abandoned theme park, and they climb up to the top of a Ferris wheel. He tells her about his father, and she says that she never knew her mother, and her dad keeps moving her from town to town.Back on the ground, they walk home, and Hannah's dad grabs her shoulder and orders her back inside. The next night, Zach hears a scream coming from Hannah's house. He runs over and is met by Mr. Stine, who tells him to go back home. He runs home and dials 911, and the police show up at Mr. Stine's door. Zach asks where Hannah is, and Mr. Stine says that she's staying in London with her mom. Another scream echoes through the house, and the cops force their way in. The scream came from the TV set. Gale apologizes and takes Zach home.That night, Gale leaves to chaperone the dance, and Zach's aunt Lorraine comes over to babysit. Zach looks into the neighbors' window, and sees the silhouette of Hannah in the house. He goes to his room, shuts the door, makes a phone call and opens the window to sneak out. Champ meets him in the driveway, and they go over to the house together. After Mr. Stine leaves, Zach jimmies the lock on the cellar door and they walk in. He finds the floor covered with bear traps. Going upstairs, he finds a study with shrunken heads, voodoo dolls and a sarcophagus. On a shelf, he sees books bound in leather with locks on the front. Champ recognizes the titles as Goosebumps books. Finding a key, Zach opens up the book "The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena." Just then, a shadowy figure swings a baseball bat at Champ's head.Zach pushes Champ out of the way at the last second, and then turns on a light. He sees Hannah standing there. She asks what he's doing in her house, but then notices the unlocked book. He picks it up to put it away, but it pops open. Suddenly, a fifteen-foot snowman appears, bounding out through a wall and running off into the forest. Hannah grabs the book and runs after the monster, with Zach and Champ running after.Following the trail of destruction, they arrive at an ice rink. They see Hannah climb in through a broken window, and they follow. They find Hannah in the middle of the ice, still holding the book. They walk out to her, and candy rains down around them. They see a vending machine flying through the air toward them, and they scatter as the machine crashes down on the ice. Hannah tells them the only way to get rid of the monster is to suck it back into the book. As the monster runs toward her, she opens up the book, and it starts to get sucked in, but then lifts an arm and swats the book out of her hands. Hannah runs toward the book, but the monster slams his fist down, causing her to lose her balance and fall. Zach grabs a hockey stick and knocks the book across the ice. Champ gets on a Zamboni, and the monster chases him. It destroys the Zamboni with one blow as Champ jumps free and slides into the penalty box. The monster turns toward the other two, but they manage to slide into the box and shut the door. The monster pounds on the Plexiglas, and it starts to crack.Mr. Stine shows up and opens the book, and the monster gets sucked in, turning into letters as it gets close to the page. He shuts the book and orders them all into the car. On the ride home, Zach goads Mr. Stine to reveal his true identity as the author of the Goosebumps series. Back at home, Hannah's dad tells her that they'll have to move again. Zach steps into the house, and Mr. Stine instinctively throws a candelabra at his head. His throw is wide, and Zach demands to know what's going on. Mr. Stine tells him that as a child, he had severe allergies that kept him indoors, and the neighborhood kids would taunt him and throw rocks at his window. He made up monsters that would terrorize the other kids, and one day they became real, leaping off the page. He says they're safe as long as the books stay locked. He and Hannah grab the books, and Zach finds "Night of the Living Dummy" on the floor with a broken lock.They hear laughter, and see a living dummy named Slappy (Avery L Jones) sitting in the chair. Mr. Stine approaches Slappy with the book, but Slappy lights a match and sets the pages on fire. Slappy leaves the house with the rest of the books. Going to the kitchen, they find lawn gnomes popping out from everywhere. A gnome tosses a knife that just misses Zach's head. Another group of gnomes ties up Mr. Stine, and drag him toward the oven, which they have turned on. Frantically, the kids smash all of the gnomes, thinking they have won. But then, the pieces of porcelain fly back together.They run through the basement, dodging the bear traps. The gnomes follow, but fall into the traps and get shattered. The group runs out, locking the door behind them. Outside, they find a pile of burned books. They drive around town looking for Slappy, finding only destruction everywhere. There's a thump on the hood of the car, and a tiny hand print appears on the windshield. The Invisible Boy climbs up to the roof, reaches in and grabs Champ. He lifts Champ up and starts slapping him. Mr. Stine hits the brakes, and Invisible Boy flies off the car. Driving onto Main Street, they find people frozen into statues. Zach tells Mr. Stine that if he wrote the monsters into life, he could write them out with a story where they were all captured. Mr. Stine says he can only write a story on his personal typewriter, or else it won't work. The typewriter is in a display case at the school. On the ride, Zach tries to talk to Hannah, but Mr. Stine puts his hand between them. Distracted, Mr. Stine doesn't see the people in the road, and runs into them and through them. They were ghosts. He drives into the leg of a giant praying mantis.Speeding off with the mantis in pursuit, he drives into a supermarket parking lot and crashes into a parked car. The group runs into the store as the mantis smashes the car. Hannah tells them they can get to the school by cutting across a cemetery. They grab some chips and soda, and Hannah sees that Zach has a cut on his forehead. She dabs it with antiseptic. In the meat section, they see a werewolf gnawing on a steak. They try to sneak by, but the wolf hears them and starts running their way.They all split up, and the wolf chases Mr. Stine. In the pets section, Zach finds a rubber steak and tosses it across the store. The wolf charges after it, and the group runs for the exit. The wolf sees them and resumes chase. Zach turns over a mop bucket, and the wolf slips and slides as they run out the door, slamming it shut behind them. The wolf breaks down the door, and the group finds themselves trapped in the back parking lot, with the wolf rapidly closing distance.Suddenly, they see headlights, and a car rams the wolf, knocking it into a brick wall. Aunt Lorraine pops her head out. Zach tells her to go to the police station and have the cops meet them at the school. At the station, Lorraine finds only Slappy, and some aliens pop out and shoot her with a freeze-ray gun. The group walks across the cemetery, and Hannah gets her jacket tangled in the fingers of a statue. Zach helps her get free, but when the moonlight hits her, she starts to fade away. Zach realizes she's not a real person, just another character Mr. Stine created. Suddenly, a hand reaches out from the grave and grabs his ankle.Zach gets himself free from the grip of a graveyard ghoul, but more pop out from the ground and give chase. The group runs to the back gate, and the kids get through. The ghouls grab Mr. Stine and pull him back, and the kids grab his arms. A tug-of-war ensues, and Mr. Stine kicks the ghouls in the face, causing them to let go. Making it to the school, the group sees kids dancing, and they look through the cases for the typewriter. Stine finds it, and tells the kids to warn the other students to barricade the doors while he writes. At the football field, Slappy gathers the monsters he already set free, and then unleashes the rest, saving one for the perfect time.At the dance, Zach gets on the microphone and tells everyone there are monsters outside, and they have to lock the doors. At first, nobody takes him seriously, but when they look out, they see the mantis squashing cars in the parking lot. Everyone panics, but Zach tells them they need to barricade the school. He tells them to grab anything that can be used as a weapon. They grab mops and buckets, and various sports equipment. Then they put desks in front of the gym doors. Tiny robots with laser eyes break through, and twelve-foot scarecrows punch holes in the windows.Stine furiously types out a story, and Slappy approaches. Slappy tells him that they share a consciousness since they are really the same person. Slappy says that if he stops, Slappy will let him live. When he refuses, Slappy slams the lid on his hands, breaking his fingers.The kids find Stine, and they grab the typewriter and run into the storage room with the rest of the students and lock the door. The monsters bang on the windows. Stine sees a line of buses, and he says that if he can drive off in one, he'll lead the monsters away. Zach sees a tackling dummy in the corner and gets an idea. A bus drives off, and Slappy tells the monsters to kill Stine. The mantis catches up to the bus and kicks it across the road, causing it to crumple in a heap. The monsters approach the bus, and find only the tackling dummy inside. A ghoul sees a thread on the outside of the bus and pulls on it, causing the bus to explode.Stine drives the kids away in another bus, dictating to Zach what to write. Stine knows that Slappy will find him wherever he goes, since they share thoughts. He tells them he needs to go to a place he's never seen before, to buy time before Slappy can find them. Hannah tells him to go to the abandoned amusement park. They all hide in a funhouse, with Zach typing as fast as he can. Slappy finds them, and unleashes the last monster.The Blob pops out of the pages, and the group runs for the exit. Outside, the monster army is waiting for them, and the kids run to the Ferris wheel. Stine tells Zach that he can finish the book on his own. The kids climb up the Ferris wheel as the Blob eats Stine with one gulp. Hannah cries out, but Champ sees that he's still alive inside the body. The monster army starts climbing the Ferris wheel. Zach types out, "As the monsters converged, Zach closed his eyes, opened the book, and the monsters were swallowed back into the world of paper and ink, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. THE END!" The mantis gnaws at the bolts of the wheel, and it rolls off the base and sends them crashing to the ground. The kids crawl out of the seat, and Hannah tells Zach to open up the book. Zach realizes that Hannah will also disappear. Zach grabs it and opens it up, causing all of the monsters to get sucked in. He grabs and holds Hannah as her body loses substance. As the Blob gets dragged along, Stine is able to free himself, but Slappy grabs onto him, trying not to fall into the book. Stine kicks Slappy, causing him to land in the center of the vortex. Hannah kisses Zach before getting drawn into the book. Champ shuts it, and the wind dies down.Months later, the town is rebuilt, and the school reopens. Zach is now the most popular kid in class. He and Champ go into English class together, and a new teacher introduces himself. "Hello, my name is R. L. Stine," he says, noting that their regular teacher was still recovering from an attack by a mutant insect. Zach tells him that he really misses Hannah, and Stine tells him that she's still alive in their minds and hearts, and also down the hallway. Stine tells Zach that he might have written one more book. Hannah hugs Zach as Stine burns the book.Stine finds his typewriter, and sees the keys move on their own, and on the paper appears, "The Invisible Boy's Revenge." He sees his scared reflection in a glass window, and next to it, a tiny hand print.
    

Goosebumps

Take Two with Phineas and Ferb


            Brad Harris (Jack Black) wants to become the greatest birder by winning the Big Year, a birding contest (not a photography contest). Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson) is the current Big Year record holder, and other challengers abound, including Stu Preissler (Steve Martin), a retiring executive. Stu's family supports him, but Brad's father (Brian Dennehy) is not keen.The contestants travel all over North America (not the world), trying to see (or hear) the most birds. Bostick connives to throw others off, and Stu and Brad form an alliance. Stu's ex-coworkers try to get him back for a big deal, and Bostick's wife (Rosamund Pike) redecorates their house. They all hear of a storm, which will blow birds inland, and head to Houston. No one wants to admit they're chasing a Big Year, but they eventually find out about each other.Brad and Stu continue with their personal lives, but Kenny devotes all his time to birding. Brad's father begins to understand his passion. Stu and Brad begin to use Stu's resources to find birds, and Brad's father finds time to help his son.Even though Kenny wins the Big Year, Stu and Brad realize they've won more - friendship.
    

The Big Year

Orange County


            Steven Kovacs has just moved into a new apartment after his girlfriend kicked him out. While waiting for the cable guy to arrive, a friend suggests that Steven slip the man $50 as a bribe to receive all the pay channels for free.Finally, Chip Douglas, the cable guy, shows up. He is very strange but obviously an expert cable installer. Chip tries to strike up a personal conversation with Steven, who is uninterested. Before Chip leaves, Steven nervously offers him $50 for free cable. At first Chip acts furious, but then bursts into laughter, happily declaring "I'll juice you up." Steven is very thankful, but then Chip asks Steven to visit the cable company satellite with him. Steven tries to politely say no, but Chip insists.The next day, we see Steven at work. He's an architect with a boss who is a huge jerk. Later that day, Chip shows up at Steven's apartment and the two go to the satellite. They have a heart to heart talk, ending with Chip giving Steven useful advice (originally from The Jerry Springer Show) on how to get his girlfriend back. Steven meets Robin, his estranged girlfriend, the next day. He takes Chip's advice and invites her over to watch Sleepless In Seattle. Steven goes to the gym to play basketball with some friends, and Chip awkwardly shows up. Chip inserts himself into the game, and plays in a very aggressive manner, knocking down other plays and eventually breaking the basketball board. Steven is obviously mad at Chip and walks off.Steven returns home for his date with Robin only to find that Chip has left a huge number of messages on his machine. Robin arrives and the two chat about how much Steven hates his boss before turning on the TV. The TV is blank, so Steven calls the "preferred customer" number that Chip gave him earlier. After one ring, he hears a knock at his door. He opens it to find Chip with a severed cable wire in hand, angry that Steven wouldn't get back to him. Steven promises to hang out with Chip the next day if Chip will turn his cable back on. Chip does so, gives more advice about Robin, and leaves.The next evening Chip takes Steven to Medieval Times, a restaurant where the patrons watch knights engage in mock battle. Throughout dinner, Steven politely tries to break off his friendship with Chip, but the two are suddenly called into the fighting pit. Chip confesses that he gave all of the knights free cable and that they are allowing him to bring Steven out to fight one another. As both men are fit with armor and weapons, Steven asks if they're just going to mock fight, but Chip seems deadly serious about their upcoming battle. The two begin to fight, with Chip knocking his opponent around until Steven gets angry and launches into him. The crowd goes wild, but Chip frequently takes dangerous swings at Steven, eventually knocking him down. Both men are put on horses and made to joust, with Steven blasting Chip off his horse. Steven gets off to see if Chip is okay, and Chip giddily declares that they will meet again before holding Steven's hand up in celebration of his victory.The two go back to Steven's place. Steven now seems happy with his odd new friend. He then sees that Chip broke into his apartment and placed a big screen TV with massive speakers in his living room. Steven tells Chip that he appreciates the gesture but that he has to take everything back. Chip says that he will, but that they should have a karaoke party first. Steven agrees.The next evening, there is a big party at Steven's house, mostly with Chip's "preferred customers," who happen to be a mixture of old men, weidos, and even two police officers. Steven talks to Robin on the phone, who is going out on a date with another man. Steven is upset, but Chip comforts him. Steven then gives Chip a small gift, a speech thearpy tape designed to help Chip's lisp. Chip is very moved.Steven notices a gorgeous woman at the party, and Chip insists that Steven talk to her. As Chip sings a karaoke song, Steven and the woman begin making out. Chip playfully takes a picture before leaving Steven and Heather alone.The next morning, Chip is cooking eggs and Steven wakes up. He is thrilled with the night before, and the two begin to eat breakfast. Chip says "it was my treat." When Steven asks what he means, Chip says that the woman was a prostitute that he bought for his lovelorn friend. Steven is horrified and kicks an apologetic Chip out of his apartment.The next day we see Chip at a restaurant, wearing a big fake mustache that alters his appearence. Robin is on a date with a total jerk. Chip poses as a restroom attendant, and when Robin's date comes to the restroom, Chip beats him within an inch of his life, telling him to stay away from Robin. Later, Chip shows up at Robin's apartment, claiming that Steven has paid to upgrade her cable. After upgrading it, Chip tells Robin that the two are best friends, and tells her that Steven loves her very much and wants her back. She is very moved by this, and calls Steven to thank him. Steven realizes what has happened but takes credit for the cable upgrade. Steven runs into Chip on the way home, who tells him that this was his way of making the incident with the prostitute up to him. Steven tells Chip that although his intentions are good, he does not want to be friends with him. Chip is crushed.The next day, Steven is at work, only to find himself arrested by the two "preferred customer" cops that were at his party the other evening. The charge is accepting stolen goods, which turns out to be the TV system Chip put in his apartment. Steven tells his lawyer the story, but the lawyer responds that no one named Chip Douglas works for the cable company. Chip comes to visist Steven in jail, where Chip tells him his name is really Larry Tate. He tells Steven that they could have been best friends, but now they are worst enemies.Steven is released from jail and goes back to work, only to find that a video of him telling Robin how much he hates his boss is circulating throughout the office. Steven is fired, and harassed by Chip on the way to his car. At home, he finds a hidden camera planted underneath his table.Steven takes Robin to dinner at his parent's house, only to find Chip at the door. Steven threatens to call the police on Chip, but Chip shows him a copy of the picture of him with the prostitute. Chip tells Steven to relax and have a good time. At dinner, Chip tells the story of the Medieval Times show, only reveresing their positions so that Steven sounds like the aggressive maniac.After dinner, Chip encourages everyone to play "Porno Password," an adult verison of the TV game show. Tensions are high, and Steven eventually snaps, punching Chip in the face. Chip leaves, and everyone is angry with Steven.Steven talks to his friend that originally suggested he bribe Chip. The friend does background checks and figures out that Chip's names (such as Larry Tate) are all actually classic TV characters. Chip was fired for stalking customers.Steven gets a call from Chip, who appears to be getting ever more crazy. Chip tells him that he and Robin are going to hang out. Steven is terrified, and races to Robin's house. Robin's landlady tells Steven that she overheard them saying they were going to the cable satellite.At the satellite, Chip explains how the satellite works to Robin, his creepy demeanor beginning to scare her. Steven arrives shortly afterwards to find that Robin has been tied up. A rainstorm pours down as Chip and Steven fight. Steven gets in some good blows, but Chip knocks him out.When he wakes, the storm has calmed down. Chip has taken Robin to the top of the satellite. Steven climbs up and asks Chip to let Robin go. Chip breaks down, telling Steven that he is sorry he screwed up their friendship. Chip curses his mother for never paying attention to him as a child and letting him get so screwed up. Chip looks down and decides to kill himself by throwing his body into the center of the satellite, blowing out the cable. Steven grabs Chip's arm as he jumps, trying to save him, but Chip just smiles and lets go.Meanwhile, the result of a major celebrity murder trial is seconds away from being broadcast. As the whole world watches, Chip's body hits the satellite, cutting out the cable before the verdict is read. Chip, however, has survived the fall. An emergency helicopter is taking Chip away. Steven asks Chip his name one last time, to which Chip replies "Ricky. Ricky Ricardo." The helicopter takes off while Steven and Robin kiss. In the helicopter, the EMT tells Chip "You're gonna make it, buddy." Chip asks "Am I really your buddy?" The EMT shrugs and says "Yeah, sure you are." Chip gives a devious smile and the film cuts to black.
    

The Cable Guy


            In 1955, ten-year-old Lewis Barnavelt (Owen Vaccaro) goes to New Zebedee, Michigan to live with his uncle Jonathan (Jack Black) after Lewis' parents are killed in a car crash. Upon arriving at Jonathan's home, Lewis meets Jonathan's neighbor and best friend, Florence Zimmerman (Cate Blanchett), with whom he trades playful insults. All Lewis has left of his parents is a Magic 8-Ball that they gave him before the crash.Lewis tries to sleep that night, only to be kept up by what sounds like a faint ticking noise and notices Jonathan trying to find it. On his first day of his new school, he meets Tarby Corrigan (Sunny Suljic), who is being friendly with him just so he can get voted class president. The other kids think Lewis is weird for wearing goggles, which he based off his favorite TV hero, Captain Midnight. At night, Lewis thinks he is dreaming seeing his mother (Lorenza Izzo) who tells him that Jonathan is hiding something from him and that the ticking sound he hears is real. Mrs. Barnavelt also tells Lewis that he must find a book and then a key.Lewis then gets up and goes around the house in the dark and finds several creepy-looking dolls and Jonathan smashing a wall with an ax. Lewis runs away freaked out and sees the windows, piano, and a "pet chair" named Chairy among other things coming to life. Jonathan is then forced to explain himself and tell Lewis the truth about magic being involved in the house. He reveals to Lewis that he is a practicing warlock and that Florence is a witch. The house's previous owner is a sinister warlock named Isaac Izard (Kyle MacLachlan) and his equally wicked wife Selena (Renee Elise Goldsberry). Before Isaac died the previous year, he left a clock in the house and Jonathan has been trying to find it and discover what it is meant to do. At Lewis's request, Jonathan decides to teach him how to be a warlock.Lewis learns that, in order to be a legitimate warlock, he must fight an evil spirit using his own magic. Jonathan lets Lewis know that he has only one rule: never open a cabinet that he has locked.Jonathan looks through an old book with clippings of Isaac when he was a famous illusionist, as well of pictures of him during World War II. Jonathan reveals to Florence that he has not told Lewis everything about Isaac and plans on continuing to lie to the boy.Jonathan and Florence gets Lewis ready for his first ever spell. When he reads off the spells from the books, it doesn't work because they tell Lewis he needs to use his own brand of magic for it to work. After a night of learning magic, Lewis asks Jonathan why he left home. He says he considered himself the "black swan" of the family as his father did not agree with magic, so he left and he felt that Lewis' mother would not have wanted him at her funeral.Lewis continues to practice his magic, even at school, which is noticed by a curious girl named Rose Rita Pottinger (Vanessa Anne Williams). Jonathan later discovers an old picture of Isaac and Selena with a gnome statue in it that was missing an arm, but now has one built. Jonathan pulls on the arm, which opens up a secret entrance that leads him into a room where he finds the blueprints for the clock.Tarby wins class president and then stops acting like Lewis' friend. Lewis tries to invite him over to show him magic to keep him interested, but Tarby opens Jonathan's restricted cabinet. There, Lewis spots the book that his mother had mentioned to him, and Tarby takes it out to open the first page that has a spell for necromancy. Lewis takes the book back and puts it away, leading Tarby to go home and says Lewis is just a "weird kid".Jonathan and Florence look over the blueprints and they are both stumped on how to decipher it. She notices an omega symbol with a skull, which Isaac mentioned before he died. They also realize it was, in early Christianity, a symbol for Judgment Day.Lewis is once again visited by his mother in a dream. He laments that Tarby doesn't see him as a friend, so Mrs. Barnavelt suggests that he use a spell from the forbidden book to make Tarby want to be his friend. He invites Tarby to join him so that they can raise the dead. Later that night, Lewis and Tarby find a tomb and Lewis starts to read from the spell book. The tomb opens and Tarby runs away. Unknowingly, Lewis has just resurrected Isaac Izard.Jonathan and Florence realize that Isaac is back and all of their magic stopped working. They know their magic isn't strong enough to face him yet, so they start to nail horseshoes to the house to keep Isaac away. Lewis tries to confess what he did, but Jonathan and Florence vow to make the one who resurrected Isaac pay. Jonathan sends Lewis to stay with Florence for a few days.In Florence's home, Lewis notices a poster advertising Isaac and Jonathan as a magician duo. Florence shows Lewis a series of flashbacks that showed Isaac and Jonathan performing as magicians together until Isaac went MIA during World War II. Isaac later returned home, but was suffering from PTSD. He mentioned being in The Black Forest, which is known for harboring dark magic, and Florence thinks Isaac made a deal with a dark warlock there in exchange for the powers he later possessed. He also later married the spiteful and wicked Selena. Florence then explains how Isaac performed the dark magic ritual to make a key for the clock, which is believed to have been made from Selena's finger bone. When Lewis asks Florence why she can't help stop Isaac, she takes a look at a picture of her deceased husband and daughter. She states that because of her pain, she hasn't been able to work the same magic that she used to.When Lewis tries to warn Tarby about Isaac, Tarby punches him in the stomach and orders him to keep quiet or he'll break Lewis's arms. Lewis goes back home to find the blueprints so he can help out, but he is attacked by flying books. He gets out as Jonathan and Florence arrive to help him. He tells the two that he can read the blueprints, but he needs ovaltine. They go to a nearby candy store where Lewis uses a bunch of chocolate powder to try and decipher the markings on the blueprints. They soon discover that the clock is a doomsday device that will reverse time all the way to the beginning.The three return home to find the horseshoes have been pulled off the walls, meaning Isaac was there. They enter the house to find it ransacked. Jonathan and Florence decide to destroy the key, but it won't dissolve in the acid they dip it in. Lewis then confesses to resurrecting Isaac just to impress Tarby and also because he thought that if the spell worked, he could see his parents again. Feeling betrayed, Jonathan decides he wants to send Lewis away for disobeying him. Lewis runs away crying and Florence tells Jonathan that he is being a coward for trying to avoid responsibility for the boy.Lewis notices Issac in the house of Jonathan's neighbor Mrs. Hanchett (Colleen Camp). Lewis brings her to the house, but before Lewis can find Jonathan, Isaac emerges. He then reveals that Mrs. Hanchett is really Selena in disguise and that she killed the real Mrs. Hanchett, took her place, and that the key was made from her bones. Selena also reveals that she was taking the form of Mrs. Barnavelt to persuade Lewis into doing her bidding to bring Isaac back.Isaac captures Lewis, followed by Jonathan and Florence. He explains to them that because of the horrors he saw in the war, he wanted to completely forget what he saw. He met a demon named Azazel in The Black Forest and he granted Isaac the power to make his wish come true. Issac reveals that the clock will turn time back so that humanity never existed and uses the creepy dolls and killer pumpkins to send the three away.Jonathan apologizes to Lewis for how he talked to him and they all plan to go back and stop Isaac and Selena. Lewis uses the Magic 8-Ball to learn that the location of the clock is under the boiler room. Using all their wits and magic, the three go back to destroy the pumpkins and dolls to find the clock.Florence gets taken by Jonathan's mutated snake named Snakespeare, leaving Lewis and Jonathan to face the villains on their own. Isaac awaits as the lunar eclipse is setting, which will activate the clock's power. He and Selena are protected from the clock's effects. Lewis and Jonathan try to fight back, but Jonathan is morphed into a weird baby that still has his adult head. The eclipse happens, and people around town start to de-age to children. Lewis consults the Magic 8-Ball to know what to do and it says "Say goodbye". Lewis realizes he has to let go of his pain from losing his parents to harness his true power. He drops the ball into the clock's gears to slow it down, which makes Isaac and Selena leave their protected post. Using his own magic, Lewis zaps Isaac and Selena, causing them to fall, de-age, and ultimately be erased from existence. Everything goes back to normal as Florence reveals that she has fixed Snakespeare and Lewis offers her to be part of his new family.Lewis goes back to school with more confidence. Tarby and his friend refuse to pick Lewis for sports, so Lewis shows off a little bit of magic by making a basketball bounce off Tarby and his friend's faces to sink it into the net. Even though everyone now wants Lewis on their team, he instead hangs out with Rose Rita.Jonathan then picks him up from school where they go home with Florence as the three of them are now like a regular family.
    

The House with a Clock in Its Walls


            Hal Larson (Jack Black), a superficial man and his equally-shallow friend Mauricio Wilson (Jason Alexander) both share an interest in beautiful women, and try to act cool and hip when around them, but most women interpret their wild dance moves as obnoxious and want nothing to do with them. At work, Hal's co-workers accuse him of being shallow and caring about nothing but physical appearance, and ask him "when he's gonna get it." Hal wants to see women for their inner beauty, but his appreciation of physical beauty gets in the way. While going to work one day, by an unexpected twist of fate, Hal meets the famous American life coach Tony Robbins while stuck in an elevator, and has a talk with him about himself and Tony. Robbins, understanding Hal's situation, hypnotizes him into seeing people's inner beauty, not their external selves. Subsequently he falls in love with Rosemary (Gwyneth Paltrow), a woman who appears to him to look slender and beautiful due to her kind, generous nature, but is, in actuality, morbidly obese. At first, she accuses him of being childish, because she thinks he's pretending to date her, but later realises his feelings for her are genuine.His concerned friend Mauricio is worried about Hal's new taste in women, especially when he finds Hal dancing with a fat woman, thinking he's gone crazy. Mauricio believes what Robbins did to him was deceitful and wrong, and he talks to Robbins. One night, while Hal is on a date, Mauricio catches him after having confronted Robbins and says the trigger phrase,"Shallow Hal wants a gal", to break Hal's hypnosis. Discovering that his own sight had misled him, Hal, with Mauricio's assistance, begins to avoid Rosemary, whom he initially fails to recognize. She becomes melancholic without him around. Still distraught, Hal decides to get to know his neighbor, Jill, and the two get together at a restaurant and have a nice chat. Rosemary, suspicious of Hal's staying away, goes to the same restaurant where Hal and his friend are. Making assumptions about his relationship with Jill, she calls him a 'psycho' over the phone, which depresses Hal greatly. The day after, he meets a girl at a hospital where Rosemary works. Previously, due to Robbins' hypnosis, he saw her as a perfect looking little girl, he is now seeing her as a pretty little girl with severe burn marks on her face. This experience clarifies that he doesn't need hypnosis to see people's true inner beauty. Meanwhile, Rosemary decides to leave the country to re-join the Peace Corps. During his search for Rosemary to tell her the truth, he finds that Mauricio himself has his own reason for stopping Hal's hypnosis: he has a vestigial tail which has prevented him from ever getting close to a woman, and he was jealous that his friend found someone with whom he was happy. Hal eventually makes up with Mauricio, comes to terms with his feelings and his true love for Rosemary and decides to talk to her again. He arrives at his destination, the backyard of the Shanahans' mansion, where he makes up with Rosemary. He discovers she still loves him and decides to accompany her on her trip.
    

Shallow Hal

The Polka King


            Ignácio (Jack Black) is a young orphan boy dreaming of becoming the world's greatest luchador (Spanish wrestler) and decides to test his fighting skills in a monastary graveyard. He is discovered by monks and is taken to be cleansed and made into the orphanage chef. This does not bode well for young Ignácio, but he does his duty and continues to do so even after fifteen years, although not entirely successfully..As an adult, Ignácio still dreams of becoming the ultimate luchador, but has been taught that wrestling is a sin. To make matters worse, he meets his soul mate, a nun, Sister Encarnación (Ana de la Reguera) who has been hired as the orphans' teacher. He is smitten with her, but knows the relationship will never work for they both have take an oath of celibacy.
Nevertheless, he goes to speak with her and invites her to have toast with him in
his quarters, but is interrupted by the lead monk (Eduardo Gómez) who tells him to visit a man sick with influenza. Ignácio reluctantly obeys.Upon arriving at the man's house, Ignácio meets the man's wife, but sees that the man is apparently dead. He begins to give a eulogy, but as he does so, the man awakes from a deep sleep. This terrifies Ignácio and he leaves to take care of other duties. As he travels through the village on his trademark chariot (a motorized chariot-like shopping cart), he stops at a local eatery to pick up the free chips that the restaurant's owner leaves each day for the orphans. He is unexpectedly attacked by an extremely skinny street urchin (Hector Jiménez), who steals the chips and leaves Ignácio bruised and disgraced.That night, on the way back to the orphanage, Ignácio witnesses a luchador, the great Ramses (Cesar Gonzalez), being adored and worshipped by his many fans. Ignácio finds out that a tag-team tournament will be offered to new luchadors, and this grabs the attention of our dismayed hero.Ignácio and Encarnacion later enjoy toast in Ignácio's quarters and he sheds some light on his past. He then goes on to tell Encarnacion of his feelings about the monastary, and tells her of the luchador he encountered in the village. She tells him that luchadors are false idols, and to be patient, for his passion to fight should soon pass away.The next day, the monks complain about the missing chips. Ignácio tries to explain the situation, but his efforts fall on deaf ears. Angered, Ignácio leaves the monastary and heads to the village with a handful of leftover chips. He throws them into the alleyway where he was previously attacked. He waits behind a wall for the homeless assailant to pounce. He almost succeeds in sneaking up on him, but gives himself away when he breaks wind. He tackles the man and they begin to fight. During the fight, Ignácio asks the man if he would join him in the tournament. At first, Steven, the homeless man, ignores the proposition, but after hearing that there is a grand prize of two hundred pesos, he decides to team up with Ignácio. They make two makeshift luchador uniforms out of stolen items, train themselves with unusual methods, and then enter into the tournament.Ignácio and Steven now go by the names Nacho and Esqueleto (Nacho is a nickname for Ignácio; Esqueleto means "skeleton" in Spanish which suits malnourished Steven perfectly),
and face their first two opponents, El Semental (Ignácio Camarena) and El Pony (Carlos Barroso). Esqueleto is struck down by El Semental, but Nacho gives El Pony a run for his money.
At one point, it seems that Nacho and Esqueleto are nearing victory, until Nacho is knocked unconcious by El Semental.Although they failed to win the tournament, Nacho and Esqueleto are given a well-portioned
consolation prize. Nacho spends his part of the winnings on better food for the orphans' meals, and begins to draw out plans for a new uniform, a baby-blue and red one. Luckily, Steven has a knowledge of sewing and helps Ignácio create their new outfits. Chancho (Darius Rose), an orphan child, catches Nacho trying on his outfit in the monastary, but promises to never tell a soul.As Nacho and Esqueleto prepare for their next fight, Nacho hassles Esqueleto about his beliefs
in science, and not in the Lord. He unofficially baptizes him, and then they head on to the fight.
This time, they are pitted against two midget wrestlers known as Satan's Cavemen (Agustin Rey
and Ricardo Castillo). Although they are small, they prove worthy adversaries for our heroes,
and after a struggle they defeat Nacho and Esqueleto. Once again, however, the duo are paid a hefty consolation prize.This time they spend their cash polishing up their physical appearances. Ignácio buys new clothes and boots, and Steven gets a pedicure and a charicature. Ignácio tells Steven about his feelings for Encarnacion, and Steven concocts a plan. He proposes that Nacho should take Encarnacion on a date, and that he would show up with some of his hobo buddies to beat Nacho up, but that they would let him win. Ignácio likes the sound of this idea.That night, Ignácio takes Encarnacion out, by telling her that he wants both of them to minister
to a bum he claims he saw previously. Once they get there, Nacho says a few cheesy lines,
but then notices two gentlemen walking down the street. Thinking that they are Steven's friends, he challenges them to a fight. They ignore him, but he runs up to the two men and
rips one of the mens' jackets. They turn and face Ignácio, but he is already in his fighting position. However, he hears Steven's voice far off and sees him with his real hobo friends.
This distracts Nacho, giving the two men enough time to sucker-punch Ignácio, knocking him
unconscious.The next day, Nacho is humiliated and expresses his anger at Steven for being late. Steven feels
bad for Ignácio, and tells him about a secret water gypsy who uses magical eagle eggs to grant
peoples' desires. Nacho sees this as an opportunity to gain power as a luchador and the two
embark on a journey to see the gypsy. When they arrive, they sail over to a cliff in the water where
an eagle's nest is precariously perched. The gypsy tells Nacho to climb the cliff and to eat one of the eggs, and that this will give him the strength he needs. Ignácio makes the strenuous and difficult climb to the cliff's peak, and cracks open an egg and swallows the yolk inside. He then dives off the cliff into the sea below.Contrary to the gypsy's promises, Nacho and Esqueleto's next fights against the luchadors Paradise (Albert Madrid), Sage (Lauro Chartrand), and many others prove disastrous. Nacho feels that he was lied to and tells Esqueleto that they need to go pro if they wish to advance in their wrestling careers. He makes a plan to go to a party being thrown by Senor Ramon (Enrique Munoz), the best manager in wrestling.The next day, Ignácio takes the orphans on a field trip to see the village. He humorously gives insight into the town's various locales, and then he and the orphans see Ramses and other luchadors leaving the gym. The orphans ask Nacho to get Ramses's autograph, but after trying to persuade the wrestler for his signature, Ramses gets annoyed and shoves Nacho into a melon cart. Nacho then gives up trying.That night, after Steven once again sews new outfits for himself and Ignácio to wear to the party, Ignácio tells Encarnacion not to worry about getting the orphans food, but that he would do this himself. Nacho and Esqueleto then head to the party. After failing to get past the party's bouncers, Ignácio boosts Steven over a wall so that he can get in. Although Steven cannot lift Nacho, he is able to sneak in by pretending to be a member of the hired mariachi band. Steven strikes up a conversation with Senor Ramon, who who tells him about an upcoming tournament known as the Battle Jam. The winnner of this competition receives eight hundred pesos, and is given a chance to fight against the current champion, Ramses. Steven accidentally attracts the attention of Ramon's plus-sized daughter, Candidia (Carla Jimenez), and she is instantly love-struck.Meanwhile, Ignácio tries his best to pretend to play the bass guitar with the band. Steven goes upstairs to relax and finds Candidia's extensive doll collection. He accidentally breaks one of the dolls, but is surprised to find Candidia sitting right next to him in the room. She instantly forgives him. Naturally, Steven asks how she got upstairs so fast. Her reply is that she installed secret tunnels throughout the house. Obviously freaked out, Esqueleto makes a mad dash to leave, but Candidia travels down her secret tunnel.At the same time, Ignácio is asked to sing a song, so he makes one up right on the spot. However, his composition doesn't go over well, and Ramses shows his disapproval by pouring out his wine on Nacho's shirt. Screams can be heard over the crowd though, and Nacho goes over to see what the matter is. He finds that Candidia is trying to pull Steven into her secret tunnel, and tries to help by slamming her with his bass. He misses, and accidentally hits Steven. The two are then kicked out of the party.As they travel back to the chariot, they see two rival luchadors, whom Nacho and Esqueleto almost beat, slashing their tires. They engage them, but keep their disatance because their foes have knives. Steven uses an ear of corn he had been munching on as a projectile, and lands it in his foe's eye socket. The duo push the cart back to the orphanage, and then Nacho remembers that he forgot to the get the groceries. It's too late to go back however, because it is now approaching daybreak, so he takes his anger out on Steven. He blames him for his shortcomings and Esqueleto replies by saying that he hates all the orphans in the world.Later that day, Ignácio attends mass and prays for forgivness and that God would bless him in battle so that he could win money for the orpans. He goes to light a candle at the altar, but accidentally sets his robes on fire. The congregation sees the luchador outfit Nacho was wearing underneath his robes, and soon realizes what he has been doing. Nacho tells the monks
and Encarnacion about his plan to win the Battle Jam and give his winnings to the orphans for all of their needs. He leaves the orphanage to go to the Battle Jam, where he must fight several fighters all at once. The fighters include Silencio (Donald Chambers), El Snowflake (Craig Williams), Dynasty (Brett Chan), El Chino (Mike Ching), Muneco (Abelardo Hernandez), Carlos Rosales (Emiliano Quiroga), and his trusty companion, Esqueleto. Dynasty, El Snowflake, Muneco, and Carlos Rosales are defeated in the beginning, and Silencio takes out El Chino and Esqueleto at the same time.Nacho approaches Silencio but for some odd reason, Muneco trips Nacho from outside of the ring causing Nacho to fall in front of Silencio. Silencio picks Nacho up and then drops him, once again knocking our hero unconcious, also once again leaving him defeated. Nacho sullenly returns to the orphanage and decides to give up wrestling and spend the rest of his days in the wilderness. Chancho gives Nacho his lucky machete (his mother gave it to him before she died) and then Nacho heads into the wilderness.Ignacio creates a makeshift shelter and lives off of cactus water. The next day, however, Steven drives into the wilderness on the chariot and tries to persuade Nacho to come back to wrestling. As it turns out, it was easy for him to find Nacho because although he thought he was in the wilderness, Nacho was really right next to a small village. Esqueleto tells him that Silencio cannot fight Ramses because he got injured (which is humorously shown in a clip where Esqueleto runs over Silencio's foot with the chariot after Silencio was mean to a poor orphan child) and that Nacho gets to fight Ramses because he came in second place. Nacho is reluctant at first, but agrees to fight him.Ignácio writes a letter to Encarnacion which Steven delivers, which tells her of his love for her and of the fight he will be in against Ramses. While in the locker room, Nacho sings a very comical song to Esqueleto which he wrote for Encarnacion, but he is interrupted by an arena worker who tells him that the fight will now begin. Nacho goes into the ring and the battle against Ramses commences.Although there are many close calls, Nacho makes it to the second round. Ramses ignores the bell and begins an all-out street fight against Nacho. Ramses seems to have Nacho pinned until Encarnacion enters the arena with the orphans. The sight of his lover gives Nacho the strength to fight back, and he eventually flings Ramses out of the ring. Nacho then climbs up one of the corner pillars of the ring and dive-bombs towards Ramses. It is here that the eagle powers finally kick in and give Nacho the needed air time to reach Ramses and put him into an unbreakable submission. Against all odds, Nacho comes out victorious and is declared the luchador champion.A week later, Nacho takes Encarnacion, Steven, and the orphans on a field trip to see the Mayan pyramids of Chichen Itza in a newly-purchased bus and closes out this movie with a somewhat disturbing smile.
    

Nacho Libre


            Neil Diamond is the man of this film and is what brings the group of friends together, Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs), Wayne Lefessier (Steve Zahn) and J.D McNugget (Jack Black).When the group have just finished performing a song from their Neil Diamond tribute band they go to a bar to relax. A woman walks in and Wayne and J.D persuade Darren to go try and talk to her. He goes after a little more persuasion (lying) from Wayne who says she 'wants him'. She quickly denies him and he accidently leaves his bottle of beer on the table. Another, more repulsive, man comes over to try and hit on her and Darren comes back for his beer where the woman sits him down and pretends he is her boyfriend just to get rid of the other man. They spend the night talking and eventually end up in a realtionship. However, Darren's realtionship with Judith (Amanda Peet) means he spends no time at all now with his two best friends. Darren tries to get Judith and his friends to become aquainted and perhaps even become friends but this plan is a disaster and leaves Wayne and J.D with no Darren. They come up with several different ideas to try and get Darren back including 'cheating' photographs and breaking and entering. All of these plans are foiled but there is one plan that they hope will work. In high school Darren was in love with another girl, Sandy Perkus (Amanda Detmer) and she is back in town so the two guys try to persuade her and Darren to get back together. Then they kidnap Judith and tell Darren she is dead so that he will get back together with Sandy and they can all be friends again. But Judith knows it is Wayne and J.D that have kidnapped her so she eventually figures out a way to get out and when she does she sees that Sandy and Darren are back together but Darren had promised Judith they would get married so they still carry on with the wedding after Sandy runs away to finish becoming a nun. Wayne and J.D are put in jail for kidnapping but are then broken out by their former gym teacher, they then go and stop Sandy from becoming a nun and tell her Darren still loves her, then they kidnap Neil Diamond in the assumption that he will help get them back together and then they go to the wedding. Neil Diamond plays for them and Darren realises the error of his ways and goes back to Sandy. Judith, heartbroken, then turns and goes with Wayne, and J.D and the coach admit that they are gay and they go together. On stage that night Neil Diamond weds Darren and Sandy, Wayne and Judith, and J.D and the coach. The film ends on a humourosly happy ending.
    

Saving Silverman

Happily

The D Train


            Lemuel Gulliver (Jack Black) is happy to coast through life working in the mail room of a New York literary powerhose, until new employee Dan (T.J. Miller) is promoted to be his boss in less than a day, prompting Gulliver to blag an assignment to be a new travel writer, hoping to impress the love of his life, travel editor Darcy Silverman (Amanda Peet).Sent to explore strange happenings around the Bermuda Triangle, Gulliver's boat - the Knot for Sail - is hit by a huge storm and swept up into a giant inverted whirlpool, before he is knocked unconscious.When he awakens he finds himself on the island of Lilliput ... tied to the ground and surrounded by angry little men a 10th of his size!He has been 'captured' by General Edward (Chris O'Dowd) and paraded through the streets of Lilliput to be brought before the royal family - King Theodore (Billy Connolly), Queen Isabelle (Catherine Tate) and Princess Mary (Emily Blunt).Gulliver, nicknamed 'The Beast' by the Lilliputlians, is kept in chains in the island dungeon by the sea, where he meets and relates to another prisoner, Horatio (Jason Segel) - jailed for "unlawful courting" of Princess Mary, and previously the tallest man on the island by a few millimetres.Soon Gulliver is put to work ploughing the fields, but the warning bells sound to signal a Blefuscian attack - in which they try to kidnap the Princess, and burn the palace. Brave, and selfish, General Edward is off to save the day - but Horatio knows he cannot reach the Princess in time and begs Gulliver to help. Horatio breaks his large friend free from his chains, and together they are off - first Gulliver drops the enemy spies into the village pond, before he does the only thing he can think to put out the flames in the palace and save the King -- to take quite a big leak. It works, the flames are doused, but he doesn't endear himself to Edward who gets a good bath in the yellow stuff.The Lilliputlians throw a huge feast for their protector, and start work on Gulliver's dream house by the sea. Life is pretty sweet for Gulliver - and the islanders are amazed at the 'stories' about his life (all scenes from famous movies). Horatio makes a successful move on the Princess with Gulliver's (and The Artist formally known as Prince's) help. When General Edward finally finds Gulliver's ship, Gulliver asks to stay.This is the final straw for Edward, who is asked to take a break by the King, allowing Gulliver to be promoted to the new General. Hoping to regain his position, Edward sabotages the island defences. The Blefuscian launch a huge cannonball attack, and then their Armada approaches. Gulliver is summoned.He wades out into the sea, hoping to strike a truce with the enemy. The Blefuscians instead attack, yet Gulliver's gut absorbs all the cannonfire, and then like an elastic band fires the metal back at the ships. Gulliver picks up the guideropes and hauls the Armada away, further strengthening his bond with the little people of Lilliput.(Former) General Edward skulks off to the enemy with plans from Gulliver's salvaged booty - a page on how to "Build your own robot".Edward returns to Lilliput to challenge Gulliver to a duel - inside a 6ft tall robot. He gives Gulliver a giant wedgie as he tries to run away, and shows Gulliver's true colors. Gulliver is banished to the 'island they don't talk about', tied to a huge raft, while the Blefuscians take control of Lilliput and the King and Queen are locked in the dungeon.Meanwhile, Darcy has had to take the writing assignment - and is caught up in the same storm and shipwrecked on the island of Lilliput. She is captured by General Edward. Horatio escapes to find Gulliver and travel to the forbidden island.Gulliver awakes on the 'island they don't talk about' - to find himself outside a giant house. He is snatched up by a little (but very tall!) girl, and forced to accept a new life as a doll inside a giant doll's house.That night Horatio finds Gulliver and encourages his friend to break free. Using the parachute from a dead pilot, they jump from the house and float away back to Lilliput.Gulliver finds Darcy chained up in the dungeons. He comes clean about his background - and his feelings for Darcy. Full of courage now, he breaks everyone free -- and goes to challenge General Edward in a winner-takes-all rematch.Edward, in the giant robot, is ready - with a new secret weapon -- electricity! (They didn't seem to have electricity until Gulliver came along) Gulliver is losing badly. Horatio bravely grabs a horse, breaks his way into the robot, and turns off the power to the mighty weapon.It's a fairer fight. Gulliver beats the robot on the head a few times, and then gives him a robot wedgie, sending him back to sleep mode.The Lilliput King and Blefuscian Leader square up to fight again ... so Gulliver asks -- "War - what is it good for?!". They join in with his song, and everyone is at peace again. General Edward captures the Princess, but she beats him off.Back in New York, Gulliver is now a travel writer, enjoying more time with Darcy, with published articles about his travels framed on the wall.Dan, from the mail room, enters the office with a new mail room attendant, and is firmly put in his place. As it ends, we see glimpses of Gulliver's articles, against the original Jonathan Swift novel content.JT, HowDoesTheMovieEnd.com
    

Gulliver's Travels


            Zed and Oh are two tribesman. Zed is a hunter and Oh is a gatherer. After being informed Zed ate from Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, he is banished from the tribe. Oh decides to go with Zed on his journey to find the end of the Earth. Along the way, they encounter Cain and Abel (David Cross and Paul Rudd), and Abraham (Hank Azaria). After, Zed and Oh notice the girls they wanted to "lay with" (Maya and Eema) from their former tribe have been enslaved, they head off on a journey to save them.(Source: WikiPedia. Bangs_McCoy)
    

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