
            A Dystopia in the FutureApproximately seven hundred years in the future, the Earth is over-run with garbage and devoid of plant and animal life, the consequence of years of environmental degradation and thoughtless consumerism. The surviving humans are living on the spaceship Axiom after vacating Earth centuries earlier. Axiom is operated by a large corporation called Buy N Large, whose BnL logo appears even on the artificial sun visible from the ship's main concourse. The original plan was for humans to live in outer space for 5 years while cleaning robots ("WALL-Es" invented by Professor Simon) prepared Earth for recolonization. However, after seven hundred years, only one WALL-E (voice: Ben Burtt) remains.WALL-E spends his days compacting debris into solid blocks and building structures with them. He also collects some of the more interesting artifacts and keeps them in the garage he shares with a cockroach, his only friend. At night he watches Hello Dolly on VHS and dreams of having a hand to hold. Most of his finds are spare parts and electronics but one day he discovers a lonely plant. Not sure what it is, but recognizing that it needs soil and care, he picks it up and puts it in a dirt-filled old shoe.The next day, an enormous spaceship lands and deposits another robot, EVE (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator, voice: Elissa Knight). WALL-E is immediately smitten and hopes to hold her hand, but EVE is quick to use her plasma cannon, which can blast a hole through anything. EVE flies around Earth looking for vegetation but becomes distraught upon not finding any. WALL-E is finally able to approach her and takes her back to his garage where he shows her his collection of human artifacts. She still resists holding his hand, however, so he shows her the plant he found. This activates her prime directive: she takes the plant into a special containment capsule within her body, sends a signal to the mother ship, and goes into hibernation mode. Confused, WALL-E tries to make her safe and comfortable. He shelters her from thunderstorms and takes her to a park where he can watch the sunset next to her.Several days later, the mother ship returns and collects EVE. WALL-E hitches a ride on the ship, which returns to the Axiom several light years away from Earth. EVE and WALL-E are examined in the landing bay. EVE, still in hibernation mode, is taken away to the ship's commander. WALL-E pursues her, followed by M-O (voice: Ben Burtt), a cleaning robot who is intent on scrubbing the filthy WALL-E to remove foreign contaminants (i.e. dirt or earth). On the way, WALL-E sees humans for the first time. Obese and largely unable to move on their own, they are carted around the Axiom in hover chairs with video screens that allow them to communicate with one another and see a variety of advertisements for drinkable food products. When WALL-E accidentally knocks one of the humans, John (voice: John Ratzenberger), off his hover chair, WALL-E helps the man back into the chair and introduces himself. Confused but grateful, John introduces himself in return.WALL-E tracks EVE to the chambers of Captain McCrea (voice: Jeff Garlin), who is just as inert and catered to as the other humans. McCrea is confused but excited about Operation Recolonize, which is triggered by EVE's find. But when McCrea reactivates EVE and orders her to produce the plant, it is missing. McCrea orders EVE and WALL-E to be taken for repairs but, after they've left, decides to educate himself about Earth. In the repair bay, WALL-E mistakenly thinks EVE is being harmed by the repair crew and uses her plasma cannon to save her, inadvertently releasing other robots who had been taken in for service. During the breakout, security robots take photos of them; the ship's computer announces to humans that EVE and WALL-E are renegade robots. Angry, EVE takes WALL-E to an escape pod to send him back to Earth. Before she can put him in the pod, they see Gopher putting the plant in the escape pod. After Gopher leaves, WALL-E goes to rescue the plant but is blasted into space. Before the pod self-destructs, WALL-E uses the emergency escape hatch and a fire extinguisher to exit the pod with the plant. A joyous EVE plays in space with WALL-E and even gives him an appreciative electric kiss.Using the garbage chute, EVE and WALL-E sneak into McCrea's cabin to give him the plant. But Auto (voice: MacInTalk), the ship's auto pilot system, reveals it was the one who stole the plant earlier. It has no intention of allowing a return to Earth because of a centuries-old directive that was issued when the Earth was believed to be permanently uninhabitable. Auto blasts WALL-E, EVE and the plant back down the garbage chute and confines McCrea to his cabin. WALL-E and EVE barely escape being shot into space with the rest of the refuse but WALL-E is badly damaged. Meanwhile, McCrea has figured out how to hack into the ship's communication system and tells EVE and WALL-E to head to the ship's central deck, where a special machine will return the ship to earth when the plant is placed inside it. With the help of the robots they liberated earlier, WALL-E and EVE make it to the central deck where the special machine has risen from a platform. Auto tries to force the machine back into the platform but is prevented by WALL-E. McCrea manages to stand up on his own and shuts off AUTO. EVE puts the plant in the special machine and the Axiom is whisked back to Earth.WALL-E was grievously crushed in keeping Auto from collapsing the platform. Once they reach Earth, EVE rushes WALL-E back to his garage and repairs him. WALL-E doesn't recognize her and begins to compact garbage. Distraught, EVE holds WALL-E's hand and gives him an electric kiss again. This properly reboots WALL-E. McCrea teaches the other humans how to nurture the plant and heal the planet. It will be much easier than they think because just outside the city, plants have already begun to flourish.
    

WALL·E


            Best in Show is presented as a documentary of five dogs and their owners destined to show in the Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show, held in Philadelphia. The documentary jumps between the owners as they prepare to leave for the show, arriving at the hotel, and preparing backstage before their dog takes the show. The owners and their dogs include:Gerry and Cookie Fleck (Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara), with their Norwich Terrier Winky. They are a middle-class couple from Florida who run into monetary problems and are forced to sleep in the hotel's storage room when they finally arrive. Throughout the film, they encounter men that Cookie had slept with during her youth.Meg and Hamilton Swan (Parker Posey, Michael Hitchcock), with their Weimaraner Beatrice. An upper-class, stereotypical yuppie couple, they take great care in Beatrice (although really just confusing and aggravating her with their neurotic behavior), going as far as taking her to a therapist after she saw Meg and Hamilton have sex. At the show, the Swans believe that Beatrice will become unnerved without her favorite toy, the "Busy Bee", and frantically search for a replacement for it before the show.Harlan Pepper (Christopher Guest) and his Bloodhound Hubert. The Peppers have raised bloodhounds for generations, and Harlen continues the tradition, though he has aspirations of becoming a ventriloquist.Sherri Ann (Jennifer Coolidge) and Leslie Ward (Patrick Cranshaw) Cabot with their standard poodle Rhapsody in White (a.k.a. Butch), a two-time winner of the show in the past. Sherri Ann is a luscious big-breasted blonde, having the elderly Leslie as her sugar daddy. She is primarily worried about giving Rhapsody a makeover; however, trainer Christy Cummings (Jane Lynch) makes sure the dog is ready for the show, while Leslie stays utterly oblivious and apathetic. Over the course of the film, the fake couplehood between Sherri Ann and Leslie crumples while Sherri Ann's romantic involvement with Christy becomes apparent.Scott Donlan (John Michael Higgins) and Stefan Vanderhoof (Michael McKean) and their Shih Tzu. The gay couple takes great pride in their dog, and are confident that she will win the competition. They gossip about the other participants throughout the film.The owners and their dogs all arrive in time for the show, which is hosted by Trevor Beckwith (Jim Piddock), and "color" commentator Buck Laughlin (Fred Willard). During the first round, Beatrice is disqualified when Hamilton cannot control her, but the other four dogs advance to the final round. Just before the finals, Cookie stumbles and insists that Gerry take over for her. Though the audience is initially awed by seeing Gerry's "two left feet" (the result of a birth defect), ultimately Winky takes Best in Show.Afterwards, the film explores what each character is doing after the competition. Gerry and Cookie returned home to Florida and were overcome with attention after the victory. They go on to record, in amusingly bad style, songs about dogs. Sherri Ann and Christy have entered into a partnership and publish a magazine for lesbian dog owners called Modern Bitch. Harlan fulfills his dreams and becomes a ventriloquist, entertaining sparse crowds with a honky tonk song and dance number. Hamilton and Meg Swan have found a new dog, one that enjoys watching them make love, and are sure it will be a winner. Stefan and Scott are in the process of designing a calendar featuring Shih Tzu dogs appearing in scenes, with appropriate costume, from famous classic films, such as Gone with the Wind and Casablanca.
    

Best in Show


            
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Waiting for Guffman

D.C. Follies

Real People

Trust Us with Your Life

Killer Diller

Back to You

All Stars

Here Comes Rusty

Accidentally in Love

Sodbusters

The Bird Men


            Willing to try anything to transform her life, Laura follows her best friends suggestion and sets up a session with a life coach, who tells Laura to make 12 wishes for a positive change in her life. But before long, Laura realizes that her wishes are sparking unforeseen circumstances and she must act quickly to get her life back and her dog before Christmas.
    

12 Wishes of Christmas

My Future Boyfriend

Betsy's Kindergarten Adventures

A Valentine's Date

Americathon


            When young amish man Roy goes to Hollywood on his Rumm Shpringa, he realizes that Hollywood isn't all glitz and glam. Then Roy's uncle get's him a job in the movie bussiness and Roy life starts falling apart. And after going through a few trials, Roy learns a very important lesson: To love God, love others, and just be you.
    

Holyman Undercover

Church Ball

Bachelors


            The Yank is a satirical comedy on Irish AMERICA. It confronts the "paddywhackery" that sweeps the U.S. like a shamrock hurricane every St. Patrick's Day,and Half Way to St. Patrick's Day and....so forth....in a playful, subtle way. Tom Murphy is a metaphor for Irish America (Murphy is also the name used in jokes by Irish comedians such as Hal Roach and Noel Ginnity). He is clueless about Irish history, literature, etc. His view of Ireland comes from The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne, which is the same view his family has. Tom gets his first visit to Ireland when he attends his friend, Marty's, wedding. His family in the U.S. see this as an opportunity for Tom to find a "true Irish girl" in the land where their ancestors came from. He also gets to meet his distant relation, played by Colm Meaney, who teaches him a thing or two about Ireland of the past and the Ireland of today.
The expectations Tom's family puts on him to find an Irish wife cause him to search his heart. He loves his family and wants to find a woman who shares the things that he values, such as music, love and loyalty. He eventually finds those qualities in someone but she's not Irish....she's Greek. Tom chooses to defy those expectation and listen to his own heart, deciding to give a possible relationship with Vanessa a try.
He also learns that Ireland is not the mythical land of old movies, but a thriving, proud member of the European community.
    

My Not So Irish Bride


            The film starts with Christian Black (Marlon Wayans) going about his routine. This involves stealing a woman's purse, an expensive suit from a store, and a shiny sports car. He goes to his company, where he is interviewed by college student Hannah Steale (Kali Hawk). Her questions were made by her hood rat roommate Kateesha (Jenny Zigrino), so they consist of asking how much money Christian makes and if he's gay. Christian says he made his money through selling drugs, and he claims to have only done something gay once. Hannah leaves the building but her head gets caught in the elevator doors.Hannah meets with her friend Jesse (Andrew Bachelor), who not-so-subtly wants to bang her. He agrees to do a photoshoot for Christian, which includes that Kim Kardashian pose with the wine glass.Christian finds Hannah at the hardware store where she works, seeing her fellating a screwdriver. Hannah jokes that she thought Christian was a serial killer, to which he responds by listing off all the things a serial killer would have...before going to purchase all those exact items.Hannah goes out to the bar with Jesse and Kateesha, and Hannah gets wasted. Jesse tries to use this as an opportunity to date-rape her until Christian arrives and tries to intervene. Unfortunately, Jesse kicks Christian's ass. Meanwhile, Kateesha meets Christian's brother Eli (Affion Crockett), AKA Weekday (because his hair is crazy like The Weeknd).Hannah wakes up in Christian's apartment, dressed in new clothes. Christian shamelessly admits to undressing and redressing Hannah. He gives her breakfast, which is just a piece of toast that he licks repeatedly. Christian decides to take Hannah home, and they start making out furiously in the elevator in front of other people. When they get back to Hannah's place, they find Eli and Kateesha having sex. Eli stands up and shows his abnormally large penis.Christian finds out Hannah is a virgin, which is considered to be unsurprising because everyone always tells Hannah how plain and ugly she is. Christian takes Hannah's virginity, but the sex only lasts a few seconds because he climaxes almost immediately. He wants her to allow him to perform S&M things with her and gives her a contract to look over. When they later discuss it, Hannah seems to be cool with all the weird things that Christian is into.Hannah meets Christian's adoptive parents Gary (Fred Willard) and Claire (Jane Seymour) (both white), along with his adopted sister Mai (Irene Choi). Claire gives her kids racially stereotypical meals (Chinese food for Mai, despite her being Korean, and fried chicken & Kool-Air for Christian and Eli). As Hannah learns more about Christian's past, she finds out that his first sexual encounter was with a woman named Mrs. Robinson (Florence Henderson), who made Christian cry because he sucked so bad at sex. He also used to be a stripper but got laughed offstage because he had a baby dick.Christian and Hannah get into more weird sex acts, including the S&M. However, Hannah decides to turn the tables and decides to be the dominant to Christian, which ends with her shoving a massive dildo up Christian's butt. As he lays crying in bed, Hannah tells him that he can't love. She leaves his home but gets her head stuck in the elevator again.Christian follows Hannah and professes his love for her. They kiss, and he promises to take her on a trip. She thinks he's gonna take her on his private jet, but they fly coach on a noisy plane, right next to a sick man that pukes in his bag.
    

Fifty Shades of Black

Cracking Up


            Julia Jones is a lonely, overweight 30-something woman of Greek, Indian, Japanese, and Jewish decent. After looking for love in several wrong places, and receiving as many rejections, she gets pimped out and is thus better equipped to find and court the man of her dreams, Grant Fockyerdoder. Before she can do so, however, she must overcome a dozen or so obstacles that shamelessly spoof several popular romantic comedies, such as My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Meet the Parents, The Bachelor, My Best Friend's Wedding, Kill Bill, Pretty Woman, Napoleon Dynamite, When Harry Met Sally, Wedding Crashers, Say Anything, Hitch, Sleepless in Seattle, The Wedding Planner, King Kong, and a few others. Will she get her man in the end? If you don't know the answer, you need to see a few more Date Movies.
    

Date Movie

Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure


            Four orphans each receive a Golden Ticket, each via a different film "parody" - Lucy (The Da Vinci Code), Edward (Nacho Libre), Susan (Snakes on a Plane) and Peter (X-Men trilogy). This ticket entitles them to visit the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). Willy tells the kids that the secret ingredient in his chocolate is human parts, and he plans to keep the orphans in his factory to use them for his chocolate. He succeeds in getting the ingredients, which includes Lucy's sweet "heart", Edward's "peanuts", Peter's "surprise" tooth and Susan's lemon "head" to the tune of 'Fergalicious'. He then brands Peter's backside and locks the orphans in an old room, where they bemoan the lunacy of their captor. Soon, they hear Willy looking for them, and all rush to find a place to hide. Lucy runs to a room with a wardrobe (The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) and after a series of items fall on her, including a live woman, she climbs inside to find a snowy forest. When her tongue gets stuck to a pole (A Christmas Story), half-man half-goat Mr. Tumnus arrives to help her.He welcomes Lucy to "Gnarnia" by showing her around his home (as a "parody" of Cribs) and introducing her to a rapping Kanye West-lookalike brother and several goat-women. When Lucy expresses gratitude to his friendship, he gives her a spy-secured camera, which painfully scans her retina before playing a film that warned her of the grave danger she is in (Mission Impossible III). Back at the Chocolate Factory, Edward follows Lucy through the closet to Gnarnia and is nearly hit by a fast sleigh with a license plate (Tokyo Drift). Onboard is the White Bitch, whom Edward calls "Stifler's Mom..." (American Pie series). She convinces him to trap the other orphans. Eventually everyone makes his or her way to Mr. Tumnus' house, where the orphans discover a clue in a painting of the Last Supper that lead them to learning that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. Edward goes to see the White Bitch at her castle and realizes all she cares about are the other orphans. After having his feelings dismissed and realizing he got the wrong tattoo on his back (Get Rich or Die Trying), he realizes that she is evil and refuses to tell her where the other orphans are. Unfortunately, the White Bitch flashes him her chest and a transfixed Edward gives her the information unhesitatingly. A group of cameramen and an Ashton Kutcher-lookalike then appears (Punk'd) to mock him, and Edward is locked in the castle prison.A talking beaver named Harry sends Lucy, Susan, and Peter out of the winter scenery and into the woods to train for the war. They end up in a castle where they meet three adults dressed as students (named after the characters of Harry Potter), who help the orphans train for the war. Back at the White Bitch's castle, as she prepares a WMD that will create a new continent for her and her followers to live on (Superman Returns), her assistant hands her a computer with her MySpace on the screen with an IM from Silas saying that the kids have escaped. Edward tries to find ways to break out of prison, and does so with the help of Captain Jack Swallows (Pirates of the Carribean). Swallows brings Edward to his ship named Fantasia (after American Idol), where rapping male and girl-band female pirates tell Edward about the life of a pirate. However, it was a trap to deceive Edward, as Swallows sell him to the White Bitch and reveals that the ship they are on is an amusement park ride. With Edward secured, the White Bitch kills Jack Swallows. Edwards grabs the WMD from her but accidentally drops it into the water, triggering the first stages of an earthquake.Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter, head to the camp of Aslo. There they encounter James Bond and his girls (specifically Casino Royale), Chewbacca, Borat, Lord of the Rings characters, Robin Hood, and Peter's X-Men classmates. All of them promise to help them fight the White Bitch and save their brother. Aslo agrees to help the orphans on the condition that he may seduce them, including Peter. Afterwards they arrive to the castle, where Aslo and Silas fight briefly and pull each other's hair (Enter the Dragon) before Aslo emerges victorious. Edward is rescued, but after encountering the White Bitch Aslo is quickly killed off. When the orphans learn this, they promise to fight tomorrow, but until then to party. As the resistance sang and danced, Peter gets a night with Mystique but reveals disturbing fetishes, while Susan drinks and ends up vomiting on the resistance army. As a result, no one shows up to support the foursome when they face the White Bitch's army.As promised, Jack Swallows arrives to attempt revenge against the White Bitch. Somehow, her face changes to that of Davey Jones and she play Miss New Booty on a turntable. This was revealled to be an octopus stuck on her face, and she throws it to Swallows', who loses sense of direction and ends up retreating. Back to the battle at hand, the foursome charges against the White Bitch's army, which include Star Wars stormtroopers. All the children are struck down, and the White Bitch steps forward to kill Peter, who is the last one standing. He grabs a remote off the ground, which he uses to pause time (Click). After experimenting it on passing joggers, he heals the injuries of his comrades, and the orphans proceed to kill the army as it is "paused" to remain in the same position. When the army is destroyed, the ground starts shaking again, and Edward uses the remote's TiVo menu to erase the White Bitch's evil plot.Before they can kill the White Bitch, Peter stops them and makes a speech about how they will give her a fair trial, yet before the lecture is over Jack Swallows runs the White Bitch over with his cartwheel. Harry Beaver promotes all four of them Kings and Queens of Gnarnia. They are each described: Peter "the heroic", Edward "the loyal", Susan "the just", and, Lucy, the "dumb-shit". They rule Gnarnia for many years, and in their old age, they discover the wardrobe once again and walked through it, becoming young again. Borat appears to congratulate them, but Jack Swallows' cartwheel runs them over, and then he says "NOT!". Then he turns around and smacks his own behind and then the credits roll. In the Unrated, Longer Version of the movie, instead of Borat, Willy Wonka comes in and says "I told you it was going to be an epic adventure" instead. The Oompa-Loompas come in and start singing the Willy Wonka theme song as he puts a 'do not disturb' sign refering to the girl in the wardrobe. Then, Jack Swallows comes in with the wheel and crushes the Oompa-Loompas and the orphans/rulers of Gnarnia.
    

Fred Willard

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