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Somebody Feed Phil

Mikey and Nicky

A New Leaf


            The film opens with a performance at the Birdcage, a nightclub situated in South Beach, Miami. The club is owned by Armand Goldman, a gay Jew in a relationship with the club's star Albert, who performs as a drag queen. Armand's son Val returns from college with an announcement: he is getting married to a schoolmate, Barbara Keeley, whose father Kevin Keeley is a conservative politician from Ohio who founded the Coalition for Moral Order, and who is seeking reelection. The problem is that Barbara hid the truth from her parents - she informed them that Val's father is a cultural attaché for Greece and that Val's mother is a housewife, and that their last name was Coleman.The Keeleys, meanwhile, are in the midst of their own crisis: Keeley's co-founder for the Coalition, Senator Jackson, died of a heart attack while in bed with an underage black prostitute. This event makes headlines, and gets the Keeleys swamped with hordes of reporters and threatens to ruin their political position. Kevins wife Louise proposes that they go to see Val's parents, who they believe are a traditional wholesome family, as a double measure to both avoid the reporters and to restore their impeccable public image. They set off, but are being tracked by a couple of reporters, who are themselves tracked by competing reporters...Val begs his father to go along with the charade, and after some deliberation he concedes. They both set to work remodeling their apartment into a more austere and simple home, and dress up the flamboyant gay manservant Agador as a butler/cook. Less simple is asking Albert for support; an effeminate, temperamental and sensitive partner, he is offended at Armand and Val asking him to be absent due to his obvious gayness, and when he tries to act like a heterosexual he fails miserably. With no other choices, Armand and Val decide to call upon Val's birthmother Katherine, a former showgirl who left Val with Armand and ran off to become a businesswoman. Asking Katherine is the last straw for Albert and he decides to go to a cemetery; Armand calms him down and reaffirms their devotion by giving him partnership of the Birdcage.The Keeleys arrive, and the night starts off fairly well, with only a few hiccups. Unfortunately, Katherine, who was supposed to join the party, gets stuck in traffic. Unexpectedly Albert dresses up as a woman and takes her place, to the horror of Armand and Val; bizarrely his masquerade works successfully and Kevin is even smitten with Mrs Coleman and her liberalness, much to Louise's indignation. However, both Kevin and Louise start to suspect that the Colemans are hiding something, especially when they are served an awful mishmash soup made of all sorts of ingredients (including hardboiled eggs), and notice that the plates hold pictures of men in disturbing poses...Katherine finally arrives, and everything falls apart: Kevin and Louise find out that Val's parents are gay Jewish nightclub owners, and they decide to leave immediately. But they discover a mass of news crews outside who tracked them down, and duck back in. Although the Keeleys have warmed up to their in-laws, they are now trapped inside and for them to appear in the presence of such people would finish their political careers. Albert hits on a brilliant scheme: he dresses the Keeleys up in drag and gives an impromptu performance, and as the show goes on Katherine successfully gets the Keeleys out of the Birdcage without any interception from reporters.The film ends with Val and Barbara getting married, in an interfaith ceremony presided by both a rabbi and priest, attended by Kevin and Louise, Katherine and Armand and Albert.
    

The Birdcage


            Following a knee injury, Joe Pendleton, a Los Angeles Rams second-string quarterback, practices with the team as the managers and coach comment repeatedly on his good form. Away from the football field, he focuses on fitness and relaxes by playing the saxophone. On Joes birthday, Max Corkle, a Rams trainer and Joes good friend, drops by his home with a cake and informs him that the coach wants Joe to start the game against the Dallas Cowboys instead of Tom Jarrett. Joe steps up his training, but while bicycling through a tunnel he is hit by a van. With saxophone in hand, Joe arrives at a way station to Heaven accompanied by The Escort, a celestial assistant who instructs Joe to board an aircraft for his final destination. Joe refuses, believing it is only a dream. Delicately, the archangel man in charge, Mr. Jordan, explains that this place represents the afterlife, but Joe is convinced that his death is a mistake. After verifying Joes status, a clerk announces that Joe isnt due to arrive until the year 2025, and The Escort, a rookie, admits that he pulled him away before the outcome of the collision. Since Joes body has already been cremated, Mr. Jordan says that in order for him to return to life, Joe must occupy the body of another man, as long as that mans death has not yet been discovered. Mr. Jordan and Joe proceed to scout for possible candidates. At the estate of Leo Farnsworth, a millionaire industrialist, they observe the scheming of his wife Julia Farnsworth and Tony Abbott, Farnsworths assistant. Julia and Abbott are having an affair, and they have left Farnsworth to drown in the bathtub after drugging him. Meanwhile, Betty Logan, a schoolteacher, arrives at the mansion to insist on meeting with Farnsworth about his refinery that will force the eviction of families in her hometown of Pagglesham, England. Joe is immediately smitten with Betty and wants to help her. Until they find a more athletic candidate, Mr. Jordan agrees to let Joe inhabit the body of Farnsworth temporarily. In the upstairs bathroom, Joe assumes his new identity, but only sees himself in the mirror. Mr. Jordan assures him that even though Joe can only see himself as the internal person of Joe Pendleton, others will see and hear him as Leo Farnsworth. Dressed in polo attire, Joe listens while Betty objects to the plans of Farnsworths Exo-Grey Industries. Upon seeing her husband alive, Julia screams hysterically, and Abbott quickly drags her away. Betty is confused by Joes lack of concern for his wifes outburst, and is also annoyed when Joe claims that he is not really Leo Farnsworth. Believing that he is taunting her, Betty angrily walks away, but warns him that she will be at the next company board meeting. While Joe studies Farnsworths business, Julia and Abbott wait nervously, unsure if he is plotting revenge for the murder. On the way to the board meeting, Joe invites reporters and Betty to join him. Everyone in the room is dumbfounded when Joe passionately compares Exo-Greys winning position to that of a football team that must protect its lead and do the right thing by not exploiting others. That evening, after Betty visits Farnsworth to compliment him on his courage in front of the board, Joe takes her out to dinner at a drivein restaurant. Inside the limousine, Joe confides that he cannot stop staring at her, and Betty admits that she sees something special in his eyes. As they are saying goodbye, Joe declares his plan to divorce Julia. With a new motivation, Joe tells The Escort that he wants to remain in Farnsworths body and get it into shape for football. That evening, despite rigging a heavy fixture above his bed, Julia and Abbott once again fail to murder Farnsworth. The following day, Max arrives at the estate and listens with skepticism while Joe explains that he wants to try out for the Rams quarterback and pay Max to be his trainer. Max is reluctant to jeopardize his reputation with the Rams by entertaining the whims of a millionaire. After initially seeming like at lunatic, Joe is finally able to persuade Max that he is really Joe Pendleton by playing the saxophone badly, as only Joe could. The estate immediately becomes a football training camp. After working out with the butlers of the mansion, Joe takes the next step by purchasing the Los Angeles Rams. During a locker room meeting, the players grumble when told that the new owner Farnsworth will be the quarterback in a scrimmage game and instructed to not hold back with him. At first, Joe receives no help from his offensive line and is repeatedly sacked. But, after requesting one chance to complete a play, he makes a successful pass and continues to display his skills for the rest of the practice, earning the respect of the players and defying the doubters on the sideline. Sometime later at the estate, Joe and Betty attend a gathering of The Ecology Club on the garden lawn. Watching from her bedroom window with Abbott, Julia still thinks that Farnsworth is plotting against them, and contemplates another murder. After strolling together on the property, Joe asks Betty to marry him. Just as Betty responds with excitement, The Escort interrupts Joe with the news that he must abandon Farnsworths body. Unsure what will happen to him, Joe asks Betty to remember what she saw in his eyes. Before she leaves, he embraces her and says, Theres nothing to be afraid of. Mr. Jordan visits to reiterate that he cannot change what is meant to be and that Joe must leave Farnsworths body, but Joe refuses, intent on playing in the Super Bowl and being with Betty. At that moment, Abbott shoots Joe from the bedroom window, and Joe tumbles into a well. No longer in Farnsworths body, Joe emerges from the well with his saxophone and has no choice but to follow Mr. Jordan back to Heaven. Farnsworths disappearance becomes front-page news, and Krim, the police detective in charge, gathers together the staff along with Max, Betty, Julia, and Abbott for questioning at the estate. Meanwhile, the Super Bowl between the Rams and the Pittsburgh Steelers is underway at the Los Angeles Coliseum, and Max is anxious to be there, so Krim lets him watch the game on television during the proceedings. Concerned for Betty, Joe is present in the room alongside Mr. Jordan. When the Rams quarterback, Tom Jarrett, is seriously hurt and taken off the field on a stretcher, Mr. Jordan transports Joe to the game. Mr. Jordan explains that it is Toms destiny to die at this time. Joe moves toward Toms body and occupies it, springing off the stretcher and onto the field. Watching this sudden recovery on television, Max realizes that it must be Joe. At the same time, the gardener runs into the room with Farnsworths jacket that he found in the well, which prompts Julia to scream that Abbott is the murderer, and he in turn points the finger at her. In overtime, Joe leads the Rams to a Super Bowl victory. During the celebration in the locker room, Mr. Jordan appears before Joe declares that Joe now has a permanent body in Tom Jarrett and he will no longer remember Joe Pendleton, or any of the events that happened, but he will now live out the rest of his life as Tom Jarrett with all of Tom's memories, while Joe's memories of his past life and all about Mr. Jordan and Heaven will be forgotten forever. Later that evening, Joe doesnt recognize the saxophone, and thinks Max has drunk too much champagne when he calls him Joe. Max finally realizes that Joe as he knows him no longer exists. As Joe/Tom exits through a stadium hallway, Betty enters looking for Max. After giving her directions, Joe/Tom wonders if they have met before. Betty says she doesnt know him, but she has a connection to football through her close friend, Leo Farnsworth. When the lights of the hallway are switched off, Joe/Tom assures Betty that theres nothing to be afraid of and guides her out the door. Betty is touched by what he said, recalling her last conversation with Farnsworth. Joe/Tom asks her out for coffee, and when Betty realizes that he is the quarterback, she says yes at once.
    

Heaven Can Wait


            Henry Burton (Adrian Lester) is a young African-American political idealist and grandson of a civil rights leader who is recruited to join the campaign of Jack Stanton (John Travolta), a charismatic governor of an unnamed US state in the Deep South who is trying to win the Democratic Party nomination for President of the United States. In the opening scenes, Henry is impressed by Stanton's genuine warmth and empathy with people when he accompanies Stanton on a humane tour of a school for adult education for illiterate adults. Henry soon joins Stanton's inner circle of political advisers whom include: Stanton's formidable Midwestern-born wife, Susan Stanton (Emma Thompson); the ruthless, redneck political strategist Richard Jemmons (Billy Bob Thornton); intelligent and attractive spokeswoman Daisy Green (Maura Tierney), whom Henry hooks up with at one point in the film; and the sly political operator Howard Ferguson (Paul Guilfoyle) as they journey to New Hampshire, the first state to hold a presidential primary.After Stanton completes an impressive debate performance against his Democratic rivals, Henry's ex-girlfriend shows up to question Stanton about a past arrest as a teenage for an anti-war protest during the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. In addition it's revealed that Stanton called a U.S. senator to help him get released then Stanton persuaded the mayor of Chicago to have his police record expunged. The team becomes worried that Stanton's past indiscretions may be used against him by the press and his political opponents. Henry is further unnerved by Stanton's womanizing when he witnesses the after-effects of Stanton seducing a timid school librarian named Miss Walsh (Allison Janney) during the opening scenes.Henry and his team hire Jack and Susan's old friend, the tough but unbalanced Libby Holden (Kathy Bates), to investigate allegations that could be used by Stanton's political opponents to undermine his candidacy such as Stanton's notorious womanizing. One of Stanton's mistresses and Susan's hairdresser, Cashmere McLeod (Gia Carides), comes forward claiming to have had an on-off affair with Jack Stanton for 12-years and produces secret audio taped conversations between them to prove they had an affair. Henry discovers that the tapes have been doctored, so Libby tracks down the man responsible for the tapes and forces him at gunpoint to confess his guilt in a signed letter to the American public.A little later, campaign is then rocked by another fresh allegation when Stanton's old friend, "Big Willie" McCollister (Tommy Hollis) approaches Henry to tell him that his 17-year-old daughter Loretta (who worked for the Stantons as a babysitter) is pregnant and that Stanton is the father. Henry and Howard tell Willie he must allow his daughter to undergo an amniocentesis to determine paternity. Although they convince Willie to remain silent on the issue, Henry is nonetheless sickened and disillusioned with the experience and about Jack Stanton in generalRealizing the campaign is falling behind in the polls, Stanton's team adopt a new strategy. Stanton begins going on the offensive by attacking his nearest rival, Senator Lawrence Harris (Kevin Cooney) for casting anti-Israel votes and favoring cuts in Social Security and Medicare. Harris confronts Stanton during a radio talk show in Florida but suffers a heart attack during the encounter, and another one in the hospital as well. Due to this medical setback, Harris subsequently withdraws from the race, and is replaced by his friend, former Florida governor Fred Picker (Larry Hagman). Picker's wholesome, straight-talking image proves an immediate threat to the Stanton campaign.Jack and Susan send Henry and Libby on an opposition research mission on Picker's past. They discover from his ex-brother-in-law, Eduardo Reyes (Tony Shalhoub), that Picker had a cocaine addiction as governor, which led to the disintegration of his first marriage. They also meet with Picker's cocaine supplier Lorenzo Delgado (John Vargas), with whom Picker had a homosexual affair. Not expecting the information to ever be used, Libby and Henry share their findings with Jack and Susan, but are dismayed when they both decide to leak the information to the press. Libby says that if Jack does so, she will reveal that he tampered with the results of the paternity test, proving that he slept with Willie's daughter.After a talk with Henry, Libby gives him the incriminating files about Picker's past, and later commits suicide the next day by shooting herself in her parked car after she realizes she spent her life idealizing Jack and Susan only to learn how flawed they truly are. Racked with guilt over Libby's death, Stanton takes the incriminating information to Picker, and apologizes for seeking it out. Picker admits to his past indiscretions, and agrees to withdraw from the race and to endorse Stanton. Afterwords, Henry intends to quit the campaign, admitting he has become deeply disillusioned with the whole political process. Stanton begs Henry to reconsider, persuading him that the two of them can make history and they might have a chance at winning.In the final scene, set a few months later, President Jack Stanton is dancing at the Inaugural Ball with First Lady, Susan at the White House. He shakes the hands of all his campaign staff, the last of whom is Henry.
    

Primary Colors

Crisis in Six Scenes

Such Good Friends

Down to Earth

In the Spirit


            In New York City, two singer/songwriters, Chuck Clarke (Dustin Hoffman) and Lyle Rogers (Warren Beatty), stare at the window of a Sam Goody record store. Chuck insists the only difference between them and hit makers like Simon and Garfunkel or Bruce Springsteen is that they do not have an essential ingredient: an agent. Soon, Chuck invites talent agent, Marty Freed (Jack Weston), to watch them perform their material at the store Song Mart. Afterward, Marty informs the duo that they have no stage talent. They need patter, "shtick," and gimmicks.For their next tryout, Chuck and Lyle (playing as their duo act called 'Rogers and Clarke') cover a familiar song with awkward choreography at a local nightclub. Despite audience booing, Marty offers them two bookings, one in Honduras at a hotel frequented by American journalists, and another longer engagement in Morocco. Chuck and Lyle mull Marty's offer at a nearby bar.In a series of flashbacks to five months earlier, Lyle was working by driving an ice cream truck, writing song lyrics as he worked. He played new songs for his speechless wife, Willa (Tess Harper). At a restaurant, Chuck played piano for customers. Afterward, as Chuck and his girl friend, Carol (Carol Kane), chatted, a waiter delivered a note from Lyle saying how much he enjoyed Chuck's performance. The songwriters met and had instant rapport, furiously collaborating on songs. They spent so much time composing that Willa left Lyle due to neglect. He sank into a depression, then Chuck helped him recover. Soon, Carol also felt neglected and ended her relationship with Chuck. He called Lyle and threatened suicide. Lyle promised to come to Chuck's aid, but his friend asked him not to alert the police because it would ruin his show business career. However, Lyle called the police, and Chuck climbed onto the ledge of his building when an officer appeared at his apartment. As Lyle joined Chuck on the ledge, Rabbi Pierce appeared to calm Chuck. Lyle grabbed Chuck's hand, and guided him back into his apartment.At the bar in the present day, Chuck remembers all that he and Lyle went through and decides they should take their act to Morocco.In Ishtar, Morocco, as a desert archaeological camp is attacked, Professor Barnes orders his associate, Omar (J.C. Cutler), to escape with an important, newly discovered ancient map that could provoke war in the Middle East. Omar barely has time to give his sister, a left-wing French-Moroccan agent named Shirra Assel (Isabelle Ajani), the map before he is killed. His last words promise that no one will find the map except "two messengers of God."At the Ishtar airport, Shirra Assel, disguised as a man, approaches and persuades Chuck to exchange passports and suitcases with her so she might travel to Marrakesh. She quotes: "It is a matter of life and death." She convinces him that he can visit the American Embassy and have his passport easily replaced. When the duo learns that a new passport will take days to process, Chuck convinces Lyle to travel to nearby Marrakesh and do the show alone, while he checks into a hotel in Ishtar.At the Marakesh Hotel, another American, named Jim Harrison (Charles Grodin), invites Lyle to dinner. After Chuck chats about show business, Jim reveals he works for the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). He is in Morocco to prevent the Communists from staging a coup to overthrow the royal Moroccan government. Jim hints that his agency likes to recruit people like Chuck as operatives.At his solo show, Lyle launches into a rendition of "Bridge Over Troubled Water," and is soon drowned out by an apathetic crowd. Suddenly, Chuck appears and belts out "That's Amore," and show tunes that revive the audience. The new act of Rogers and Clarke, are a hit and are applauded. Later, Chuck says he is going for a drive to get some air.Later that night, Shirra wakes Lyle in his hotel room as she tries to reclaim her suitcase. As Lyle tackles her, she claims Chuck is a CIA agent, and the contents of the suitcase are necessary to overthrow the tyrant running her country. Lyle is skeptical about her story, but she convinces him to help her find a camel seller named Mohammed, and buy a blind camel. She leaves carrying the heavy suitcase.Meanwhile, Chuck secretly meets Jim Harrison, and learns his movements have been tracked through a pen with a hidden microphone that Jim gave him as a gift. The CIA has reason to believe that dictator Muammar Gaddafi in Libya is interested in Shirra's map, and the CIA wants to take possession of the document before Gaddafi does. Chuck claims not to know where Shirra is. However, Jim Harrison believes Lyle knows where to find her after appearing to have a sexual encounter with her at the hotel, and being recruited by her as a left-wing terrorist. Chuck does not believe any of Harrison's assertions but Harrison gives Chuck a beeper to stay in contact.In the morning, Lyle sneaks out of the hotel room, and Chuck follows him. The friends meet and CIA agents follow them to an outdoor market. Chuck and Lyle are kidnapped, but Harrison's associates shoot the captors and panic breaks out. The two friends run, and ask an enterprising local to help them hide. The youth takes them into his uncle's rug shop. The kidnappers confiscate two rolled up rugs, thinking the songwriters are hidden inside. Dressed in Moroccan garments, Chuck and Lyle escape over the rooftops.Meanwhile, Harrison visits Emir Yousef (Aharon Ipalé) at his palace in Ishtar to explain that the Americans, Chuck and Lyle, are merely pawns. The Emir insists the songwriters will be mistaken for "messengers of God." If radical Shiites gain possession of the map they will use it as a sign to overthrow the Emir. The Americans must be killed to demonstrate that God does not favor those who oppose the Emir.As Lyle negotiates for a blind camel at the Ben Sheli Camel Market, Chuck confronts Shirra in a nearby hotel room. He accuses her of recruiting Lyle as a Communist but she denies it. She thinks he stole her map and gave it to Jim Harrison. He denies it but promises to keep her secret. When Chuck finds Lyle, he has bought a blind camel with poor teeth. As Lyle leaves to change his disguise, Harrison appears and warns Chuck that the Emir's men want to kill them. Harrison hands Chuck two canteens with water, and a compass with escape instructions. When they reach a safe hotel at a desert oasis, CIA agents are supposed to rescue them, but it is a ruse. Harrison hopes that the desert trek will result in their deaths.Meanwhile, Shirra's associates convince her the songwriters must be executed. Shirra gives Lyle a beaded necklace with instructions to drop a trail of beads, heading into the desert. At night, the beads will glow and the friends can find their way back to town.The next morning in the desert, Chuck collapses from heat exhaustion. As Lyle helps his friend, vultures appear. Elsewhere, an associate of Shirra's tells Prof. Barnes they plan to announce over radio that they are in possession of the ancient map.The songwriters survive a sandstorm and think they see Moroccans with a truck. Chuck instructs Lyle, dressed in flowing robes, to get water. The Moroccans are actually Australian gunrunners who mistake Chuck for an auctioneer. As Chuck pretends to auction guns to the locals, CIA agents see that the songwriters have stopped moving through the desert and send a helicopter to retrieve their bodies. When the helicopter pilot realizes they are alive he retreats, and the auction is cut short.At his palace, the Emir tells Harrison he wants the "the messengers of God" killed and the helicopter returns to the desert.Parched and exhausted, Chuck and Lyle think of song lyrics to keep alert, and soon discover Shirra's map sewn into the lining of Chuck's jacket. Just then the helicopter appears and when the pilot shoots at the songwriters, they return fire with guns they collected from the auction. The helicopter leaves but returns with a second Apache attack helicopter. However, Shirra appears in a truck. She arms Chuck and Lyle with powerful guns, and the two helicopters are forced to abort their mission.Chuck and Lyle manage to smuggle the map into the United States. Back in New York, Marty, the talent agent, negotiates with Harrison to implement social reforms in Morocco, get rid of the Emir, and back and promote an album and worldwide tour for Chuck and Lyle. If the CIA succeeds, the songwriters promise not to sell the map to the KGB or anyone else. As a show of support, Harrison arranges for American forces and CIA agents to attend Chuck and Lyle's show at Chez Casablanca. Shirra thinks their songs are wonderful.In the final scene, back in America, Chuck and Lyle's "Live in Concert" album can be seen in the window of Sam Goody records.
    

Elaine May

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