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Mystery Diagnosis


            In this third film of the 'Night at the Museum', the opening scene is in Egypt, 1938. A team of archaeologists are digging into a tomb to look for a valuable artefact. A young boy falls through a hole that leads his father and the others to what they came for - the Tablet of Ahkmenrah. Several local men see the Tablet and say "The end will come". The Tablet is later kept hidden for centuries.We move to the present day in New York City where a big event is going on at the Museum of Natural History. Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) is overseeing the event while Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais) is in attendance. Larry gathers the favorite exhibits, including Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams), Attila The Hun (Patrick Gallagher), Sacajawea (Mizuo Peck), Dexter the monkey, and Rexy the T-Rex skeleton. Elsewhere, Jedediah (Owen Wilson) and Octavius (Steve Coogan) are watching a funny cat video on YouTube. Larry even meets a caveman named Laa (also Ben Stiller in a dual role), who was modeled to look like Larry as a joke.What nobody notices is that the Tablet is starting to corrode, causing all the exhibits to act wild and cause chaos during the event. The exhibits attack guests and rum amok all over the place. Dexter slaps Larry a few times. Everyone later calms down, uncertain of what happened until they look at the Tablet and notice the corrosion.Larry goes home to find his son Nicky (Skyler Gisondo) throwing a party where he's acting as the DJ. Larry sends all the kids out. Now that Nick's done with high school, he has pursued other interests and is looking to become a DJ full time. It's also clear that the relationship with his father has strained a bit.On his quest to find answers, Larry discovers a picture of the boy and his father during the expedition. He learns that the boy is C.J. Fredericks, better known to Larry as Cecil Fredericks (Dick Van Dyke), the former museum security guard that tried to steal the Tablet for himself. Larry finds Cecil in a retirement home along with his elderly cohorts Gus (Mickey Rooney) and Reginald (Bill Cobbs). Larry explains to Cecil what's happening, and he recalls hearing "The end will come". He suggests that they find Ahkmenrah's parents, who are all the way in the British Museum of Natural History. Larry later goes to McPhee, who is in the process of being fired, and convinces him to call the British Museum and allow Larry to travel there with Ahkmenrah. McPhee gets on the phone and makes it happen.Larry and Nick travel to London to get to the British Museum. They meet the security guard of that museum, Tilly (Rebel Wilson), an obese but cheerful young lady who is eccentric and thinks being an American security guard would be cooler than where she's at. When Larry gets into the museum, he sees that Laa, Teddy, Sacajawea, Attila, Dexter, Jed, and Octavius all sneaked into the crate to join in the adventure. Since the Tablet now brings the British exhibits to life, the gang first encounters a triceratops skeleton that chases after them. They are saved by Sir Lancelot (Dan Stevens), who punches the triceratops in the nose. Unfortunately, the gang has also lost Jed and Octavius, who have fallen through the ventilation chambers.The gang goes off to find Jed and Octavius, when they come across a multi-headed snake exhibit that comes to life and attacks. Meanwhile, Jed and Octavius land on a Pompeii exhibit just as it erupts. The gang fights off the snake monster while Dexter finds Jed and Octavius. Larry defeats the snake with a defibrillator while Dexter pees on the lava to save Jed and Octavius.The gang finds the tombs of Ahkmenrah's parents, Merenkahre (Ben Kingsley) and Shepseheret (Anjali Jay). Merenkahre is at first hesitant to reveal the truth behind the Tablet, but he eventually admits that it was a gift made for his son when he was a baby. It needs moonlight to retain its magic. Then, Lancelot reveals his true intention to steal the Tablet as he holds Nick with a knife to his neck. Larry surrenders the Tablet, and Lancelot runs off with it to find Guinevere (King Arthur's lady) and win her over. The Tablet continues to corrode, causing Teddy's arms to freeze up and Ahkmenrah to age.The gang races to find Lancelot, but are cornered by lion statues. Larry distracts them with a flashlight like in the cat video. Tilly then locks Larry and Laa in the security room. There, Larry starts to think about his relationship with Nick. Laa points to his head and Larry thinks he means he needs to open his mind to Nick's interests, but Laa just smashes the glass with his head and breaks Larry out.Lancelot has made his way to a local theater showing a Camelot production starring Hugh Jackman as King Arthur and Alice Eve as Guinevere. The knight runs onstage with the Tablet and tries to convince Alice to join him, though she insists that she's just an actress. Larry and the gang catch up to them and chase Lancelot to the roof where he takes a torch and the Tablet. Larry follows him (after telling Hugh how amazing he is) and corners Lancelot on the roof. However, the Tablet's magic is now almost completely gone. Teddy, Sacajawea, Ahkmenrah, Dexter, Jed and Octavius all freeze up. Larry convinces Lancelot (whose nose has melted a bit because of the torch) to give him back to Tablet to save his friends. He lets the moonlight hit it, restoring the Tablet's golden look and bringing everyone back to life.Larry returns the Tablet to Merenkahre and decides that it and Ahkmenrah should stay there at the British Museum. The other exhibits decide to go back with Larry, knowing that even though they won't come back to life anymore, they'll still have had their adventures with Larry. Larry returns to New York and bonds with Nick.Three years later, a British History event is happening at the Museum of Natural History. Tilly shows up to McPhee's office with a box. McPhee says that Larry left the museum and went on to become a teacher. Tilly opens the box and takes out the Tablet. She brings McPhee to show all the exhibits come to life, including some new light displays. McPhee has a big smile on his face as the exhibits play music and party together. Outside, Larry watches and smiles.
    

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb


            Tim (Paul Rudd) is a rising business executive with a nice apartment, gorgeous girlfriend and a Porsche - but desperately wants to make it to a 7th floor office where he works, as those on the 6th floor 'smell like cabbage'.He proposes a risky new strategy at a board meeting to Lance Fender (Bruce Greenwood), head of the corporation, to attract the $100m financial portfolio of the Muellers from Switzerland enticing them in through a love of modern art.His idea is accepted, and he manages to take the lead on the project when Mueller takes a shine to him, yet to really impress the boss he must spring a surprise at the next exclusive, and secret, dinner party Fender organizes at his mansion - he must bring the oddest character with him as a guest to entertain the execs. It'll be a 'Dinner for Schmucks' - his boss's version of a 'pig party'.Tim meets the perfect candidate - Barry (Steve Carell) - when Barry steps out in front of his Porsche while on the way to the local taxidermist with his latest diorama masterpiece. Barry is invited over to Tim's apartment, and he excitedly agrees as he doesn't get out too much.Things soon fall apart for Tim when Barry enters his life. His girlfriend, Julie, leaves him when Barry stops her outside the apartment (thinking she is Darla the mad stalker) and tells her that Tim is sleeping with someone else and what they had was a mistake.Tim breaks into Kieran the artist's apartment with Barry, but doesn't find Julie. Instead he hears that Kieran is planning to make his move now that she is available and back on the market.Knowing that Julie will be joining Kieran at his ranch for the weekend, they go to Barry's IRS office to look over his accounts and find the address of the secret rendezvous, when they meet Barry's nemesis and boss - Therman (Zach Galifianakis, the funny one from The Hangover) - who has the power to control Barry with his mind. They don't find the address - and in fact only manage to get Tim audited. Outside the office we find out that Therman is sleeping with Barry's ex-wife.Soon enough it's the lunch date with the Muellers. Tim tells Mueller (David Walliams) and his wife that Julie couldn't make it because of an injury - until Barry turns up with Darla, pretending to be Julie. Somehow there is talk of marriage, and everyone persuades Tim (who always carries around the ring) to propose to Darla - who accepts, just as Julie walks into the restaurant - and then walks out of his life.Barry feels responsible, and as they sit in the Porsche while Darla goes mental on the paint job, he swallows his pride and asks for the address from Therman.At the Ranch Tim apologises to Julie, but Barry overhears the plan about the party and that Tim thinks he is an idiot. Tim leaves alone.But things are ok as he receives a call later from Mueller, who understands about the lunch date because they have a similar Dinner for Schmucks thing in Switzerland - and that his guest is killing them at the party - Barry has made it to Fender's Dinner party. Tim joins his friend, where they must compete against a ventriloquist married to his puppet, a woman who can communicate with dead animals, a Beard champion and a Blind Fencer (the guy from the 'IT Crowd', who steals the best line in the movie - and in fact any movie I have seen in a long time --- Fencer: "I love to paint", Exec: "Really? Are you any good?", Quick reply: "I don't know").Barry impresses the crowd with his mice dioramas - until Tim's rival introduces ... Therman!Therman starts to control Barry with his mind. After a quick pep-talk, Tim convinces Barry that he has the power of 'brain control', which beats 'mind control' any day. Barry uses his new power on Therman and wins the contest.Tim feels guilty and announces to 'the schmucks' that the execs are just using them, and that they are the real idiots, yadda yadda. The blind Fencer goes crazy, and while attempting to stab people slices off Mueller's finger and starts a huge fire. Tim and Barry need to escape through the window.Back at Tim's place, Tim goes on about how losing Julie was the worst thing to happen to him - little knowing that Julie is standing behind him. She takes him back, and Barry convinces Kieran to leave. Both now out of work, their only comfort is each other - and Barry.So, through Mice Dioramas and cutaway scenes we're soon told that Tim and Julie managed to open a modern art museum for the Muellers, Kieran and Barry joined forces to develop their own unique style of art, Barry got together with Darla, Therman wrote a self help book that was only popular in the insane asylum where he was held, Barry organizes a breakfast club for his new "schmuck" friends, and Tim and Julie finally married and honey-mooned in Paris - with Barry hiding under the bed.After the credits we're told that Fender's company went bust, and he was described by Forbes as the biggest loser of all.(JT - HowDoestheMovieEnd.com)
    

Dinner for Schmucks


            This first appeared on realmoviereview.comThough it was released worldwide as Fast Track, its US title was The Ex (likely because of a copyright issue), which doesnt really suit the film. The young stars do a good job, and there are some laughs, though the story is only slightly more elaborate than a sit com. Still, it has a few shining moments.Zach Braff is Tom Reilly, a soon-to-be father who finds himself forced to take a job with His father-in-law (Grodin in a very good performance) at an ad agency where he finds him self pitted against his wifes high school friend, and fling, Chip Sanders (Jason Bateman) for his corporate survival.This formula comedy is a mix of TVs The Office and Meet The Parents, which means that it also has a higher frustration level than I usually enjoy in my comedies, as things get progressively worse and worse for poor Tom Reilly. Still, this film will appeal to fans of the hot young cast, and of the movies mentioned above. For others, its not bad and shouldl give a giggle or two.
    

David Guion

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