
            The year is 1954, set in the fictional South Florida town of Angel Beach. The radio-alarm clock starts, and the radio DJ (Don Daynard) says the typical good morning stuff. Edward "Pee Wee" Morris (Dan Monahan) wakes up after an interrupted morning glory, especially because his mother (Ilse Earl) enters without knocking first. He picks up from under his mattress his hidden schedule, and goes to Angel High School by car.At the high school, Mickey Jarvis (Roger Wilson) is appalled that Pee Wee has no other option than Wendy (Kaki Hunter) to lose his virginity to. Wendy is considered a kind of loose girl, so she is probably envied by plenty of girls who would like to do as she does but won't dare so. Rumors run rampant. Wendy tells freshman Mindy (Jill Whitlow) to ask the hulking jock Anthony "Meat" Tuperello (Tony Ganios) why he's got such a nickname. Meat alleges he doesn't know; Mindy wants to see for herself whether it's because he's got a big dick, but his friends dissuade him, because he'll be expelled for good if there is reason for suspension again.The gang takes eggs to throw them to strongman Tim Cavanaugh (Cyril O'Reilly). Coach Beulah Balbricker (Nancy Parsons) terrifies both her junior male colleague coaches and students, and she is very strict about not allowing any sexual pass to her female students. Some students have created glory halls in the girls' locker room to see them naked, having a shower, etc... This time, they have missed the action. A blonde (Cathy Garpershak) wraps herself in a towel and Balbricker turns the lights off.Mickey goes to Cherry Forever (Susan Clark), a local prostitute, at her swamp shack home. All the gang goes to visit this woman. All the boys have to get naked and be inspected before the sexual act to prove they are clean. Steve (Rod Ball), Pee Wee, Tommy (Wyatt Knight) and Frank Bell (Jack Mulcahy), stand in line for Cherry to inspect them, and she makes derogatory comments about some of them. Cherry walks out of the room for a minute into the bedroom with Billy (Mark Herrier) and Tommy (Wyatt Knight). It's all a prank; while the happy boys are waiting stark naked. In the bedroom room, Cherry makes sexual noises and moans, while Billy pretends he's having sex with her. Tommy is talking to a drunk black man he lets in through a window, and they will pretend that he is her husband and has macheted Tommy. Tommy then stumbles into the room full of fake blood stains, and then the "husband" appears with the machete. All the naked boys run away naked. As soon as they leave the home, they realize it's all a prank, and come back in indignation.Two cops (Julian Byrd and Bill Fuller) watch one of the runaway boys, Pee Wee, who has not realized that it was all a practical joke because he ran to the main road immediately. The cops take him to the cafe where everybody is laughing their asses off. One of the cops tells a motorbike rider not to drink beer while driving.The next day, Pee Wee is even more adamant to lose his virginity. Wendy teases Pee Wee with a trophy, an elephant-sized condom. Balbricker sees them and take the two students away. Lynn Honeywell (Kim Cattrall) is a gymnast/cheerleader who loves teasing the two young coaches, Roy Brackett (Boyd Gaines) and Fred Warren (Doug McGrath) mercilessly.That night, the boys go to a strip joint called Porky's, where a midget (Peter Conrad) is using some women as Santa Claus' reindeer and country music resounds. One of the customers crosses the line with one of the strippers (Pat Lee) and the bouncers (Cash Spadard, Cash Baron and Roger Womack) put him out.Pee Wee and his friends try to negotiate the price, but for $100, they can only have three girls for half an hour. The owner Porky (Chuck Mitchell) tells the boys to go to a dark room through a door. All the customers know that there's a prank involved in that. Porky pulls a lever and the five boys fall into the swamp. They enter Porky's mad as hell again. The patrons mock the five boys. Porky has the support of all his customers. There is an attempt for another brawl outside, but the teenagers end up in the swamp again. At that moment, a deputy (Gary Maas) and Sheriff Wallace (Alex Karras) appear with a nightstick. Wallace gives the boys a fine for having broken blinkers - some which he has broken himself with his bat. They have to pay him on the spot, but the Sheriff decides to go easy on them, as the boys are first-time offenders. Wallace tells them to go back to their county and never come back.Back at Angel Beach, the gang goes to their hang-out 'Deadbeats' a local drive-in restaurant. A waitress (Joanne Marsic) brings hot-dogs and the five think about taking action. Mickey wants revenge, but his older brother Ted Jarvis (Art Hingle) tells him not to mess with Porky, because he's just a dangerous man who will stop kidding around and become serious if they mess with him.A day or two later at gym class, the coaches have to stop students from getting too rough while playing up, and Cavanaugh (Wayne Maunder) gets suspended because of dirty play. Brian Schwartz (Scott Colomby) and Jimmy fight in the grass. When questioned how he learned to fight like that, Brian says that "you have to fend for yourself when you are a Jewish boy", so that he learned how to box when he was younger. Pee Wee tries to tell Brian that Billy is a troubled young person.There is a telephone prank. Pee Wee asks the waitress whether Michael Hunt is around, so she ends up saying through the loudspeaker system if anybody has seen "My C---". Everybody cracks up. Pee Wee is there to get the laughter of everybody, even Wendy, who was fooled by him.Meanwhile, Billy gets drunk and insults the two cops after he learns that he was rejected for a scholarship to Princeton University in New Jersey. Their friends try to hide the fact that he's drunk, pretending that he's diabetic. One of them also tells the cops that he's been dumped by his girlfriend, and that he got drunk to forget. That makes the cops leave away.Just then, Mickey appears with blood in his face - he's tried to take his own back onto Porky. He drives away so as not to be taken to hospital. His friends are worried they have to babysit him.Back at school, Cavanaugh tells one of the coaches about the fight. Miss Balbricker tells Miss Lynn Honeywell not to mess with boys, but she refuses to listen, and insults the female coach. She threatens to have Honeywell thrown out because of gross misconduct. Honeywell and the Roy Brackett hide in the boys' locker room, and she gets turned on. She jumps on top of him. Honeywell and the youngest of the coaches fuck in the boys' locker room. She shouts as if she were an ambulance, and everybody laughs about it, except for Balbricker. The coach tries to calm her down but it's too late, as all the school knows about it - she screams again, this time resounding as a police car. The coach puts a dirty sock onto Honeywell's mouth so that he can finish off. The other young coach cracks up. The young coach appears in the gym as though nothing had really happened, but the senior coach tells him not to get too attached to Angel High School.The three boys, go back to look at the naked girls in the girls' locker room behind the pipes, through the peepholes. Through his hole, the only thing that Pee Wee can see is Nola, a fat girl, blocking his view. The rest tell Pee Wee to keep quiet. Pee Wee tries to change sides, but nobody would change their place. He can't resist his frustration and he shouts "God dammit, will you move it, you fat ass?", betraying their position. All the girls, including Wendy, get restless. They wrap themselves in towels. They discover the boys and talk to them, teasing them. Some of the girls stay behind and tell them to get closer. Tommy puts his tongue through the hole, and a girl puts soap onto it. He ups the bet and puts his dick through the hole, so the girls back up a little bit. Suddenly, Miss Balbricker appears and the girls exit the shower area, but Tommy thinks that it's a sexy girl. Miss Balbricker picks Tommy by the penis and pulls. Tommy manages to get away.Mr. Carter (Eric Christmas), the high school headmaster, is appalled by Tommy's behavior. While the men can't stop cracking up, Balbricker leaves in outrage. He wanted Carter to hold a naked police line-up situation so that she could identify the dick of the offending studentMr. Cavanaugh appears once again to embarrass his son and hit him, but this time, he doesn't back down with the support of his friends.At a prom dance, Mickey appears with a bloodied face again. It was Porky. The plan to pull their revenge on Porky begins. They allure Porky and his men to the small bridge which they had rigged. When Porky and his men step on it, they fall to the disgusting swamp. The boys blow up the whole place after having demolished much of it with a towing truck. When the sheriff appears, the boys run away and blow the bridges up. The sheriff's car gets stuck in a falling bridge which wasn't completely blown up because the dynamite device didn't work properly. Porky's car goes after the boys' car. The boys stop when they arrive at the high school band meeting point.At that moment, Porky and the sheriff are out of line. Porky tries to convince the local police officers to produce the offending boys to him, but that will be exactly the same as admitting that minors - the boys were 16 and 17 - were in a non-allowed place, but the sheriff is too dumb to shut up. Ted Jarvis does to Porky's the same that Porky did to Tommy's car the first time. He damages the radiator, smashes a light, blows a tire, shoots the boot. Porky puts his hand in his brother's mouth until he promises not to visit Ted's county again. They have to push their car back to their county.All the boys rejoice and they give Brian a hero welcome - he had to come back to his county by the river. Pee Wee is the only unhappy one, because he's still a virgin. One of the gang calls out for Wendy.Wendy and Pee Wee go away together to the school bus, where Pee Wee asks for a rubber to shag Wendy. He tells everybody to shut up. He has to ask for a second one, because the first one was too big. Beulah Balbricker charges against Tommy, because she wants the see the mole in Tommy's penis. Ted takes Balbricker away. Pee Wee shouts like Tarzan of the Apes to celebrate that he's not a virgin anymore. Wendy takes him inside for more.One of the boys looks at the camera and says "Jeez", while shrugging his shoulders.
    

Porky's


            
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Up the Creek


            The film opens with images from the first part of Porky's.Edward "Pee Wee" Morris (Dan Monahan) wakes up shouting "I've been laid!" with joy. It's the following morning, after all the events in the first film. He increases the line in his maturity chart - the one he keeps under his mattress. His penis doesn't look as responsive as always, but he thinks it may be a resting time after the novelty of sex with a woman. His mother (Ilse Erl) enters his bedroom while he's got a boner - after watching topless women at  The National Geographic  magazine. Mrs. Morris is dumbfounded when she looks at Pee Wee's chart.Back at Angel Beach High School, Pee Wee brags about having Wendy Williams (Kaki Hunter) snatched from everybody else. His friends tease Pee Wee, saying that Wendy didn't think it was such a big thing. Wendy wants a better man - Wendy admits that it was all a prank planned by his friends: she really ended up satisfied.The Drama Club is producing a Shakespeare-based play for a theater festival. All the boys in the festival are participating. Pee Wee interrupts a natural sciences lesson - the vivisected frogs are disgusting. Pee Wee is blamed for a joke which was not even his, but the science teacher (Howard Neu) tells him off. Pee Wee is jealous of Wendy, who is talked about a lot. She says that she's faithful, that people will talk about her without really knowing her, and that boys will always brag about things they haven't really done. Pee Wee tries to trust her, and says that he'll "kick the ass" of any boy who badmouths her from that moment on.Tommy Turner (Wyatt Knight), Tim Cavanaugh (Cyril O'Reilly), Billy McCarthy (Mark Herrier) and Anthony "Meat" Tuperello (Tony Ganios) are part of Pee Wee's gang. They are on friendly terms with new student Johnny Henry (Joseph Runningfox), who says hello to them. He'll participate in Shakespeare's play as well, alongside with Pee Wee and Tommy.Anthony has to dress up as a god fairy, which creates plenty of mockery around, especially with Pee Wee. Later, they disguise themselves to go to a carnival to see a well-endowed girl to dance something similar to the dance of the seven veils. The boys visit Gloria, and her MC (Peter Conrad). Pee Wee refuses to get on stage wearing his costume. When he is forced to come out on stage, he looks like a green Puck.Just then, Coach Ms. Beulah Balbricker (Nancy Parsons) and Reverend Bubba Flavel (Bill Wiley) arrive, demanding that the play be shut down for its content and that Johnny Henry has been cast as the lead role. The group takes their case to principal Mr. Floyd J. Carter (Eric Christmas) where the fanatical Rev. Flavel makes his case over it. Mr. Carter cannot stand up to Flavel's shouts and screams. Flavel and Balbricker allege that Shakespeare is filth. Carter dismisses them after reading romantic passages from the Bible to counter Flavel's ranting.That evening, Pee Wee finds another girl, and he takes her to the cemetery. He runs away. It's a prank; as Pee Wee shows himself stark naked. Laura gets undressed and wraps herself around Pee Wee. It looks like Laura is choking to death. Steve and Tommy say that Pee Wee is to blame for Laura's death. They can't call Ted (Art Hindle), the same cop who helped them out in the first film. Steve frightens Pee Wee, dressed as a zombie. So now, they accuse Pee Wee of killing two people; he runs away butt naked. Ted and another cop see Pee Wee naked running on the road, but they don't stop to pick him up. They are dumb folded by Steve's disguise, but not afraid. He passes out.The next day, Somebody (Will Knickerbocker) has thrust a dummy against Johnny Henry, a Native American, kissing a white girl. The commissioners arrive; they are Hurley (Fred Buch), Couch (Richard Liberty) and Gebhardt (Edward Winter). The commissioners will support the play, in spite of the racist comments.The next day, Pee Wee and the others stage a prank at Coach Balbricker. Noticing how she always goes to the bathroom on the hour every day, the gang sneaks away from gym practice to the basement to place a live corn snake in the pipe leading up to the very toilet where Balbricker is releving herself. Balbricker sings and dances  Black Magic  while on the toilet. They open up the pipe and push the corn snake up. Balbricker runs in panic with her pants and panties down to the gym of the high school. All the school hears her screams and sees her. Everybody panics, especially two cheerleaders (Francine Joyce and Wendy Becker), when they see the snake crawl out of the girls locker room. Tommy picks up the harmless snake and the coaches congratulate him for that.Later that day, Carter interrupts rehearsals, when Johnny Henry was taking his role too realistically. Officially, the Shakespeare production is called off, but the classroom can rehearse as a private project classroom. One of them mentions that one of the commissioners exposed himself.Seward County Commissioner Gebhardt initially gestures Steve, Pee Wee, Wendy and the rest of the gang that Flavel's demands are ludicrous and unreasonable. The commissioners seem to think well of the production; Gebhardt praises them to fight for their ideals and for what they want. He tells them that he'll do a favor, in return of which he'll be offered another favor, and that's how things work, so they have nothing to worry about.The next evening, the gang finds John beaten to a pulp. The KKK opposes a Seminole character - his role is Romeo - to kiss a white girl - Wendy's role which is Juliet. A cross is burning next to him. 5,000 signatures are given to Geghardt against the play.The play neverless goes on. During the swordfight scene, Johnny's sword breaks and he has to pretend to keep on fighting with a broken sword in an absurd way. They give him the leg of a female mannequin.Flavel arrives and insists in shutting the production down just as Pee Wee in his green-skinned costume is giving his monologue. Anthony shows Flavel his balls. Mrs Morris tells him that the gesture wasn't helpful. Gebhardt gestures for the gang to keep calm, but he finally betrays them. Gebhardt is a pervert who will go out with Wendy, who is 17 and therefore still a minor. Wendy wants revenge.At Seward Court, in the basement, commissioners love silent black-and-white porn flicks (stag films). They make derogatory terms. Tommy records them with a tape audio recorder.Wendy prepares a punch which looks like vomit. She goes to La Fontana di voglio, a fancy restaurant to meet with Gebhardt for their date as he is friends with the Maitre d's (Robin Paradise and Ted Richert). Wendy is wearing large fake breasts with the fake vomit in them.At the rally, the KKK is led to the school gym away from the gathering talk to John. The gym is packed with Seminole Indians and hostile looking African American locals. Pee Wee and the gang tells the KKK that they want to shave the KKK members' heads in retribution for their assault on Johnny.At the restaurant, Wendy enters dressed and talking like a prostitute, shouting and making a big scene out of it so that everybody looks at her... which everybody does. She jumps on top of Gebhardt and tries to shag him there. She puts her boa hat on a gentleman (William Kerwin)'s head, and she sings that she's turning on 17 that day, and that she was 14 when she first met him. Wendy will cry rape if he goes away: she says that she's pregnant of him.Back at the rally, during Rev. Flavel's speech, he sees he KKK members appear stark naked with shaved heads. Then, the recording with the commissioners badmouthing Flavel and talking about the porn flick is played for everybody to hear. The public gets restless and Flavel loses it, swearing like a maniac to the press.At the restaurant, Wendy further humiliates herself and Gebhardt by getting drunk and drinks the gentleman's cup, and she repeats her date's name and position. Wendy then uses the fake vomit in her fake breasts and vomits in a pool, and all the restaurant-goers leave. The gentleman even saw Wendy take out the vomit from one of her fake breasts. Pee Wee appears and takes a picture of Gerbhardt in the fountain pool. They leave to the sound of  We're going to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz, because because because.... The news jumps to the newspapers and Gernhardt quits his post.In a montage of the closing;The Shakesperean Festival is on again, announced on the first page.Johnny is a hero with the play and the community.Wendy and Pee Wee are together again.The KKK members try to discreetly leave. One of them is kicked in the head by sweet ladies with umbrellas.The restaurant will be no more.Flavel tries to strangle one of his old accomplices.
    

Porky's II: The Next Day


            In this third Porky's film, now set several months after the events in the previous two films, in early 1955 in the fictional South Florida beach town of Angel Beach. In the opening scene, Pee Wee has a dream during graduation where he is naked under his graduation robe, and it falls off during the commencement for everyone to see.During the semi-final basketball game for Angel Beach High, the cheerleaders promise them an orgy if they win. The boys do so. After the game, they are led to one of the girls' homes, and everyone strips down to their underwear and jumps in a swimming pool. In the pool, the girls throw their underwear out. The boys do likewise, and swim toward the girls. Soon, but too late, they realize the girls are clothed after all and wind up parading nude before the clothed girls and a home movie camera.Porky now owns a riverboat with a casino and strip club. According to Brian, Porky is extorting money from Coach Goodenough because he owes money to him. The gang decide to go to the boat to take pictures of the illegal casino to give to the local D.A. During this time, Meat runs into Porky's sex-crazed daughter, Blossom, who forces herself on him. The boys' plan fails because Porky catches them in the act and is about to kill them. But when they mention the State Championship game, he realizes that they could help him out by throwing the game so he can bet against them.Meanwhile, Meat has a problem with cutting up dead animals in biology class. The gang goes to Miss Webster's apartment to get a copy of the final exam. They discover her and Mr. Dobish, the School Guidance Counselor, having rather kinky extramarital relations. The following night, Pee Wee, Tommy and the gang take photos of Miss Webster and Mr. Dobish through the apartment window.A letter is written to Ms. Coach Balbricker arranging a rendezvous at a motel with an old boyfriend of hers, while Pee Wee is enticed to the same motel room by the promise of a night of passion with a beautiful Swedish exchange student. Tommy tricks Pee Wee into going to another location while he heads to the motel room. Ms. Balbricker arrives first followed by Tommy, and they are horrified to find themselves unclothed and in bed with each other. To make up for their prank on Ms. Balbricker, the gang contacts her old boyfriend and actually gets them together.During the final game, Meat is benched because Miss Webster intentionally failed him. The Angel Beach team is loosing due to Meat not being able to play. Things look more grim when the envelope containing the black-and-white blackmail photos of Miss Webster and Mr. Dobish are misplaced. However, Miss Webster later at half-time discovers the blackmail photos and a note, causing her to change her mind and she phones the Coach to tell them that there has been a mistake and Meat can play in the game.. The second half results in a victory for Angel Beach while Porky is outraged. Blossom tells him that Meat is her boyfriend and they "went all the way", infuriating him even more. He then suggests to his two subordinates that Meat and Blossom be married.During the senior prom, Meat is attacked and abducted by Porky and his men. The gang decide that this is the last straw and go after them. Just as the wedding is about to start aboard Porky's showboat casino, the power goes out and Meat is liberated by Billy and Brian. Meanwhile, Porky's boat is chasing the guys in their rowboat and they are headed for the drawbridge. After the rowboat gets through, Pee Wee lowers the bridge, resulting in the destruction of Porky's boat.At graduation, the guys trick Pee Wee into taking off all his clothes, except the graduation gown. As he's about to get his diploma, Principal Carter steps on the gown, causing it to come off and reveal Pee Wee in his nudity, just as he dreamed at the beginning of the film.
    

Dan Monahan

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