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Cop Killers

Flesh Gordon


            Bumbling Los Angeles, California, police officer Melvin White (Murray Langston) is given a promotion to work the night patrol by the midget Captain Lewis (Billy Barty), who suffers from chronic flatulence. Melvin tells his new partner, Kent Lane (Pat Paulson), he is disappointed to be working nights because he uses his evenings to write a novel about the police force.On Melvin's first night out with Kent, the officers are involved in a shoot-out with a gunman, and Melvin accidentally shoots a child, though no consequences befall him. Sometime later, a comedian known as "The Unknown Comic" performs a routine at a comedy club with a paper bag over his head. The comic later tells his therapist, Dr. Ziegler (Jack Riley), that he fears losing his job on the police force if his identity becomes known. Talent manager Kate Parker (Jaye P. Morgan) wants to sign the Unknown Comic.Sometime later, Melvin and Kent respond to a robbery call at a bar, and the owner says the perpetrator wore a paper bag over his head and told jokes. Elsewhere, the Unknown Comic tells Dr. Ziegler that someone is setting him up for the crimes. On stage, the comic tells crass sex jokes. After his performance, Edith Hutton (Lori Sutton) agrees to have a drink with him, but deflects his sexual advances because she has a boyfriend.The robberies continue, and officers investigate. Melvin's co-worker and rookie officer, Sue Perman (Linda Blair), attends a performance by the Unknown Comic. She later tells Melvin that Capt. Lewis found paper bags in his locker, and suspects Melvin of committing the robberies. Sometime later, Melvin responds to a call at a residence, and Edith Hutton, answers the door. She cries on his shoulder and claims a man was peeping through her window. Melvin learns that she is dating a nightclub owner named Tex. Edith confesses that she is interested in the Unknown Comic because of his impending wealth.Kate, the Unknown Comic's manager, books him a Las Vegas, Nevada, show and Sue invites Melvin to see the Unknown Comic in Las Vegas. However, he turns her down because of his interest in Edith. In Las Vegas, Edith asks the Unknown Comic to remove the bag covering his head, but he refuses. She then asks him to perform a benefit show for Tex's bar. Edith becomes jealous when the Unknown Comic notices Sue by the poolside. When Sue approaches for the comic's autograph, Edith insults her, and Sue punches Edith in the face, knocking her into the swimming pool. The comic loses interest in Edith and flirts with Sue. However, she puts off the paper-bag comedian by confessing her interest in Melvin.A few days later, Melvin and Kent respond to a drug call, and smoke marijuana with the perpetrators, one of whom is a large breasted woman known only as the 'Big Bust'. Later, the stoned officers paint their faces black and visit a night club frequented by African-Americans. While Melvin is in the bathroom, the club is robbed by a man with a paper bag over his head. Kent notices his partner's suspicious activities, and suspects him of the crime.Sometime later, the officers are accompanied by the farting Capt. Lewis to a performance of the Unknown Comic, in hope of learning his identity and arresting him for the robberies. Capt. Lewis makes it clear that Melvin is under suspicion for being either the comic or the criminal.At the show, Melvin stands in the audience as the Unknown Comic appears onstage. During the performance, a gunman wearing a paper bag over his head robs the nightclub and tells jokes to the crowd. Edith Hutton tries to stop the bandit, but he shoots his gun and flees. Chaos ensues as the crowd and officers pursue the masked man. Outside, several fans of the comic wear paper bags over their heads, adding to the confusion. Melvin and Kent corner the criminal, and Kent tosses him a gun so that the robber and Melvin can have an old-West style duel. Melvin shoots the criminal, and removes the bag to reveal his therapist, Dr. Ziegler. The doctor confesses his crimes, saying he was bored and needed the money.Melvin races back to the nightclub to determine who was impersonating him as the Unknown Comic. After chasing the comic down the street, Melvin removes the bag and discovers Sue, who admits she tried to help keep his identity hidden while Melvin was under the watchful eye of Capt. Lewis. Melvin thanks Sue, and takes her to bed where they have sex for the first time.
    

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