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CT Fletcher: My Magnificent Obsession

Pros vs. Joes

Forged in Fire: Knife or Death

Santa's Slay


            Sewage workers Gordie Boggs (David Arquette) and Sean Dawkins (Scott Caan) are huge wrestling fans. They seem to know a lot about it except the biggest piece of it; wrestling is scripted. Their favorite wrestler is WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jimmy King (Oliver Platt) who personifies a modern king. Unbeknownst to them, King is actually a low life wrestler who burned out his fortune and didn't show a lot of respect for his boss, his family, or his co-workers. WCW promoter Titus Sinclair (Joe Pantoliano), fed-up with King's attitude and antics, establish a plan to screw King out of his title and destroy him. To do so, he hires WCW wrestler Diamond Dallas Page (Himself) and his crew of wrestlers. He books a match between King and DDP and keeps everyone thinking that King is gonna win.So Sean and Gordie go to the WCW monday nitro show as fans, believing they're about to witness another King victory. What ensues is their favorite wrestler getting beat up for real in the ring, loosing his championship belt and getting publicly fired from WCW for life. After the match, the two wrestling fans express their rage in their septic truck, resulting in a car crash.After this event, Gordie believes that the car crash was fate and that they should make Jimmy King once again World Champion. Sean agrees to help Gordie, and the dimwitted duo go on a quest to put their King back on his throne. The next day, they meet Isaac (Chris Owen), a nerdy wrestling fan who's father seems to think everything Issac does is for pussies. They asks their new friend to use his internet knowledge to find out where the washed-up wrestler lives. Isaac succeeds to find King's address, and the boys go to an unexpected-looking neighborhood. They find King's estranged wife Eugenia (Caroline Rhea) and his uneducated son Frankie (Tait Smith) who both happens to be far from the queen and prince type. Eugenia reveals that King left them a while ago to run with another girl and never returned or sent anything for child support. They later meet his parents (Kathleen Freeman and Lewis Arquette), who reveals that their son borrowed their mobile home, and never returned it. The duo finally find King, with the help of Isaac, hidding in a trailer park, drunk and dressed like a woman. After paying King 30$ for a 5 minutes encounter, they have a conversation in which King says that he gave up on wrestling. Gordie and Sean, with their stupidity, anger King to the point where he suddenly attacks the two boys. The boys encourage King to beat them up, convincing him that he can still fight and that he should fight DDP again. King accepts the offer and knocks out the boys with his finishing move to thank them. The two boys wake up the next day to find Jimmy King ready to take a shot at wrestling again.While on a road trip to the WCW arena, Gordie sends letters to his angry father, an overzealous cop who wanted Gordie to follow in his footsteps to be a policeman and who hates wrestling because he deem it unmanly and fake. Gordie tells his father that he will not join him in a policeman test, making him frustrated to the point where he shoots the letter with his gun. They arrive at the WCW arena where they hide King in a port-a-potty and meet one of the Nitro Girls, Sasha (Rose McGowan). When DDP mocks Jimmy King on camera, King comes out of the port-a-potty and beats him up. King ask for a rematch which Sinclair agrees with a few conditions. The match will be a triple cage match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship between DDP and King. If King wins, he not only regain his title but he also gets a million dollar cash prize. However, if King loses, he will never wrestle again in WCW or anywhere else. Gordie and Sean agrees with the terms, not listening to King's protest.Later that night, during a party, Sasha flirts with Gordie, saying she was impressed with him, and invite him on a date at her appartment where she has sex with him. Meanwhile, King, out of sheer panic, tries to run away but falls into a sewer. The boys find him and convince him they found the perfect trainer for him. They find Sal Bandini (Martin Landau), an old school trainer who likes to train his students by beating them up and putting them through excruciating submission holds. Sal agrees to train King and therefore starts beating him up. The boys also think that King should have a partner to back him up. They turn to WCW wrestler Bill Goldberg (Himself) who used to be King's partner. Goldberg refuses to help King due to way King treated him in the past. That night, Sal is assaulted and injured by WCW thugs Sid Vicious(Himself) and Perry Saturn (Himself). At he hospital, Gordie overhears Sasha on the phone with Sinclaire and realises Sasha was faking their relationship to spy on them, and breaks up with her. Under Sal's advice to hide until the match, Gordie and Sean bring King to their hometown of Lusk, Wyoming. On the way, King goes to his wife to apologies and promises, after two kicks to the groin, to use the million dollar cash prize to make it up to her and their son. Upon their arrival, Gordie's father comes along to pick up his son and convinces him that his dreams of wrestling are stupid. That night, Sean and King try to bust Gordie out of his room where he's been confined to study until the next police exam, but Gordie refuses, saying it's time he gets real with his life.King and Sean holds an audition to find an entourage to help King during the match. Many candidates show up, but no one makes the cut and King realises he's gonna have to do it alone. As they are about to leave, Gordie comes to say goodbye and apologies to King for not going with them. King dismiss the apology because he understands and thanks Gordie for everything he's done for him. Meanwhile, Sean meets up with Wendy (Melanie Deanne Moore) whom he first tought of as one of the guys but realised he has developped a soft spot for her while she was always infatuated with him. He gives her a New-York Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt and confess that he's been thinking about her. She thanks him by bringing him inside the RV and have sex with him before he leaves. The night of the match, King is ready but very nervous. He's joined by Sean, dressed to impress as he's going to act as a manager to King. The match starts and turns rapidly to nightmare for King when it is revealed that DDP's goons were hiding under the ring and therefore, are inside the cage with him. One of the goons is a masked wrestler who turns out to be King's son Frankie who proceeds to beat up his dad. As King is getting beat up by the goons, out comes WCW wrestlers Goldberg, Booker T, Billy Kidman and Disco Inferno to help him.Unfortunately, they can't get in the cage since de door is padlocked. Out comes another man on a motorcycle who uses the entrance ramp as a jump to crash through the cage door and take out some of the goons. That man is Gordie, dressed in a wrestling version of his father's uniform. His father sees his son on TV and starts cheering him on with is collegues. Gordie and the others deal with DDP's possee and defeat them while King and DDP climb the cage to get to the belt. Sasha tries to get back together with Gordie as the fans love him, but is knocked out by a ladder after not listening to Sean's warning. Meanwhile, in the highest cage, DDP manages to throw King down to the lowest cage. As he attempts to reach for the belt, Page is knocked down to the lowest cage himself by WCW wrestler Sting who was threatened into helping DDP earlier by Sinclaire. The two climb back to the top again and fight it out until King manages to slam DDP all the way to mat, knocking him out in the process. King retrieves the belt and is once again champion. After this, Sean and Gordie beat up Sinclaire before tossing him in the crowd where the fans beat him up some more. Goldberg asks King to re-team with him, but the new champ announces his new partner will be Gordie and their manager will be Sean. Gordie's father is cheering and accept his son's decison while Wendy is seen at work jumping and screaming her love for Sean.Afterward, Sean is back in Lusk, at the convenient store where the story began, telling the story to some kids and saying "dreams can come true". Just as one of the kids ask Sean to prove that his story is real, the store clerk, known for being mean to kids, is projected throught the glass door by Goldberg, Gordie and King. All ends happily as the heroes ride off in a stretch Hummer (driven by Nitro Girl Chae), together with Sal, now fully recovered in a hot tub with beautiful women and ends it by saying "God bless America".The end credits feature bloopers and a montage of kicks to the groin.
    

Ready to Rumble


            Seven years after the events in the first film, Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme), now an ordinary human, is a technical expert who is working with the government with his partner Maggie (Kiana Tom), who has been through countless hours of combat training with him, in order to refine and perfect the UniSol program in an effort to make a new, stronger breed of soldier that is more sophisticated, intelligent, to spare using living soldiers in the battlefield. All of the new UniSols, which are faster and stronger than the original UniSols, are connected through an artificially intelligent computer system called S.E.T.H. (Michael Jai White), a Self-Evolving Thought Helix.When S.E.T.H. discovers that the Universal Soldier program is scheduled to be shut down because of budget cuts, it takes action to protect itself.Killing those who try to shut off his power, and unleashing his platoon of super soldiers, led by the musclebound Romeo (Bill Goldberg), S.E.T.H. spares Devereaux, only because Devereaux has the secret code that is needed to deactivate a built-in program that will shut S.E.T.H. down in a matter of hours. With the help of Squid (Brent Hinkley), a rogue cyberpunk, S.E.T.H. is able to put his program in a UniSol which Squid made superior to any of the newer models (White).Not only must Luc contend with ambitious reporter Erin Young (Heidi Schanz), who will not leave his side, but Luc must also contend with General Radford (Daniel von Bargen) who wants to take extreme measures to stop S.E.T.H.. S.E.T.H. has arranged Romeo to kidnap Luc's injured 13-year-old daughter Hillary (Karis Paige Bryant), killing Maggie in the process.Luc is the only person who can rescue Hillary, because Luc knows firsthand how a UniSol thinks, feels, and fights. Luc infiltrates the UniSol building, but finds Maggie, now revived as one of the UniSols. S.E.T.H is able to figure out the code himself, decides to kill Luc and raise Hillary himself, who he has healed using UniSol technology. During the fight Luc covers S.E.T.H. in liquid nitrogen then shatters S.E.T.H.'s frozen body. Luc then engages into a fight with Romeo, which ends when Maggie finally rebels against the UniSols by shooting Romeo, and allows Luc and Hillary to get out of the building on time. However, the bomb that General Radford had placed was deactivated by S.E.T.H.. As Romeo and the platoon of Universal Soldiers start to march out for battle, Luc fires at the explosive charge blowing up the building, killing all the Universal Soldiers.
    

Universal Soldier: The Return


            Synopsis: CHECK POINT is a story about truth, justice and the American way of life all told within a classic styled action/thriller. Port City North Carolina: During a routine camp out, a local vagrant discovers plans for an invasion in America. When he tries to notify the local Sheriff about his discovery, the Sheriff dismisses his claims and has him locked up for loitering. When the Sheriff notices odd interactions with other towns folk he begins to look into the vagrant's claim of a sleeper cell living amongst the locals within this small town. After evidence of a beheading is exposed, others begin to fear that the insurgents' attack on hometown USA. Questions and tempers begin to rise. Why this little beach community with its Norman Rockwell way of life? A town where everyone knows one another... or so they thought. When the truth is blind and justice seems lost, It will take an army of five unlikely heroes banding together to infiltrate the insurgents and foil their invasion plans. War is Hell and hell comes home at the Check Point. -Thomas J. Churchill
    

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