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Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey

You Can See Everything

The Dropout


            [This version is a close adaptation of the Broadway stage musical with the dialogue entirely in song]In 1815 France, convict Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) is released on parole by prison guard Javert (Russell Crowe) after serving a 19-year sentence for stealing a loaf of bread as well as repeated escape attempts. After several months of drifting around France, Valjean is offered food and shelter by the Bishop of Digne (Colm Wilkinson), but steals his silver during the night. He is caught by the authorities, but the Bishop lies by saying that the silver was given as a gift, and secures Valjean's release. Touched by the Bishop's love, grace and generosity, Valjean breaks his parole and vows to start an honest life under a new identity. Javert swears he will bring the escaped convict to justice.Eight years later in 1823, Valjean has become a wealthy factory owner and mayor of the small town of Montreuil-sur-Mer. A young woman named Fantine (Anne Hathaway), one of his workers, is discovered to be sending money to her illegitimate daughter, Cosette (Isabelle Allen), who lives with the unscrupulous Thénardiers (Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter) and their daughter Éponine (Natalya Angel Wallace), and is dismissed by the foreman (Michael Jibson). Left with no alternative, Fantine turns to prostitution. During an argument with an abusive customer, Javert, now a police inspector, arrests Fantine, but Valjean intercedes and takes her to a hospital where she is diagnosed with a terminal case of tuberclosis.Later, Valjean learns that a man believed to be him has been arrested. Unable to condemn an innocent man, Valjean reveals his identity to the court before departing for the hospital. There he promises to a dying Fantine that he will look after her daughter. After Fantine dies, Javert arrives at the hospital and attempts to arrest Valjean. But Valjean escapes and finds Cosette at the Thénardiers brothel/halfway house. Valjean bribes the couple to allow him to take Cosette away. After Valjean confides in Cosette about her mother passing away, he promises to be like a father to her. Valjean makes contact with the Bishop of Digne who agrees to give him and Cosette new idenities to hide from the authorities.Nine years later in June of 1833, Jean Maximilien Lamarque, the only government official sympathetic toward the poor, is nearing death. Students Marius Pontmercy (Eddie Redmayne) and Enjolras (Aaron Tveit), together with street urchin Gavroche (Daniel Huttlestone), discuss fomenting a revolution to overthrow the government. Later Marius catches a glimpse of Cosette (Amanda Seyfried), now a young woman, and instantly falls in love with her. Meanwhile, despite Cosette's questioning, Valjean refuses to tell her about his past or anything about her late mother, Fantine.At a café, Enjolras organises a group of idealistic students as Lamarque's death is announced. Meanwhile, Éponine (Samantha Barks), now Marius's friend, leads him to Cosette, where the two profess their love for one another. Lamenting that her secret love for Marius will never be reciprocated, Éponine fatalistically decides to join the revolution. Later, an attempted robbery of Valjean's house makes him mistakenly believe that Javert has discovered him, and he flees with Cosette. As they leave, Enjolras rallies the Parisians to revolt, and Cosette sends a farewell letter to Marius.The next day, the students interrupt Lamarque's funeral procession and begin their assault. Javert poses as a rebel in order to spy on them, but is quickly exposed by Gavroche and captured. During the ensuing gunfight, Éponine saves Marius at the cost of her own life, professing her love to him before she dies, which leaves Marius devastated at the loss of his best friend. Valjean, intercepting a letter from Marius to Cosette, goes to the barricade to protect Marius. After saving Enjolras from snipers, he is allowed to execute Javert. However, when the two are alone, Valjean chooses to free Javert instead and fires his gun to fake the execution. Initially disbelieving, Javert wonders at Valjean's generosity.With the majority of the Parisians not joining the revolution as the students expected, they resolve to fight to the death. Everyone is killed by government troops in the final assault on the street barricades, but Marius is saved when Valjean drags his unconscious body into the sewers. Thénardier, scavenging the dead bodies, steals Marius's ring. Valjean recovers and escapes the sewers carrying Marius, but is confronted at the exit by Javert. Javert threatens to shoot Valjean if he refuses to surrender, but Valjean ignores him. Unable to reconcile the conflict between his civil and moral duties, two things which he always considered the same, Javert commits suicide by jumping off a bridge into the Seine river.Later, Marius mourns for his friends but Cosette comforts him. Revealing his past to Marius, Valjean tells him he must leave because his presence endangers Cosette, and makes Marius promise never to tell her. A few months later, Marius and Cosette marry; the Thénardiers crash the reception and testify that they saw Valjean carrying a murdered corpse through the sewers. Thénardier unwittingly shows Marius the ring that he stole from him as "proof." Recognising the ring, Marius realises that it was Valjean who saved his life. Marius and Cosette rush to Valjean after being told his location by Thénardier.As Valjean sits dying in a local convent from his long-term heart condition, he perceives the spirit of Fantine appearing to take him to Heaven. Cosette and Marius rush in to bid farewell. Valjean hands Cosette his confession of his past life, and the spirits of Fantine and the Bishop guide him to paradise, where he joins the spirits of Enjolras, Éponine, Gavroche, and the other rebels at the Barricade on the rue Soufflot.
    

Les Misérables

First Reformed


            Jake Davis (Russell Crowe), a Pulitzer-winning novelist, finds himself fighting against the world when a fatal car accident leaves him to raise his 5-year-old daughter, Katie, all on his own. Overcome with guilt from the loss of his wife, he struggles with the daily routine of raising a child compounded by his overbearing relatives intent on taking her away from him. As the narrative weaves back and forth between the 1980s, and present day, we come to learn how 30-year-old Katie (Amanda Seyfried) battles the demons that stemmed from her troubled childhood and simultaneously watch how Jake fights to hold on to the thing he loves most - his daughter, at the cost of his fortune, sanity, and ultimately even his own life. This beautiful performance-driven-piece reads thematically as such American classics: American Beauty and The Pursuit of Happyness both unforgotten and inspiring.
    

Fathers & Daughters

Mank

The Housemaid


            A voiceover describes the state of the world. A place where time has become currency. Thanks to scientific advances people can stop aging at 25, but it comes with a catch: after reaching 25 a person is genetically-engineered to live only one more year. The time is used as currency, you can earn more at work but you sell it for goods and other services. Once your time runs out, you die.Will Salas (Justin Timberlake) is a young man living in Dayton, a poor ghetto in the southwest USA. He lives day by day, making just enough to pass each day sharing time currency with his perpetually youthful mother, Rachel Salas (Olivia Wilde). She is 50 today, but has two days work in the garment district, she gives Will 30 mins for lunch. They will celebrate when she gets back. Everyone has a luminous green digital clock on their arms, counting down. Will is generous and easily gives 5 mins to a young beggar girl, Maya.On the way to work he buys a coffee, the price has just gone up. Walking to work they see dead bodies in the streets. Will works in a metal stamping plant, making shiny cassettes. After his shift he notices he is paid less, quotas have gone up. Will meets his friend Borel (Johnny Galecki) at a bar. There they see a man treating everyone to drinks and drawing attention to his arm, which lists him as having over 116 years. Will knows that the man did not belong to the ghetto and was likely to draw attention to himself. Sure enough the Minutemen, a criminal gang, shows up, armed and ready to forcibly take the man's time. The gang leader, Fortis (Alex Pettyfer) is actually age 75. Borel and the rest of the bar scatter but Will interferes and helps the man escape. The two flee from the Minutemen and eventually find an old building to hide in. The man introduces himself as Henry Hamilton (Matt Bomer) and tells Will of the time-is-currency system. It had been established as a means of population control after the advances made in anti-aging processes, but as people were still surviving. Inflation and lower 'wages' were designed to keep the population in control. This currency system also meant that the rich could live much longer then normal and essentially become immortal, while the poor died. Henry however is tired of living for so long, an indignant Will tells him that the rich basically did not deserve their time. He tells Henry he doesn't want his time. Unwilling to abandon the depressed man, Will offers to stay with the man until the morning. At dawn, Henry passes his time to a sleeping Will.Will wakes alone, with the 116 years of time and a message telling him not to waste it. Through a window, Will sees Henry seated on the edge of the bridge and realizes the man plans to commit suicide. He runs out to stop him, but just misses him as Henry's time runs out and he falls into the storm water channel. Will sees street cameras recording him and runs back home.Will meets Borel with his family, and shows him his new time. To thank Borel for being his friend for so long, Will gives him a decade. Borel warns him that staying in Dayton with that much time was going to get him killed. Will wants to take his mom to New Greenwich.Rachel pays off a 2 day loan at a Weis ATM machine. Sh tries to board a bus to get home but the fare has gone up to 2 hours and she has only 90 mins left. In a panic she has to run. Will is waiting at the bus stop, realizes something is wrong and runs toward Rachel. They meet somewhere in between, but too late, the mother dying in the son's arms. Later Will calls a private stretch Lincoln limo to pick him up and take him to a richer Time Zone. He passes through 4 toll booths with progressive fares into a gleaming modern but sparsely populated City center, New Greewich. He has cleaned himself up to dine at a nice restaurant, a young lady across the room takes notice. The waitress tells him to slow down, to blend in with the rich, and suggests a casino nearby.Meanwhile, Henry's body is discovered by the Timekeepers, a body of authority much like the police. Raymond Leon (Cillian Murphy) notices the street cameras and examines the footage. When he expresses surprise at seeing Will's photo, his colleagues ask him if he knew the suspect and whether or not he had a criminal record. Raymond corrects them, telling them he did not know the current Will Salas but he did know the senior Will Salas. Timekeepers are mobilized to locate Will Salas.At the casino, a tuxedoed Will meets Phillipe Weis (Vincent Kartheiser), arguably the richest man in the world. At a high stakes poker game, Will goes all in and comes out as victor, now with over 1000 years. Phillipe is impressed, as is Sylvia (Amanda Seyfried), his beautiful but sheltered daughter, the girl from the restaurant. Phillipe invites Will to his mansion for another party, and partially to see Sylvia again, Will agrees. Knowing to be prepared, he purchases a Jaguar E type and drives to the Weis mansion on the coast. There Phillipe reintroduces him to Sylvia, as well as his wife Michele (Bella Heathcote) and mother-in-law, all three of whom look the same age due to their wealthy background. The women are followed by guards all the time, but Will convinces Sylvia to let loose and have fun. Feeling oppressed by her father and his men, Sylvia agrees and the two go skinny dipping in the ocean. Sylvia admits wishing that she could often do something wild and crazy. Phillipe had always restricted his family members though, and sure enough he soon comes looking for her. Sylvia and Will manage to dress and make themselves presentable again when the Timekeepers appear and confront Will.Raymond arbitrarily takes back the 1000 years as they don't believe Will's story. Raymond hints he knew Will's father and leaves. Will fights off the other Timekeepers and takes Sylvia hostage, escaping out the mansion. Raymond commits himself to chasing them, even taking personal risks that other Timekeepers avoided. After a car chase, Will manages to throw Raymond off their trail and escapes back to the country with Sylvia, who pleads to be let go. As soon as they return to Dayton the car is wrecked in a trap set by the Minutemen. While Will and Sylvia remain unconscious, the Minutemen discover that Will only has a little time left and was thus worth nothing, Sylvia however had about a decade and so they take hers instead. The men are forced to run before they could take all her time, Sylvia panics because she has never been reduced to having so little time. Will tells her that she should not be worried, as regular people live day by day. Instead, he brings her to find Borel, hoping that he could give them some time. To his grief, he learns that Borel had drunk himself to death with his riches leaving his wife and newborn alone.Will manages to buy them more time by pawning off Sylvia's diamond earrings, but knows it isn't enough. He calls Phillipe and demands a 1000 year ransom for Sylvia's return, to be sent to the time welfare office. Raymond listens to the call and warns Will not to follow his father's path. Will learns that his father's crime was not stealing time but "something much more serious". Raymond, deduces where Will was hiding and assures Weis he would bring his daughter back safely. At Will's apartment he explains his father was an arm "fighter" with a trick to win time contests, he demonstrates that you let the other win at first, they get overconfident and distracted just as the last few seconds run down, then the arm can be flipped and the flow reversed.The next day the ransom is unpaid, Will says to Sylvia that it was likely because her father was prevented by the Timekeepers but Sylvia saw it as proof that her father didn't care about her. Nevertheless, Will decides to let her go and tells her to make a call to her family. Since they were in the ghetto after all, he also gives her a gun to protect herself. They kiss and just as they split so that Sylvia can make her call, Raymond appears and nearly shoots an unsuspecting Will. A panicked Sylvia shoots Raymond instead, and Will corners Raymond and attempts to take his time. Raymond however has very little, for it is Timekeeper practice to carry only a little time to avoid being targets. Since Will was planning to take Raymond's car he graciously transfers 4 hours of his own time to him before hijacking the black Challenger car and leaves him alone in the ghetto.Sylvia realizes that using a police car was essentially asking for attention. They end up robbing another limo and passenger, a blond woman dressed like a hooker. They learn that they had both been placed on a wanted poster with a reward of ten years to anyone who could bring about their arrest. Phillipe studies a large map of the world with colored lights and numbers, he assures his business partners that his daughter would not crash the current economic system. An injured Raymond manages to escape the ghetto, verbally harassed the whole time, and meets with Phillipe. Weis attempts to bribe Raymond into 'rescuing' his daughter but Raymond tells him that due to Sylvia's actions, an arrest warrant will be placed for her as well. If Phillipe interferred and tried to save his daughter, Raymond will see him arrested as well.Will trains Sylvia how to use a handgun, she offers to help him get time. Will and Sylvia drive an armoured car through a Weis bank window and scoop up many time cassettes. They invite the onlookers to grab what they can also. The large status board shows the imbalance. This endears them to most people in the ghetto. Weis watches the news report of the robbery as his wife chides him for suffocating them. In a motel the two get closer, then sense something is up and just manage to escape Ray and his squad. Ray alone takes after them over rooftops in a running gun battle, refusing to let them go. They manage to bribe a bus driver and escape.At a seedy hotel they rent the whole building for privacy. Fortis and his gang roust civilians until one admits where he saw the two runaways. In the hotel room the young couple describe how each went through the change at age 25 when the green numbers begin counting down. Fortis arrives and explains it is not just the rich and the Timekeepers oppressing the normal citizens, the Minutemen are being allowed to do so as long as they did not start preying on the rich as well. Fortis challenges Will to an arm fight to the death, as the two men lock arms together Will's time runs down fast. Will uses his trick to reverse the flow, then manages to pull a gun from his boot, kills the henchmen and times out Fortis. Will is dismayed and figures it will take a million years to change the system. Sylvia knows where they could find that time.Sylvia returns home, pretending to turn herself in, distracting her father and his multiple guards, so that Will could sneak up on him. Under gunpoint, they take Weis to his office and open a large vault where they find a single cassette with 1 million years. Phillipe tries to say it is always in an individual's interest to live forever even at the cost of another's, but the two runaways are unconvinced. After locking Phillipe in the office the two again return to Dayton. While keeping the Timekeepers distracted, they pass the one-million cassette to Maya, the little girl.Raymond pursues Will and Sylvia to a remote area running toward Livingstone, the next town over, just as they all begin to run out of time. Will sees that Ray is a Dayton homeboy, an honest cop just doing his job, but the timekeeper has forgot to get his per diem and dies in front of them as he times out. With only seconds to spare Will notices the police car in the distance, runs and manages to transfer the timekeeper's per diem from the centre console device to himself. He runs back to Sylvia and just manages to transfer some time, saving her life. The two of them only have enough for a day.The Daytons stop work and march toward New Greenwich. Watching the news, the Timekeepers decide that their jobs are finished. With 100 years bounty on them, pulling up in front of a large institution, Will and Sylvia draw their guns to make their biggest heist.
    

In Time

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

The Last Word

Epic


            The movie begins with Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) walking through downtown New York while on the phone, trying to track down several individuals to see where they were on the day they found out WWII was over. In her hand she has a picture of the famous kiss that took place between a sailor and a nurse, and she's trying to confirm if it was staged or spontaneous. As she's in Times Square, where the picture was taken, she finds the right person who can verify her question.She meets with her boss at the New Yorker who asks her to be very certain that the information is correct, which she is, and he compliments her on her work. She asks him if she can start to submit some stories to him as she really wants to write, but he says she's such a good fact checker that there is no need to want more. He then asks her about the trip she is going on. Sophie and her fiancé Victor (Gael Garcia Bernal) are leaving on a pre-honeymoon trip to Verona, Italy, because he will be opening up a restaurant in a few weeks and there will be no time to go after the wedding.She heads to the restaurant to find Victor unhappy because she can't write like she wants to, and finds that instead of packing, he's in the kitchen reinventing the noodle. She's annoyed because they're leaving for Italy in 12 hours, but he sweeps her off her feet and makes her smile and forgive him.They fly to Italy and stay at a hotel in Verona, where their room has a small balcony. They are both so excited to be there but for different reasons. Victor has been called by his manager, who has arranged for him to meet with some of their suppliers while he's there, and they spend the first day traipsing around the countryside meeting with suppliers at the wineries and in the cheese shops. Victor speaks fluent Italian and Sophie doesn't, so she's left out of most of the conversations. She's visibly getting more and more annoyed and finally snaps a little when Victor says that they are now ready to go on to the forest 125 kilometers away to see his truffle supplier. Sophie says she doesn't want to go, and wants to do some sightseeing with him, but Victor really only cares about the food. He makes her feel guilty by saying that he'll do what she wants, even though it's obvious that it's not what he wants, and she relents and offers to go sightseeing alone while he goes onto see the truffles. He claims its a win-win situation but Sophie isn't sure.We later see Sophie wandering through the streets of Verona by herself and she stumbles upon a tiny alleyway where a crowd of people stand. It's the alley below the balcony made famous by William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet, and it's known as Juliet's balcony. There are many people there, especially young women and girls writing letters which they pin on the wall for Juliet. Sophie stops one girl who's sobbing and asks if shes ok, and the girl, speaking only Italian, makes it clear that her heart has been broken.Sophie stays to write and spots a woman taking down all of the letters and putting them into a basket, taking them away with her. Sophie is curious so she follows the woman to a house several doors down and discovers the office of a group of women known as the Secretaries of Juliet. They take down the letters each day and write back offering advice and comfort. Sophie is so intrigued and fascinated that she stays for the day learning about them. She's invited to stay for dinner by one of the women but she says she needs to get back to Victor, who will be missing her. The mother of the woman sends her back with dessert for them both.She goes to the hotel to tell Victor about her find, but he can't concentrate on what she's saying, as he's too busy smelling and then enjoying the food she's brought back with her. He goes with her the next day to meet the woman who prepared the food and tells Sophie that he really wants to stay to learn how to cook from her. Sophie is disappointed once again but is excited to spend the day with the Secretaries of Juliet, seeing what they do. As she's helping to take down the letters off the wall that afternoon, she comes across a hole in the wall where a letter was left more than 50 years ago. It's from a young British girl, Claire, who writes that she left her love, Lorenzo Bartollini, and didn't run away with him as she had promised she would. She asks Juliet for guidance but, until now, the letter hasn't been seen. Sophie is moved by the letter and insists that she must write back. She spends all day perfecting her words and sends the letter out.She returns to the hotel and Victor tells her about an amazing opportunity. He has to go to a wine auction for several days but he can only get one ticket. He tells her that if she doesn't want him to go he won't go, but it's obvious he's already made up his mind. She tells him to go and he tells her that she can stay and write with the women and do her thing and it's a win-win situation again.Several days later, Sophie is sitting with the Secretaries and a man comes in asking who wrote the letter to Claire. Sophie is shocked that it actually found her, and the man turns out to be Claire's grandson, Charlie (Christopher Egan) who has come with his grandmother on her journey. Sophie desperately wants to meet Claire (Vanessa Redgrave), but Charlie refuses, saying that she's done enough, and angrily leaves. Sophie follows him to meet Claire who has been waiting under Juliet's balcony in the alleyway. Sophie introduces herself, to Charlie's annoyance, but she and Claire quickly become friends. They have dinner together that night and Claire reveals she has come to find Lorenzo and apologize for being such a coward, and shows that she still has the ring he gave her. Charlie is worried about this plan, but Sophie asks if she can come along, as she would love to write a story about it all. Charlie and Sophie argue but Claire says that she would love for Sophie to come with her.
They drive to the village where Claire first met Lorenzo, and meet a man called Lorenzo Bartollini but he's not the right one. They regroup and try to narrow down how many people there are by the same name, and map them throughout Tuscany, since Claire is certain that he would never have left the area.They show a montage of clips as they meet different Lorenzo Bartollinis and each time it's not the right man. However, most are very attracted to Claire and offer that they would be happy to be her Lorenzo whenever she likes. Each night they return to a local hotel in Sienna, where they regroup and Sophie and Charlie come to a truce and then eventually a better understanding of one another as they reveal why Charlie is so protective of his grandmother. He explains that his parents were killed in a plane crash when he was young, and Sophie tells why she is clinging to Victor so hard (her mother walked out on her and her dad when she was very little). Sophie calls Victor each night but he's distant and uninterested in what she's doing and keeps adding just a few more days to his trip to do more of the things for his restaurant. Meanwhile, Charlie has taken a very big interest in Sophie and tries to spend more time with her each day. However, as they continue to look for Lorenzo Bartollini, they discover that one recently died and Claire is obviously upset because she has no way of knowing if it was her Lorenzo. Charlie takes his anger out on Sophie and says that it's all her fault, and what would she know about loss. Her mother didn't die, she just left. Claire scolds him and says that in Sophie's case it was worse, because her mother chose to leave her. They are quiet as they return to the hotel that night and Charlie says that it's time to go home. That night, Sophie comes out to speak with Charlie who's lying on the ground looking at the stars. She joins him and tells him that she's not sorry that she sent the letter, but she is sorry that they are leaving. Charlie says the same thing, and that he doesn't want to go, meaning that he doesn't want to leave her. He kisses her and she kisses him back and then suddenly realizes what she's doing and gets up and goes inside. Charlie doesn't know whether or not to say anything, and we see that Claire has been watching from her window the whole time.The next morning they are all quiet and Claire tries to lighten the mood and encourage them to not be afraid of their feelings. She suggests that they go and get a bottle of wine at a vineyard that they pass to prolong their journey. As they drive through the vineyard Claire spots a young man working in the fields and she begs them to stop the car. She looks like she's seen a ghost and says that the young man IS her Lorenzo. Sophie goes to ask him his name and it's Lorenzo Bartollini. Charlie gets excited and joins Sophie as another man comes up and asks what's going on and says that HIS name is Lorenzo Bartollini. Sophie deduces that they must be his son and grandson. They ask where their father is and are told that he's out riding and will be back soon. Claire begs them to leave before he returns. Charlie and Sophie try to convince her but she hears the sounds of hooves and watches as HER Lorenzo (Franco Nero) shows up on horseback. His son and grandson tell him her name and it's clear that he remembers her very well and they embrace while Charlie and Sophie look on.Lorenzo invites them all for dinner and they visit and catch up while Charlie and Sophie try not to look at each other at the table. Lorenzo reveals that he lost his wife, Rose, just as Claire has lost Jack, her husband, but that Destiny must have wanted them to get together, and he thanks Sophie for making it all happen. Sophie is uncomfortable being around Charlie and asks Lorenzo for a ride from one of his sons back to Verona. Charlie looks on in disbelief as she leaves and his grandmother asks what he's waiting for, and how many Sophies does he think he'll meet? He drives back to Verona meaning to confront her about his feelings for her, and sees her on the balcony hugging Victor who is happy to see her. He decides that he can't ruin her happiness and he drives away, missing the fact that Victor gets interrupted by a phone call again and walks away from Sophie who looks miserable.Back in New York Sophie is showing her story about the letter to her boss who is enthralled and wants to know what happened next. Sophie says sadly that she didn't stay in touch. She asks what her boss thinks and he tells her to buy stock in the Italian Airlines because of the number of women who will be flocking to Verona. Sophie is overjoyed that he's printing her story and he asks her if she has any more for him. She is on her way out to lunch with her friend to celebrate when she is handed her messages and mail by the receptionist. She has received a wedding invitation from Claire and Lorenzo, for their wedding that weekend in Sienna, and Claire has included the letter that Sophie found that started it all.Sophie heads to the restaurant where she proceeds to tell Victor that she will be going to the wedding, but alone. He tries to protest but she breaks off things with him and heads home to pack for her journey, leaving him alone with his kitchen.She arrives at the wedding looking for Charlie and surprises him that she came. He looks very happy to see her and she starts to tell him why she's there when she's interrupted by a woman named Patricia, who Sophie believes is his date. She heads inside and watches as Lorenzo marries Claire. As they are enjoying the reception Sophie is struggling not to cry while watching Charlie, then Claire interrupts and asks if she can read aloud the response that Sophie sent to her. The letter is wonderfully written and centers around the words What If and encourages her to follow her dreams. Everyone applauds the letter and Sophie smiles and excuses herself from the reception. Charlie notices that she's upset and follows her. He chases her behind the building but she seems to have disappeared, but she appears on a balcony above him. She tearfully tells him that she broke up with Victor because she's in love with him but that since he's with Patricia now she wishes him well. Charlie interrupts saying that Patricia is his cousin, not his date and proceeds to climb up to the balcony to Sophie, telling her that he's in love with her too. He asks her where she wants to live and talks about how London is wonderful and he can make her happy there but if she wants to live in New York then he will be more than happy moving there so long as he can be with her. She agrees and as he's leaning in to kiss her the vine he's climbing snaps and he falls to the ground. Sophie rushes to him and asks if he's ok, and he asks her if anyone saw him fall. She looks up to see the whole wedding party looking on but lies and tells him 'No' as she kisses him.~Beth~
    

Letters to Juliet

The Testament of Ann Lee


            20-year-old Sophie Sheridan (Amanda Seyfried) lives with her mother Donna (Meryl Streep) on the small Greek island Kalokairi where Donna runs a hotel called Villa Donna. Sophie is planning to marry her fiance Sky (Dominic Cooper)and wants her father to be present to "give her away," but does not know who he is. After reading Donna's diary from 20 years ago, she concludes he is one of three men: Sam Carmichael (Pierce Brosnan), Harry Bright (Colin Firth), or Bill Anderson (Stellan Skarsgård). Without telling her mother and fiancé, Sophie mails invitations to all three ("I Have a Dream"), and hopes to find out which is her father. Sophie tells her two best friends, Ali (Ashley Lilley) and Lisa (Rachel McDowall) about her potential fathers ("Honey, Honey"). All three men come to the island, thinking Donna asked them to come, and Sophie hides them upstairs in the old goat house,getting them to agree not to reveal she wrote to them pretending to be her mother Donna. Other guests have also arrived from the harbor:Donna's longtime friends, single,fun-loving writer Rosie (Julie Walters) and rich three-time divorcée Tanya (Christine Baranski).While Donna is making repairs to the hotel she cannot afford (Money, Money, Money), there is a tremor and the dolphin mosaic in the courtyard floor splits. Donna hunts flooring supplies in the goat house, hears noises upstairs, and peers inside the trap door and window. Recognizing the men she had dated,Donna panics,but tries to take another peek at them(Mamma Mia), but cannot get inside the locked room. Finally, she climbs to the rooftop, and then falls through the top door(opened by a member of the Greek chorus whom Donna and the other characters apparently cannot see). Donna, unable to handle the memories, asks the three men to leave the island, so they simply stay in the harbor on Bill's boat. Seeing the three men has sent Donna into shock, her two friends, Tanya and Rosie, try to reassure her (Chiquitita). Donna explains the 3 potential fathers are on the island, and comments, "it's like a hideous trick of fate," when some bystanders instantly laughed. Tanya and Rosie ponder the quiet bystanders, and Rosie mutters, "It's very Greek" Tanya and Rosie look at the Greeks then follow Donna into the house (Greek comedy).However, Donna's depression continues, so Tanya and Rosie remind her of her free-spirited past (Dancing Queen) and Donna rebounds; they all sing together and dance through the streets, joined by many women and girls of the town, dancing down to the harbor pier(former ABBA member Benny Andersson appears playing the piano in this scene). Sophie visits the three men on Bill's boat and convinces them to stay for her wedding after hearing all three men's memories of Donna (Our Last Summer). When she hears Sky, she jumps into the sea and swims to him on the beach. There, they discuss their meeting and their love for each other (Lay All Your Love On Me), but Sky is ambushed by his buddies for the bachelor party.That evening, the three women, at a hen party, recreate their old 80's style musical duo, Donna and the Dynamos (Super Trouper) to entertain at the bachelorette guests. The three men come to the party, and the crowd separates, singing and dancing (Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!). Sophie talks to Bill, and he realizes he could be her father. She asks him to give her away at the wedding. The masked guys from Sky's bachelor party invade the hen party in a wild dance (Voulez-Vous). In the commotion, the other two men also conclude that they could be the father, and separately, each tells Sophie that he will be the one to give her away at the wedding. Surrounded by her mother, her fiancé, and all three potential fathers, Sophie faints over her dilemma.To avoid contention between the three men, Sophie instead asks Donna to give her away. Harry, feeling responsible for missing 20 years of Sophie's life, insists that Donna accept a very large monetary gift to cover the "cost of the wedding" (and more). While talking to Sam, Donna, making more repairs, attempts to seal the cracks in the central-courtyard dolphin mosaic, but the caulking nozzle splits, further thwarting her efforts of the day. Donna must rush to other preparations. Sam and Donna have tried to talk to each other, but each have concealed their feelings, love, and each laments their love separately (SOS). Meanwhile, Tanya rejects the playful advances of Pepper and some of Sky's other friends (Does Your Mother Know).After confessing to Sky that she has invited all three potential fathers, Sky says that he is unsure of what he wants to do about the wedding. Sophie rushes up to Donna and asks her if she will help her prepare for the wedding and she agrees; whilst preparing, they both reminisce about the times before being engaged (Slipping Through My Fingers). Donna, still unaware of Sam's true feelings, and rushing to the hilltop wedding, tells Sam to stop talking to her(The Winner Takes It All). Then Donna runs to the hilltop. Sam is stunned.During the wedding ceremony, Donna finally mentions the "father" issue, and the secrets begin unraveling: all three potential fathers publicly claim be Sophie's father and agree to happily take a 'third' each. Sophie and Sky decide to postpone the wedding,as Sky wanted all along,and to take a trip around the world together. Sam proposes to Donna, revealing that after falling for her two decades previously, he had to go back to England to break off his engagement. But when he came back to Kalokairi,one of her friends told her she was off with another man(Bill). He went home and got married anyway. But that was a mistake and he is now divorced. He argues that if they marry right away,the wedding party is not wasted. Donna agrees to marry Sam (I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do). Sam and Donna celebrate with their newfound family and friends (When All Is Said and Done). At the wedding, Harry tells Donna she was the first and last woman he ever loved, infering he is gay and pointedly looks at a local lad.During the after-wedding party, Rosie reveals she is strongly attracted to Bill (Take a Chance on Me) he does not reciprocate at first, but eventually gives in. One issue remains to be resolved: as the crowd dances in the courtyard, the central dolphin mosaic breaks open, in a tremor, and a tall spray rains over the party.Donna concludes it was Aphrodite,the Greek goddess of love,influencing events all along. The closing scene of the film shows Sophie and Sky sailing to the horizon to begin their life together, leaving Sam and Donna to live happily ever after on the island ("I Have a Dream").After the closing scene, Donna and the Dynamos perform "Dancing Queen" over the credits. Next, the entire cast sings Waterloo. Finally, Sophie sings Thank You for the Music as the ending credits roll.
    

Mamma Mia!

While We're Young


            The opening scene shows Ted (voice of Seth MacFarlane) and Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) are getting married. Sam Jones (himself) is presiding over the nuptials. At the reception we find out that John (Marky Mark) is depressed because he got divorced from Lori six months ago. We also find out that Guy (Patrick Warburton) is dating Rick (Michael Dorn).Ted does a dance sequence on a giant wedding cake over the opening credits.One year later, the honeymoon is over for Ted and Tami-Lynn. Their bills are piling up and neither are making enough money as cashiers at the local grocery store to make ends meet. Teds mad that she spends so much money on clothes and Tami-Lynn is mad that Ted wastes so much money on weed.Ted meets John at McFeltys Pub to complain. The bartender flirts with John, but hes just not interested. John goes into the bathroom and Ted tries to con a free drink out of her by promising not to tell anyone that Jay Leno hangs out there looking for gay bathroom sex. Just then, John rushes out of the bathroom followed by an apologizing Jay Leno.Back at the grocery store, Liam Neeson (himself) stops in and asks if he can buy Trix cereal because the commercials have led him to believe theyre just for kids. Ted assures him its fine. Liam buys the cereal and leaves. A coworker named Joy suggests that Ted and Tami-Lynn have a kid to save their marriage because "having a baby makes white niggers" happy-pointing to a white family in the store. So, Ted proposes that to Tami-Lynn and they both agree that shed make a great mom.John and Ted get stoned and watch Law & Order. Ted tells John his plan to have a kid. They decide that Sam Jones would be a great sperm donor because hes Flash Gordonalso, Ted is a teddy bear and doesnt have a dick, so he cant get Tami-Lynn pregnant himself.Sam Jones cant be a donor because his sperm count is 1 on account of all the drugs he did in the 80s (up until earlier today, Id assume). On the way out, they accidentally break Sam Jones car window and bolt. They decide to get the next best thing to a super hero and devise a plan to steal Tom Bradys (himself) sperm.John poses as an A/C repair man and cuts Bradys A/C. That night, Brady opens his bedroom door leading to his balcony to cool off. Ted and John break in to jerk off Tom Brady in his sleep and steal his sperm. Brady wakes up and throws them both out. While hiding, John tells Ted that hes hurt that Ted never asked him to be a donor.They go to a fertility clinic so that John can donate. One of the doctors recognizes Ted from the news and shows him a room where sperm is stored for medical studies. John comes in and they start horsing around. Before you know it, John is on the ground coated in sperm samples. The doctor comes back and tells John that hes covered in rejected Sickle Cell samples. Ted says that he's covered in "more black guy jizz than a Kardashian."Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) is now a janitor at Hasbro. He kisses up to an exec (John Carroll Lynch) by telling him that he changes the urinal cakes in his favorite urinal every day because a man that important shouldnt have to smell pee.Tami-Lynn is barren because of all her drug use so the artificial insemination wont work. So she and Ted go to an adoption agency. Again, because of her drug use, they cant adopt. Also, more importantly, Ted is not legally recognized as a human. Hes an object, and the adoption process has raised some red flags.Ted gets fired from his job because he's not a person. He also loses all of his credit cards and bank accounts. His and Tami-Lynn's marriage is annulled as well.John says that they should get a lawyer to prove in court that Ted is a person.The lawyer wont rep them for free, but offers the service of his niece who just passed the bar exam and will take the case pro bono. The niece Samantha Louise Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) takes the case. She's a 26 year old pot-head, but also a super smart lawyer.We go through a lawyering montage where the three of them go through law book and start forming a friendship. Her strain of weed is called Get Me Home and it freaks out Johnny big time. After the montage, they watch Roots. During the Kunte Kinte/Tobe scene, Ted realizes that Kunta is just like him. Sam points out that if theyre able to get Ted legally recognized as a person, hell need a last name. He picks Clubber Lang. Sam has never seen Rocky. It becomes a running joke that shes completely unaware of all pop culture.Back at Hasbro, Donny shows the Exec a newspaper article about Ted trying to become real. He says if they lose the case then Ted will just be property which they can steal, cut open and find out what makes him alive. Then Hasbro can mass produce Teds. The exec asks how much money Donny wants in return. Donny doesnt want money. He just wants his own Ted. So the exec says that theyll hire the best lawyer around Shep Wild (John Slattery) to fight Sam in court.During the court case, both sides argue very well. Theres tons of TV coverage from Fox News to an SNL skit to jokes in Jimmy Kimmels monologue. Ultimately though, the jury finds Ted to not be legally a person. Sam says that its not over. She contacts Patrick Meighan (later to be revealed as Morgan Freeman) the best Civil Rights Attorney. He agrees to meet with the bunch in New York. Theyre banking on him being able to overturn the verdict.To blow off steam, Sam, Ted and John go to an improve club and yell out sad suggestions to the performers like 9/11, Robin Williams, and Charlie Hebdo offices.On the way to New York, the three stop at a diner. The waitress gives John fuck me eyes. Sam asks if she has "fuck me eyes". Ted says she has give us the ring, my precious eyes. Ted drives the next leg of the trip and crashes the car into the roof of a barn. They decide to stay there over night. They find that they're at a giant weed farm. Sam has a giant dick bong and neither Ted nor Johnny wants to hit it. She sings a song and plays a guitar they find. She and Johnny kiss.The next morning they get the car down and head to New York. They find out that New York Comicon is going on at the same time when they almost hit Darth Vader, a Stormtrooper and a Jedi in the crosswalk.Patrick Meighan meets with them and has ultimately decided not to take the case. He says that being a person also means being an inspiration, but Ted has done nothing inspiring. He could have too. He could have been an inspiration to the world, but instead hes a Justin Beiber. They leave.Ted gets mad that nothing is working out for him and that Sam fucked up the case and Johnny doesnt care anymore because he's "porking Gollum". Sam doesn't know who Gollum is, so as Ted storms off, Johnny says that Gollum is a model.Ted goes into Comicon and Donny follows. He runs into Guy and Rick, dressed like the Tick and Worf. They're there to fuck with nerds. Someone dressed as Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles asks Ted for a picture. They go into a back stairwell and it turns out that the Turtle is Donny! They chase each other around for a bit. Ted steals a phone and calls Johnny to tell him whats happening. Donny chases him some more. Ted hides in a display of other Teds. Donny sings Sweet Caroline and Ted cant resist doing the bum bum bum part. Donny catches him and knocks him out. As hes carrying him away, he bumps into Guy and Rick who are still harassing nerds.Johnny shows up and Guy tells him that Ted is with Donny. Before Johnny and Sam can rescue him, Sam Jones sees him and is pissed about his car window. A HUGE rumble of costumed characters breaks out.Ted is duct taped to a table. Donny and the exec are ready to cut him open. Ted offers Donny a hand job while he eats ice cream which Donny considers. Eventually Johnny busts in and saves the day. The Exec takes off. When Sam asks who he is, he says he works for Mattel. Johnny punches Donny, knocking off his toupee.Everyone is leaving, but Donny decides that if he cant have Ted, no one can. So he cuts the rope holding up a giant Starship Enterprise to kill Ted. Johnny sees it and jumps in to save his little Thunder Buddy. The Enterprise hits Johnny, throwing him across the room into a display case. Donny flees, but Teds able to find him hiding with a bunch of other Turtles by playing Tiffany on his phone. Donny cant help but to dance to it. Hes taken away.Johnny is in the hospital in a coma. He starts to flatline and the doctors and nurses make Ted, Tami-Lynn and Sam leave while they work on him. In the morning, the doctor goes into the waiting room to tell them that Johnny didn't make it. They go in to pay their last respects. Sam cries. Ted cries and says that he doesnt how his life works without Johnny. Then.PSYCH! Johnny is alive and faking it. Sam is mad, but caves in quickly because thats what people do at the end of romantic comedies.Patrick Meighan saw the footage of Johnny getting hit at Comicon to save Ted and decides to take the case since Ted inspired heroism in Johnny. He wins the case of course and all of Boston celebrates. Ted proposes to Tami-Lynn again and they adopt a kid who they name Apollo Creed Clubberlang. They get him a toy which looks like a tiny Ted.The EndIn a post-credits scene, a battered Liam Neeson returns the Trix cereal to the store.
    

Ted 2


            Special Forces Army Sergeant John Tyree (Channing Tatum) is home on a two-week leave from Germany. He meets Savannah Curtis (Amanda Seyfried) after he dives into the ocean to retrieve Savannah's purse that had fallen off the pier. John is smitten by Savannah and falls in love at first sight. Savannah is a college student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She is on spring break and is helping build a house for Habitat for Humanity. John joins in with Savannah to help build the house. Along the way a budding romance occurs, and Savannah falls deeply in love with John. As she is about to go back to college, she promises to write John overseas during the next 12-months until he returns to her after completing his enlistment. Their love is put to the test when John reenlists after the 9/11 attack. Douglas Young (the-movie-guy)The book review is below:-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Setting:Wilmington, NC and Lenior, NC. Begins in 2000 and ends with epilogue in 2006.Dear John is a three part book that starts out with 23 year-old John Tyree, an army enlistee.The Prologue starts of with the ultimate question, "What does it mean to truly love another?" John Tyree watches as he relives every memory, emotion, and touch while falling in love with Savannah Lynn Curtis.Part I John as a little kid struggled with finding the balance between himself and his father. While on leave from the Army, he meets Savannah. She goes to UNC Chapel Hill in North Carolina and is in Wilmington, NC to work for Habitat for Humanity. They become quick friends after John dives into deep ocean water in order to retrieve her fallen purse. At a bonfire, with wild college students, John meets Savannah's friend Tim Wheddon. John quickly learns of how inviting and mature Savannah and Tim really are. After the initial meet, John and Savannah meet again at the beach where he teaches her to surf. They then quickly more than just friends. At the end of John's leave, Savannah meets with him at the pier. She mentions that she thinks John's distant father has Asperger's. Asperger's is a developmental disorder which would explain why John's dad is distant, has the same exact schedule and conversation everyday, and is fairly only interested in his gigantic coin collection. After having this conversation, John quickly gets mad and accidentally hits Tim right in the nose, breaking it himself. Savannah and Tim forgive John for what he did. Before he departs, he promises Savannah he'll marry her when he completes his deployment.Part II, John comes home on leave and him and Savannah spend a very close night together while at one of the empty project houses for Habit for Humanity. Savannah writes him a letter, beginning with Dear John, that promises her love to him. John is very excited to come home to Savannah; however, due to 9/11, John feels the duty to reenlist in the Army. After years away from each other, Savannah writes John another letter. It starts with Dear John and ends with good-bye.
Part III John's father dies after suffering from several heart attacks. He sees Savannah one day and finds out that she married Tim and has been living with Tim and his brother Alan, who suffers from Autism. Tim, while in his death bed, asks John to make Savannah happy and marry her when he passes away. John, making the decision of his life, sells his father's coin collection in order for Tim to find treatment for his Melanoma. John decides to do this after realizing that if a man is selfless enough to let the love of his love go to another man, than he is worth living. Tim was on his death bed but still cared for Savannah's safety and happiness. The treatment for Tim works and he is released from the hospital. John does not regret ever loving Savannah.The Epilogue ends while John is watching Savannah. He sees her staring at the full moon, proving her unending love for John.
    

Dear John


            Chloe (Amanda Seyfried) is a young woman who is discussing her business as a call girl to the viewers. She explains that she must be capable of pleasing her clients with her words, as well as with her actions.Catherine (Julianne Moore), a middle-aged gynecologist living in Toronto, is working in her office. She glances out of her window at different times to see Chloe entering the hotel down the street from her office with her clients. Catherine's husband David (Liam Neeson), a college professor, lectures to a class in New York. At the end of the lecture, an attractive female student says that some of the class wants to take him to dinner. He politely declines, saying it is his birthday and he is supposed to return home. The whole class begins to sing 'Happy Birthday to You.'Catherine hosts a surprise birthday party for David, who has not yet arrived. Assuring the guests that David is just minutes away, she gets a call from him saying that he missed his flight and will not make it home in time for his birthday. While David is on the phone, one of his female students is shown to be at his side.The next morning, Catherine wakes up to find David at home. He apologizes to her, saying that he didn't know there was a party for him. Though it is an hour before David normally leaves for work, he tells Catherine he that must leave early so he can get coffee. Catherine finds her 17-year-old son Michael (Max Thieriot) with his girlfriend, who is walking around the house in her underwear. Disturbed, Catherine asks if they're using protection. Michael says that David knows about his girlfriend spending the night. The relationship between Catherine and Michael seems strained. Catherine suspects David of having an affair after she sees a picture of him and the female student hugging as part of a text message saying, "Thanks for last night" (the night of David's birthday when he said he missed his flight).That evening, David and Catherine go out to dinner with two friends. David flirts with the waitress, clearly upsetting Catherine. Catherine goes to the restroom and enters a stall. Overhearing a woman crying in the next stall, she asks her if everything is okay. The woman replies evasively, saying that there is no toilet paper. Catherine hands her some under the partition. The woman states that "men are such assholes." Catherine agrees, then exits her stall. The woman (Chloe) follows her.As they are washing their hands, Chloe offers Catherine her hairpin. Catherine kindly refuses, then says she must return to her husband. During dinner, Catherine notices Chloe, still upset, with another client at a table a short distance away.The next day after work, Catherine stops by the hotel bar where Chloe spends the majority of her time waiting for potential clients. Chloe, looking at Catherine passionately, tells her that she "doesn't usually meet with women." Catherine reassures Chloe, explaining that she suspects her husband of infidelity. She wants Chloe to go to David's coffee shop in the morning and meet with him in order to test his loyalty.The next morning, Chloe goes to the coffee shop and waits where David shows up as expected. Chloe hesitates, and then goes over to him to ask if she could borrow some sugar from his table for the container at hers is empty. David makes eye contact with Chloe and gives her the sugar dispenser.Later that afternoon, Catherine and Chloe meet. Chloe describes the meeting with David, saying he was friendly, but only mildly flirtatious and that nothing really happened. Curious, Catherine asks Chloe how she does what she does. Chloe speaks openly about herself, how she tries to see good in people, and that all sorts of folks walk into her life-- including Catherine herself. Catherine pays Chloe and asks she meet with David one more time to see what he does.That evening Catherine sees David speaking with someone via instant-message and chuckling lightly. Passing by Michael's room, she overhears him talking to his girlfriend on video-conference. She is trying to put some distance between them, supposedly because of upcoming graduation, but Michael thinks there are other reasons. Suddenly he sees his girlfriend staring over his shoulder. Turning, he angrily springs to his feet and closes the door in Catherine's face.Catherine goes back downstairs and tells David that Michael's girlfriend is leaving him. She suspects she's responsible because of her disapproval that the girl was sleeping over with Michael. David assures her that Michael will be okay. He shares a sip of the Scotch that Catherine bought for his birthday, with her and they start to reconnect, wondering when they stopped being the young lovers that always picked each other up at the airport and couldn't stand to be apart.The next morning, Catherine overhears Michael talking to David on his cell phone, comparing how he met his girlfriend, to how Catherine and David met-- a story Michael always liked to hear. Catherine smiles as she listens. Catherine's cell phone alerts her to a message from Chloe, asking Catherine to meet her at a restaurant.. Having been reassured about David, Catherine says she is feeling better about her relationship with him and doesn't need Chloe to see him anymore. But Chloe says she'd already met David again. Chloe starts to describe the encounter in more detail, disturbing Catherine. Chloe tells how she went with David to lunch, and then to a garden, where he kissed her passionately and she could feel him getting aroused. Catherine is deeply upset.As Catherine tries to maneuver out of a tight parking space, Chloe gets on her bicycle to pedal away. Her bike skids and tips over on a patch of snow, and Chloe skins her knee. Catherine takes Chloe back inside and opens her medical bag to bandage up Chloe's knee. As she starts to take a medical scissors to cut Chloe's pantyhose away from her knee, Chloe declines and slides them down, which disquiets Catherine.Later, Chloe is describing the meeting with David further, in more detail. She tells how she kissed David in a hidden niche in the gardens and gave him a hand job. Catherine awkwardly asks for reassurance that Chloe is 'clean' of any STD's, and Chloe promises to bring her medical documents showing this.Catherine drives home and showers. As she washes herself, her mind spins with images drawn from the stories Chloe told her about her meeting with David. As Catherine lies down to sleep, David is seen awake in the bed beside her; his face pinched with anxiety.Chloe goes to Catherine's office the next day to bring in her medical documents. She overhears Michael telling the receptionist that he needs to pick up his tuxedo for a recital. Chloe approaches Michael as he is photocopying musical sheets and talks to him about her favorite band.Chloe gives Catherine the papers and tells her that she is meeting David again as per Catherine's request, later that day. Michael gives Catherine a much cooler reception as he picks his tuxedo up, not even thanking her as he walks out.Lunching with friends, Catherine receives a text message from Chloe, asking her to meet her at a hotel. When Catherine arrives at the hotel room, the bathrobe-clad Chloe tells her that she had sex with David. She describes the encounter in explicit detail, but rather than causing Catherine more heartbreak, it arouses her. Chloe, feeling remorse, kisses Catherine, who abruptly leaves shocked by this sudden display of affection.That evening, Catherine goes the music recital where Michael is playing the piano on stage to an audience. She sits a distance away from David, which is not lost on either him or Michael. Driven somewhat crazy by the haunting music and by both David and Michael's responses at ignoring her, Catherine leaves before the recital is over.The upset Catherine meets Chloe at the hotel where Catherine asks her to describe more about her encounters with David. Chloe takes her up to a room and after sensually describing her moves, she has sex with Catherine. Afterwards, Catherine and Chloe share a taxi, with Catherine paying for Chloe's trip home. As Catherine gets out of the taxi, Chloe offers her her hairpin again. Chloe says that the hairpin was her mother's, and she now wants Catherine to have it as a symbol of her love for her. Catherine doesn't reply to Chloe or take the hairpin.Catherine enters her home to find David waiting for her. He asks her if she's been unfaithful. Catherine becomes infuriated and tells him she's been meaning to ask him the same question. David declines to respond.The next afternoon, Catherine arrives at her office after lunch to find several missed calls from Chloe and an e-mail with a picture of them in bed together at the hotel from that night. Alarmed, Catherine calls her. Chloe tells Catherine that she is waiting in her waiting room. Chloe suddenly enters Catherine's office seconds later with flowers, and asks her if she enjoyed the sex with her the night before. Embarrassed, Catherine admits that she did, but explains that their business is finished. Heartbroken, Chloe tells Catherine that she loves her. Catherine, disturbed, apologizes to Chloe for mis-communicating. She thanks Chloe for helping her, and pays her for the work she has done. Chloe leaves Catherine's office crying.Seeking revenge, Chloe goes to Michael's hockey practice. They flirt a bit with Chloe bringing up intimate pieces of information regarding his FaceBook profile, especially a picture of him and his mother. She then gives him a 'Raised By Swans' CD at which point he admits he has already downloaded all of their music.That night, Catherine and David go to a coffee house, where Catherine demands that David admit that he is having an affair. David admits that he did lie to her that night about missing his flight home because he hated to go to the birthday party, but he denies that he is having an affair. Chloe suddenly walks in, shocking Catherine. David looks around to see at whom Catherine is staring. He apparently does not know Chloe when, in a genuine baffled tone, he asks who the girl is, and why Catherine is so upset. At this point, Catherine realizes that Chloe made up her encounters with David to come between Catherine and David. Catherine also realizes that Chloe has apparently fallen in love with her because Catherine gave her attention.Catherine apologizes to David for not having trusted him, and admits that she worried about him because she was getting older and more insecure about her appearance. Then she confesses her sexual encounters with Chloe. David, shocked but understanding, embraces and kisses her.Jealous, Chloe goes to Catherine's home. Catherine arrives to find Chloe and Michael in Catherine's bed having sex. After sending Michael out of the room, the angry Chloe accuses Catherine of thinking that she could invite someone into her life, use them, then order them away when she's finished... just like all of her other male clients. Chloe tells Catherine that "money isn't enough to make her go away". Chloe wields her hairpin haphazardly, pricking her own hand and causing it to bleed, then pushing it up against Catherin's neck like a knife. Catherine apologizes fearfully and asks Chloe what she wants. She replies, "I want you to kiss me." Catherine kisses Chloe as Michael sneaks back into the room. Upon seeing Michael's reflection in the window, Catherine is surprised and pushes Chloe away. Chloe falls against a large window which breaks. The camera closes in on Catherine, then Chloe, as Catherine watches Chloe slowly letting go of the window frame and subsequently falling through the bedroom window to her death on the patio below.Several months later, at Michael's high school graduation party, Catherine obviously is still upset by Chloe's death. One of the guests comes up behind Catherine to talk; as Catherine turns, she is seen to be wearing Chloe's hairpin in her hair.
    

Chloe


            The film's plot is non-linear. This summary is presented in chronological order.In 1970 in Davie, Florida, Linda Boreman and her best friend Patsy go roller skating when they volunteer to dance on stage to the local band at the roller rink. Their dancing attracts the attention of Chuck Traynor, who develops a relationship with Linda. A few weeks, later Linda invites Traynor over for dinner at her parents house where he makes a charming impression on them. However, after Linda breaks a curfew one too many times, she moves out of her fiercely religious parents' house and marries Traynor. During a party, Linda watches one of Traynor's homemade porno films for the first time.Six months later, Linda bails Traynor out of jail after he is arrested for soliciting prostitution. Desperate for money, Traynor forces Linda into prostitution at gunpoint. Shortly afterwards, he has her audition at B&A Films in New York City, where she lands a career after Traynor shows producers Nat Laurendi and Anthony Romano an 8mm film of her doing fellatio.Linda travels back to Florida and begins work on the film Deep Throat, where she first uses her stage name Linda Lovelace. Upon release in 1972, Deep Throat becomes a hit among viewers and critics, raking in over $30,000 in the box office on its first week. During a private screening of the film in Los Angeles, Hugh Hefner convinces Linda that she has the potential to be more than a porn actress. Following the screening, Traynor once again forces Linda at gunpoint to participate in a gang bang at a hotel.The next day, she secretly meets up with Romano and tells him she wants out of the porno business, revealing the facial bruises inflicted by Traynor. Sympathetic to Linda, Romano has her checked in to a hotel while he and his bodyguards whip and beat up Traynor for abusing Linda and for the $25,000 he owes for the production costs.Six years later, following her divorce from Traynor, Linda marries Larry Marchiano and moves to Long Island and has a son with him. She takes a polygraph test prior to publishing her autobiography 'Ordeal', which details her years of Traynor physically and sexually abusing her, as well as controlling all of her earnings. Linda appears on Donahue to talk about her autobiography, with her distraught parents breaking down in tears while watching her on TV. A few days later, the Marcianos travel to Florida for Linda to reconcile with her parents.The film's ending captions reveal that while Deep Throat made over $600 million worldwide, Linda earned only $1,250. 'Ordeal' went on to sell out three printings, and for 20 years, Linda had spoken out against pornography and domestic violence. Traynor went on to marry Marilyn Chambers. Linda died at the age of 53 from injuries sustained in a car accident in 2002. Traynor died from a fatal heart attack three months later.
    

Lovelace


            Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries:Arizona, 1882. A voice-over narrator explains that this time in the American wild west was a dangerous and unsafe time where only the bravest survive. However, there were those that were considered by others to be "pussies". Enter Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane), a meek sheep farmer who runs into the town square of Old Stump. He is set to face off against another rancher, Charlie Blanche (Brett Rickaby), in a gunfight because Albert owes Charlie some money. Albert does whatever he can to weasel his way out of the gunfight, even making crude gestures with their shadows (he uses his fingers to simulate Charlie giving him a blowjob), and when he fails to make a move, Charlie shoots Albert in the leg. The townspeople walk away, and Albert's girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) looks on with disappointment.Albert and Louise have a picnic near a river where he laments the whole gunfight. Louise tells Albert that she wants to break up with him and has been thinking about it for some time. She tells him he's a nice guy but that she doesn't see the relationship going anywhere and that she needs to work on herself. She leaves him alone, despite him telling her he loves her.We move to a saloon/brothel where a churchgoing shoe repairman named Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) is eagerly awaiting his girlfriend Ruth (Sarah Silverman) with a flower. Ruth is a prostitute in the middle of having sex with a man. The brothel's manager Millie (Alex Borstein) asks Edward if he's okay with this fact, and he remains firm in his love for her. Ruth comes downstairs to go out with Edward, though Millie tells her that she has to come back because a frequent customer wants to do anal.That night, Albert joins Edward and Ruth at the saloon as he laments losing Louise. Ruth tells him that he's got a lot to live for, but Albert begins a rant on how living on the frontier sucks because literally everything out there can kill someone. Whether it's the hungry animals, drunk people, or even going to the bathroom, Albert fears for his life. He points out that the miners eating spicy ribs can die from their own farts (and that actually happens). Albert takes it a step further to point out that the mayor of the town has been lying dead outside for three days, and nobody has noticed. To drive his point home, two wolves come out and drag the mayor's body away to be eaten. Albert ends up getting drunk and riding his horse to Louise's home to win her back, but it doesn't work.The next day, outside town, an old man is riding in his carriage with his dog, Plugger, holding a piece of gold. Coming in fast are a group of outlaws led by the notorious Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson). He haggles the old man for his gold and tells him to pull out his gun so that he can take it from him fairly without robbing him. The old man does so and Clinch says they will shoot on 3. Clinch shoots on 2 and kills the old man, despite the protests of his wife, Anna Barnes (Charlize Theron). Clinch dismisses her and grabs the old man's map to Old Stump. The outlaws split up, and Anna beckons the old man's dog to follow her.Edward comes over to Albert's home as he wakes up in the afternoon to his grumpy father George (Christopher Hagen) and his abused, non-responsive mother Elsie (Jean Effron). Albert asks Edward why he isn't with Ruth having sex, but as it turns out, since both Edward and Ruth are Christians, they are waiting until marriage to have sex. Albert is confused, but he walks with Edward to see the ice being delivered from Boston. They then spot Louise out with her new man, a wealthy and moustachioed businessman named Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Albert is enraged when he sees them kissing, but then goes with Edward to see the giant block of ice being delivered. As he explains to Edward why the ice is so big, the rope holding the ice snaps and the block of ice crushes a man's head, to Albert and Edward's horror and disgust. At church, the pastor introduces Anna and her outlaw brother Lewis (Evan Jones).Albert goes into a store that can help him grow facial hair, but he is mocked by Foy at this attempt, then rubs it in his face that he is having sex with Louise.Later that night at the saloon, a cowboy (the pastor's son) bumps into Lewis, spilling his drink. Lewis demands that the cowboy get him a new drink. The cowboy pours Lewis a shot, but then puts his cigar out in it. Lewis responds by shooting the man, instigating a crazy bar brawl. The men violently and brutally attack each other, breaking arms and stabbing throats, while Albert and Edward pretend to fight so that nobody goes after them, giving the impression of really fast hands.Albert sees two men almost fall over on top of Anna, who was pouring herself a drink, but he jumps in and saves her. He takes her out of the saloon and walks with her. They sit by a cliff as she rolls him a cigarette. He bemoans to her the whole situation with Louise, though Anna thinks Albert is a nice guy and that Louise missed out. A diamondback snake then slithers past them, and they keep still to avoid getting bitten. Anna then convinces Albert to take her to the fair over the weekend to make Louise jealous.Anna visits Lewis in jail, telling him he's stupid for getting himself in there, and then boasts that she'll be happy the day that Clinch dies. Lewis warns her not to talk like that.On the day of the fair, Albert walks with Anna and points out that people can even die at the fair. This is proven correct when a photographer sets himself on fire and the couple he was taking a picture of, prompting two men to shoot them with rifles. Albert and Anna then see Louise and Foy. After exchanging banter, Albert challenges Foy to the shooting range in exchange for some money. They play a very racist shooting game called "Runaway Slave" (you can guess the objective), and Foy shoots six targets with six shots. Albert goes up and shoots nothing. Anna then steps in to make the challenge more interesting. She opts to go as fast as the game can go so Foy can give Albert a dollar. She tells the operator to go at the fastest speed, hitting each target, to everyone's surprise. Foy gives up his dollar, and the townspeople express their shock at actually seeing a whole dollar. Foy continues to mock Albert, so he challenges him to a gun duel the next day. Foy accepts, but Albert immediately regrets the decision.Anna decides to teach Albert how to shoot properly. She sets up some tin cans for him to shoot at, but he cannot hit a single target. He gets one shot after a bunch of tries, and continuously fails to shoot anything, even at close range. As time passes, he gets gradually better at hitting some targets. Anna rewards him with a pot cookie, which he is hesitant to take because he can't handle drugs, but he eats it anyway, and the two of them watch the sunset while they're both high.The sheriff goes to give Lewis his meal for the night, but he gets taken down in the cell, and Lewis kills him, leaving him with the opportunity to escape.The two of them go to a barn dance on the eve of the gunfight, with Anna sporting an outfit that is supposed to simulate a big ass. Again, they spot Foy and Louise together right before the sweethearts dance begins. Foy tells the band leader to play a song that boasts the joys of having a moustache, humiliating Albert since he can't grow one (or even afford to grow one). Anna offers to grab some whiskey for them, which she does by tricking the bartender into making him think his fly is open. Before leaving with Albert, Anna puts a laxative in a drink for Foy and tricks him into taking it. She then tells Louise that she's an idiot for letting Albert go, and then makes fun of her big eyes.Albert and Anna drink and bond, and then he gets one of the sheep to bring Anna a photograph of a man smiling, which is considered insane since nobody smiles when taking photographs, and one must be insane to smile in a place like the west. Albert goes in and kisses Anna, but he apologizes for it. He takes her back to her hotel, and she kisses him back. Unfortunately, Lewis has seen everything.As Albert rides home, he spots a glowing light coming from a barn. He opens the door to investigate and finds Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) (from the 'Back to the Future' series) working on the DeLorean. Doc hides it and tells Albert it's just a weather experiment. Albert leaves, and Doc exclaims, "Great Scott!"On the morning of the gunfight, Anna gets a knock on her door. Thinking it's Albert, she smiles and walks over, only to find it's Clinch.Albert stands in the town square awaiting Foy for the gunfight, who comes out staggering, still suffering from the constant bowel movements. He's not finished apparently, as he takes a man's hat to crap in it, and then a second hat to finish the job. When Foy gets ready, Albert drops his belt and gun to say he doesn't want to do this. He tells Louise he cares about her but she can have Foy, now that he personally feels he's moved on. He goes to Anna's hotel room and doesn't find her there, but most of her stuff is lying around. He goes to the bar with Edward and Ruth, thinking he's been abandoned once again, when Clinch shows up and announces that somebody was seen kissing his wife. He brings in Anna, and Albert puts two and two together. Clinch asks who is the man responsible for it. He asks a nearby cowboy (Ryan Reynolds in a silent cameo) and he shoots him.Clinch grabs Anna and takes her away, forcing her to reveal the identity of the man who kissed her, or he will shoot Plugger. She admits it was Albert. Clinch turns his back to take his clothes off and have sex with Anna, but she grabs a rock and whacks him over the head with it. She goes to hop on her horse to leave, but she sees Clinch with his pants down and sticks a daisy in his bare ass. She goes to reunite with Albert, but he's packing his stuff, feeling like another woman he's loved has disappointed him. Anna tries to tell him that she loved him, but he doesn't want to listen since she lied to him. She leaves, but warns Albert that Clinch always shoots on 2.Clinch goes by Albert's farm to look for him with Lewis and another goon. Albert hides among his sheep (where one of them pisses on him) before he manages to ride away on his horse. Clinch shoots at Albert and rides after him. Albert manages to ride over the train tracks before the train passes, and then hops on the train to escape. He takes the horse far away before a rock is thrown at his head, and he is knocked unconscious.Meanwhile, Edward and Ruth decide to consummate their relationship since Clinch's presence has them worried for their lives. Edward sees Ruth's vagina for the first time (his first vagina ever), making him nervous. They proceed to start having sex until Anna knocks at the door, asking to hide. Lewis barges in later, but doesn't find Anna. She climbs out the window of Edward's place and sees Clinch standing before her, holding the daisy she put in his ass.Albert wakes up to find himself tied to a pole. He sees that he is surrounded by the Indian Apache tribe. The Apache chief, Cochise (Wes Studi), orders someone to burn Albert because he is part of the other "white asshole" group, but Albert surprises them when he speaks their language, admitting that he studied a lot in his spare time. The Indians take him down, believing they can trust him simply because he speaks their language. They sit him around a campfire and give him a drink to help him achieve the courage to confront his problems. He is given a bowl to drink from, but he drinks the whole thing, which was supposed to be for the tribe. Albert then has a trippy dream sequence where he flashes back to his childhood where his father didn't care that he was born, and then tricked him into putting his tooth under his pillow as a child for the tooth fairy to come, only to find a pile of horse shit under the pillow. He recalls his graduation from school where Abraham Lincoln (Gilbert Gottfried) made a loud and crude speech. Then, Albert sees himself in a field with Anna chastising Louise for letting Albert go, along with the "big eyes" comment, showing Louise with larger bug eyes. Then a group of sheep that sound like Foy all gather and sing the moustache song. A door appears, with a sheep (voiced by Patrick Stewart) commands Albert to open the door when he's ready. The handle is a snake, which hisses at Albert, but he grabs it and opens it to see Anna in a wedding dress, waiting for him. He walks through the door to see nothing but a condor with Clinch's face swooping down at him. He shoots at it and then kicks it in the balls. He snaps out of the hallucination and realizes he's found the courage to do what he needs to do. Albert thanks the Indians and rides off.The next morning, Clinch holds Anna hostage in the town square, waiting for Albert. Albert shows up for the gunfight challenge, forcing Clinch to release Anna. They draw their guns, and, remembering what Anna said, Albert shoots Clinch in the side of the arm after 1. Clinch shoots the gun out of Albert's hand, then prepares to kill him. Albert buys himself time by asking him to spare Anna, even though she lied to him, and then he does a goofy "Islamic death chant" before he dies. Clinch then starts to feel weak and he collapses to the floor. Albert reveals that the Indians taught him to extract venom from the diamondback snake and lace the bullet with it. He knew he wasn't going to hit Clinch properly, so he managed to graze him. Thinking he's come up with a bold speech, Edward and Ruth spoil Albert's excitement by telling him that Clinch is already dead. With him out of the picture, Anna runs back into Albert's arms. Louise comes over, hoping to make up with Albert, but he blows her off to be with Anna. They walk away, with Anna telling him that there's a reward for the man that took Clinch down. Albert uses it to get a whole bunch of sheep, spreading through over a hundred yards. Anna stays with him, and they kiss among their sheep.Before the end credits roll, a new contender shows up for the Runaway Slave game and it is Django (Jamie Foxx in another cameo) He takes out his gun and instead shoots the game operator, saying "People die at the fair." After the credits, he asks for a white woman to join him.
    

A Million Ways to Die in the West


            Jill Conway is a young Portland woman who lives with her sister, recovering alcoholic Molly. One year prior, Jill was kidnapped by a serial killer who abandoned her in a hole in the forest, where she found human remains. When her abductor descended into the hole to kill her, Jill was able to stab him with a bone and climb his rope and return to civilization. However, the police didn't find the hole and discovered that Jill had been committed to a psychiatric institution for several years after her parents' death. Believing that the abduction only happened in Jill's head, they closed the case.One day, after returning home from work at a local diner, where she and her friend Sharon Ames are generously tipped by a regular customer about to move out of town, Jill finds Molly gone and is unable to reach her boyfriend, Billy. Knowing that Molly wouldn't leave the house with Jill absent and that she had an important test the following day, Jill becomes convinced that the man who took her has now captured Molly and heads to the police station to ask for help, but Sargent Powers and Detective Erica Lonsdale dismiss her claims and promise to look into the case after a few days, but Jill claims it will be too late then. Before she leaves, newcomer Detective Peter Hood pulls her aside and tells her he believes her, giving Jill his card in case she needs help.Billy calls Jill and tells her that he hasn't heard from Molly, and that she didn't show up at the exam. Jill interrogates her neighbors and finds out a van with a locksmith's name parked in front of her house in the middle of the night and honked several times. Using the neighbors' description of the van, Jill finds the company it belongs to and heads there, where she questions the van's driver - who is also the company owner's son - about Molly's whereabouts. He claims to not know anything about it, and Jill feigns leaving in order to break into the van, where she finds a receipt for a hardware store and duct tape. She holds the driver at gunpoint and forces him to reveal that he allowed a stranger named "Digger" to rent the van the night before. Jill then leaves.The locksmith's son reports this to the police, and Lieutenant Ray Bozeman orders Powers and Lonsdale to capture Jill, as she is a liability and has no permission to carry a gun. Hood tries to convince Jill to meet with him so he can help her, but she believes it to be a set-up so Powers and Lonsdale can arrest her and refuses. Meanwhile, Jill goes to the hardware store and learns from the owner that Digger's staying at a local rundown apartment named "The Royal Hotel". Jill heads there and learns from a neighbour his name is Jim Lapointe and breaks into his apartment, where she finds more duct tape, pet food (which she was given by her kidnapper), and matches from the diner where she works, the Lucky Star.Jill visits Sharon and learns that Lapointe is the generous tipper from the night before. Sharon gives Jill his phone number and she leaves. On the way out, she's located by the police and chased to an alley, where she manages to escape and return to Sharon's house, where Sharon begrudgingly agrees to let Jill borrow her car. Jill then calls Lapointe, who confirms he's her abductor and implies he knows where Molly is. He orders her to go into Forest Park to find out the truth. Jill ignores the pleas of Powers and Lonsdale, who find her through Billy, and ventures into the woods, where she eventually finds the hole.Lapointe emerges from a small alcove he dug nearby and throws Jill inside the hole, intending to kill her with a knife he carved out of the piece of bone Jill used to escape, but she draws her gun and shoots him in the chest.Jill climbs back up and forces Lapointe to reveal that Molly was under their house the whole time, and he only used her to lure Jill into a trap. She then pours kerosene down the hole soaking Lapointe and throws a lantern left for her into the hole and burns Lapointe alive before returning to the city, where she reunites with Molly and tells her Lapointe is dead. Jill then lies to the police and tells them it was all in her imagination. They leave, and shortly thereafter, Jill sends an anonymous tip of where to find the hole, as well as pictures of Lapointe's victims that she had found near the hole. Bozeman calls Powers and tells him to re-open the case
    

Gone

A Mouthful of Air


            Ellie returns to the home where she and her ex-husband Don raised three children, Lyla, Jared, and the adopted Alejandro. She lets herself in and is embarrassed when Don returns with his long-term girlfriend Bebe, upon whom he is about to perform cunnilingus on the kitchen counter when they notice Ellie. After this awkward introduction, they discuss the impending wedding of Alejandro to his fiancé Missy, which Don and Bebe are hosting at the house. Ellie, who had been best friends with Bebe until she got involved with Don, tells her she has no hard feelings about their ongoing relationship.Because Missy's parents are conservative Catholics, she and Alejandro are enrolled in pre-Cana counseling with Father Moinighan, who reminds Alejandro that his very Catholic birth mother would not approve of the fact that his adoptive parents are divorced. Alejandro soon asks Ellie and Don to pretend to stiill be married for the weekend, just to ease tensions with his mother, who is visiting from Colombia, which upsets Bebe so much that she leaves for the weekend.Meanwhile, Lyla is overcoming a separation from her callous husband as well as a longstanding resentment toward her father. She teases her brother Jared, because even though he is a doctor with plenty of attractive nurses around him, he remains a virgin. When she goes to visit him at his hospital, she faints at the sight of babies in the maternity ward, and feels rather sick for a while thereafter; we soon learn that her inability to conceive was a major tension in her marriage.Alejandro's mother Madonna (that is her name) arrives with his sister Nuria from Colombia. Ellie and Don introduce themselves as Alejandro's parents, even though she has just punched him square in the face for insulting her mother. Madonna is impressed with Don's work as a sculptor, and Jared is impressed with Nuria's beauty even though she is his adoptive brother's birth sister. She quickly goes skinny-dipping in front of him and hopes he will soon make love to her.Alejandro takes Madonna to see Father Moinighan, and she insists that Don and Ellie join her in doing confessions with him. Thereafter they join Missy and her parents for a very stressful dinner where Bebe suddenly shows up as their waitress, leading to even more lies as Don and Ellie try to maintain their ruse to Madonna. Nuria gives Jared a noticeable hand job under the table, whereupon Ellie privately tells her to act with more respect.While preparing for bed, Ellie and Don talk about their troubled marriage, and they are mildly flirtatious. The next morning they have incredibly loud sex for 40 minutes that the whole house can hear. In talking about this, Lyla tells Don that she is pregnant. Jared is meanwhile disappointed that Nuria has changed her mind and does not want to make love with him. And more potential conflict arrives when Bebe shows up to cater the wedding reception.Don, who had been sober for a few years, gets drunk and lets slip to Bebe that he had sex with Ellie, so she punches him square in the face. Bebe then deigns to forgive Ellie, but first reveals another secret: that Ellie slept with Missy's father years earlier when she was still married to Don. Just after that, Missy's mother drops the bomb that she is attracted to both Ellie and Bebe.In the midst of this massive faux pas de beaucoup, Missy and Alejandro abscond with Father Moinighan and quickly perform their marriage rites away from the arranged ceremony. The party nonetheless goes on, and the guests continue with their strange interludes. Jared is excited that Nuria has once again changed her mind and she deflowers him straightaway. Ellie and Bebe make up. Lyla slaps Don square in the face when she realizes he has invited her husband to the wedding, to whom she confesses she is pregnant.After all this, Don proclaims his love for Bebe to the assembled crowd, and proposes to her with a ring he'd been holding for years. Father Moinighan then immediately marries them. Madonna realizes she has been deceived this whole time, prompting her to tell Alejandro that he is not the only one who has lied to protect his family, because she had him as the result of an illicit teenage affair.A long while later, Don imagines telling Lyla's baby daughter that all of her grandmothers, however defined, are crazy.
    

The Big Wedding

Seven Veils


            Opening scene (depending on the DVD's theatrical or extended versions), shows Needy, a violent inmate, in a correctional facility. She is notorious for being a 'kicker', and is now reflecting during lockdown on past events.In the small town of Devil's Kettle, Minnesota, the story focuses on two girls who are life-long best friends. One of them is our Anita "Needy" Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried), a blond-haired, nerdy, substantially unpopular, "plain Jane" student. The other focus is on Jennifer Check (Megan Fox), a beautiful black-haired girl who is a cheerleader on the school's flag team. Jennifer's pet name for Needy is Monistat, and Vagisil is, in turn, Needy's nickname for Jennifer. An obnoxious kid chides Needy for being 'lesbi-gay' but she just points out "sandbox love is forever."One evening, Jennifer has Needy accompany her to Melody Lane, a local bar, where an indie rock band named Low Shoulder is playing. It seems odd, so unlikely that they would bother to perform at such an insignificant venue, but frontman Nikolai Wolf (Adam Brody) explains that it is a service to their fans. Needy overhears him referring to Jennifer, who is fetching them drinks (getting past the age restriction barrier by playing Hello Titty with the bartender off-camera), as the State Fair Butter Queen, the perennial small-town virgin who loves 'showing it off' but remains a teaser. Obviously, he has unresolved issues with girls. During the performance, the bar catches on fire, but Nikolai gazes on with a smirk, and Needy leads a shocked Jennifer to safety through the toilet window, just barely escaping from being killed in the blaze. Outside, they are accosted by the band who of course made it out okay. However, Needy stands by forlornly as the band members lead a dazed Jennifer to their van, before driving off, with Needy watching as the remains of the bar collapses to the ground in a fiery inferno.Needy eventually makes it home where she finds a note from her divorced mother who is working swing shift this evening as well. Needy calls her boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons), and explains about the disaster, and has misgivings about Jennifer's fate, fearing the worst. Those guys could be rapists, and that one guy looked especially evil, almost skull-faced, reminding her of a grim-looking petrified tree she saw as a child. Realizing her worst fears, she unexpectedly bumps into Jennifer in her home: clothing torn, bruised and bleeding, looking like a feral zombie-thing just risen from the grave. Things get even stranger, as Needy watches Jennifer tear wolfishly into a raw chicken in her fridge and give an unworldly roar at her, before spewing up a black sickly-looking tarry substance all over the floor. Jennifer further terrorizes Needy when she throws her against a wall asking her if she is scared of her. Jennifer then runs out the front door leaving a bewildered and frightened Needy behind.The next day, the tragedy of the bar fire has captured the town, and Needy morosely remembers her childhood friend, who then suddenly just reappears looking every inch the hot teen fox again, and impervious to the sorrows of classmates feeling the tragedy, traipses through the somber halls looking like a junior supermodel on a dreamy Valentine date. Flippantly referring to the burn victims as 'a white trash pig roast', her whole manner is "like, get over it!" Jennifer even leads the grieving high school football captain into the nearby woods after school, ostensibly to fulfill his deceased friend's suggestion that they'd have made a 'banging' couple. As a menagerie of forest animals gather to watch, she seduces the big guy, literally leading him like a lamb to the slaughter before she bears down on him with that sexy mouth having turned into a demonic gaping maw. Later on in the day, a highly-concerned teacher at the school finds the captain's grisly remains, and the town is rocked by the additional tragedy. Low Shoulder's song 'Through the Trees' becomes the anthem of hope amidst all the gloom and despair, and obviously, they have chart success, donating 3% to the cause of the victims. Needy questions the paltry effort, and how come they are credited with having rescued survivors while she herself knows that is untrue?A month passes by, Jennifer begins to look a little pale and gaunt, enigmatically explaining that "it is wearing off", she needs sustenance. As Needy watches, Jennifer catches the eye of the school nerd Colin Gray (Kyle Gallner), and asks him to meet her at her house. She sarcastically says that she's got the DVD of Aquamarine (2006) and that the lead character 'is half-sushi' and that 'she has, like, sex through her blowhole or something', and comments to Needy that the guy is into maggot rock and wears nail polish, so her dick is bigger than his.The next evening, Needy spends time with her boyfriend Chip, while Colin goes to meet Jennifer... only to find her at a still-in-construction house in a deserted neighborhood where she is in an upstairs room which is lit by various candles. It is here that Jennifer suddenly transforms into a snake-eyed humanoid creature which kills Colin and sups on his flesh, as Needy has a shocking vision that causes her to panic as Chip makes love to her.Needy leaves her boyfriend's place, and drives away, only to encounter Jennifer walking like an animal across the road, before jumping onto her car's windshield. Needy returns home, only to find Jennifer sleeping in her bed, and, true to the spirit of this black comedy, wearing her Evil Dead T-shirt. Jennifer then kisses Needy, which turns into a hot make-out session, which causes Needy to verbally snap over what is going on. Needy orders Jennifer to leave, but Jennifer instead confesses what happened to her on the night the local bar burned down....In a flashback sequence, the band Low Shoulder drove Jennifer out into a forested area, gleefully intending to offer her as a Satanic sacrifice, in exchange for chart success. During the band's discussions, several wondered if Jennifer really was a virgin, and she pretended to be as pure as the morning rain, hoping that they would let her go. Using some instructions they downloaded off the internet, they spoke an incantation to the Devil, before stabbing her with a Bowie knife, which was then thrown into the notorious whirlpool off the nearby Devil's Kettle Falls.Back in the present, Jennifer further explains to Needy that she found herself still alive (which Needy doubts), and then wandered away from the site after they had left, and that's when Jennifer stumbled back to Needy's place that night. Jennifer also confides to Needy, that when she is fully replenished with human flesh, she is indestructible. She demonstrates this by stabbing herself in the arm with a pocket knife, and Needy watches as the flesh immediately heals. Jennifer also tells Needy that on that same night after she left Needy's house, she came across the Indian exchange student that had survived the fire, walking along the road, and waylaid him, killing and devouring him and then hid the body in the woods. Needy threatens to call the police, but Jennifer tells Needy that she will just deny everything that she just told her and on top of that, no one will ever believe such a story no matter how Needy tells it. With that, Jennifer jumps out of Needy's second floor window and lands 12 feet down on the ground, completely uninjured, and runs off into the night.Now more worried than ever, Needy goes to the occult section of their school's library, and begins to do research. Needy soon finds where the band went wrong. Because Jennifer was by no means a virgin, their sacrifice backfired, though it indeed brought them prosperity. But it has also turned her into a succubus, a female demon with a constant need to feed on young men to keep in tip-top condition. Needy grows upset because of the upcoming Spring Formal, and how it seems that Jennifer could very well turn the dance into a bloodbath. She informs her boyfriend Chip about this, but he thinks she should get psychiatric help.Eventually, the Spring Formal comes about, and Needy goes there to meet Chip. Also in attendance is the band Low Shoulder, who have gained a big-time sold-out national tour since that fateful night several months prior. As they take the stage, and Needy does not see Chip anywhere, she bolts from the auditorium. Also, during this time, we see Jennifer ambush Chip in the woods, telling him that Needy was having sex with Colin, and that was why she was so upset with his death. Jennifer wants to hear that Chip prefers her, but his heart belongs to Needy, and she tries to win him over, and she kisses him ardently. They walk towards an abandoned mansion with a graffiti-filled indoor swimming pool, where she flips out into a rage when rejected, throwing Chip into the gunky water.Needy, in her formal pink ball-gown, goes into a headlong barefoot run, desperate to be there before it is too late. She finds Chip in the water, where the demonic Jennifer, in full-blown animalistic mode, has already bitten into him. He is weakened by extensive blood loss. Needy dives into the water to help Chip crawl out while Jennifer closes in for the kill, and Needy sprays her with a can of mace, which makes Jennifer vomit more black fluid at them. As Needy and Chip crawl out of the dirty swimming pool, Jennifer actually levitates herself out of the pool and confronts them. Jennifer and Needy argue, Jennifer threatens to kill her (she doesn't just kill only boys, she "goes both ways!") and Chip, with his last energy, stabs Jennifer through the stomach with a pool net's handle, impaling her, before she escapes through a nearby window. Needy watches helplessly as her beloved Chip, professing his love, "I think I already died before you got here, but I woke up when I heard your voice", dies in her arms. (The DVD's deleted scenes show how our heroine then went, tattered dress, frog slime-filled hair and all, to confront the band who rushed off the stage upon seeing this vision of vengeance, and she collapsed with sheer exhaustion.) Waking up on her bed looking like a wilted flower, she slowly gathers her wits, and then went for her Dad's toolbox and found a box cutter.Later that evening, Needy, hell-bent on revenge, breaks into Jennifer's room, where she and her former best friend scuffle. Jennifer levitates and their fight goes midair. Needy yanks the "Best Friends Forever" locket from her former friend's neck, and, crashing down onto her, stabs Jennifer through the heart with the box cutter, killing her. However, the noise is heard by Jennifer's mother (Carrie Genzel), who finds Needy crouched over her daughter with the bloody knife. Murder!Following this, Needy is taken to a mental institution. However, the showdown with Jennifer resulted in her getting scratched and bitten. Supposedly, being bitten by Jennifer also caused some of her demonic powers to be transferred to Needy... as well as her evil personality and attitude. Needy becomes vicious, ill-tempered, and anti-social with the orderlies and other residents. Isolated and abandoned by everyone she knows (nobody from her school, not even her own parents, have come to visit Needy at the hospital), she sets a plot in motion to escape.After a fight with an institution doctor, Needy is isolated in a cell, but that night she manages to use her new demonic powers to levitate herself to an overhead window, where she kicks it out with her near-superhuman strength, before breaking through a nearby chain-link fence and escaping into the night.As she wanders down a rural road, she finds a watery runoff (which is where the nearby Devil Falls empties out into), along with the knife that was used on Jennifer. Needy picks up the knife. Flagging down a passing vehicle, she tells the driver, an old guy intent on scoring with her (ass, gas, or grass, yet another deleted scene), that she's following a band, and the old rat exclaims that it must be one hell of a band, to which she then firmly, coldly, grimly adds that their last performance will be tonight.Wouldn't want to be in their shoes!As the end credits roll, we are treated to amateur video of the band Low Shoulder checking into a fancy hotel after a concert, and candidly doing things in their hotel room (drinking, smoking dope, snorting cocaine, among other debauchery). Eventually, the scene is shown, in cutaways, of the band being savagely murdered by a blurred figure which enters through the front door. We then see police crime scene photos of the dead band members strewn around the hotel room, with the sacrificial knife in the chest of frontman Nikolai Wolf. Just desserts.The final image of the movie shows security camera footage of a pale and evil-looking Needy walking down the hotel corridor, away from the band's room after killing all of them as revenge for what they did to Jennifer. Needy walks past a number of excitedly scurrying female band groupies as she walks out of the hotel.
    

Jennifer's Body


            Set during a cold winter in a snow-covered forest during an undeterminate year of the Medivel times, Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is a young woman living in the small village of Daggerhorn. She is in love with the woodcutter Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), but her parents Cesaire (Billy Burke) and Suzette (Virginia Madsen) have promised wealthy blacksmith Adrian Lazar (Michael Shanks) that Valerie will marry his son Henry (Max Irons) hoping Valerie will marry into wealth so she and they can live off Lazar's money.Valerie plans to run away with Peter, but their plans are put on hold when the town sirens erupt, telling the couple that the werewolf who terrorizes their village has struck again. On closer inspection of the victim (found among a field of haystacks), it is found to be Lucy, Valerie's older sister. The townspeople offer a monthly sacrifice to the beast and stay away from the woods but Lucy ventured there after discovering that Valerie had been promised in engagement to Henry, whom Lucy loved.Adrian, Henry, Peter, Cesaire, and the other men venture out into the woods to a mountain cave hunt the Wolf. Against Henry's protest, the group splits into two groups and Henry and his father are attacked. The others manage to behead the wolf, but it kills Adrian in the process. The men bring back the head of a common gray wolf, thinking it is the one that has been terrorizing the village.Valerie sees Suzette crying over Adrian's body and confronts her. Suzette admits that she and Adrian once had an affair and that Lucy is actually his daughter as well as Henry's half-sister. This is the reason why she could not be offered to him. Valerie also learns that Cesaire is seemingly unaware of this.The townspeople decide to celebrate the death of the wolf, but their preparations are interrupted by the arrival of famous witch hunter Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), who reveals that the townspeople did not slaughter the real Wolf because it would have changed back into its human form if they did. Solomon knows this because he killed a Wolf and cut off its paw, which changed into the hand of his wife. Solomon also informs them that during a "blood moon" (when the red planet aligns with the moon), anyone who is bitten by the Wolf will become one.Still, the townspeople decide to celebrate. But the festivities are interrupted by the arrival of the real Wolf, who in a rampage kills several people. Valerie and her friend Roxanne (Shauna Kain) are cornered by the Wolf while attempting to get to the safety of the church's hallowed ground. The Wolf then begins growling at Valerie and Roxanne; much to her surprise, Valerie is able to understand the Wolf, and gazing into its deep brown human eyes, is able to communicate with it, as her friend looks on in terror. The Wolf says that they are the same, both killers, and tells Valerie they should run away from the village together.When the two arrive back at the village it is shown that one of Father Solomon's guard is still alive, though he has been bitten by the Wolf. Father Solomon kills the guard in an attempt to save the town from yet another werewolf.Peter comes to Valerie at night and says that they must run away immediately, but she refuses. Valerie's mother has been scratched by the Wolf and is being tended over by her grandmother (Julie Christie). Valerie tells her grandmother that the Wolf spoke to her and chose not to kill her.The following day, Henry tells Valerie that he saw her together with Peter. He is going to break off their engagement because he does not want to force her to marry him.Father Solomon arrests Roxanne's autistic brother, believing him to be an accomplice of the Wolf because of his behaviour during and after the attack. Father Solomon has him tortured for refusing to name the beast. Roxanne attempts to negotiate for her brother's release by offering money and sex. When that fails, she tells the priest that Valerie can communicate with the Wolf. When confronted, Valerie admits that the Wolf spoke to her. When Valerie can not tell them who the Wolf is, Solomon arrests her to use her as bait to lure the Wolf from hiding. Peter and Henry agree to work together to track down the Wolf and save Valerie.When Roxanne is brought to her brother, she finds him already dead.Valerie's grandmother brings Valerie bread and a knife in prison. Valerie tells her that when Lucy found out about her engagement to Henry, she gave herself to the Wolf but her grandmother denies this.Valerie's grandmother brings Henry some biscuits to thank him for speaking up in Valerie's defence. Then she accuses Henry of being Wolf, and says that Lucy followed him into the woods where he killed her. Henry then recognizes her smell from the night that his father was killed by the Wolf and accused her of being the Wolf.Cesaire is imprisoned to prevent him from interfering with the plan to lure the Wolf to Valerie. A mask is put on Valerie as she is marched through the village and tied up wearing the red cloak given to her by her grandmother. Peter and Henry launch their rescue. While Henry frees Valerie's arms from some chains, Peter sets afire the tower from which Father Solomon is overseeing the action. Peter is caught and imprisoned in the torture device which killed Roxanne's brother. Father Solomon's men chase the fleeing Valerie and Henry and Henry is shot with a crossbow. The Wolf appears and attacks Solomon and his men. He bites off Father Solomon's hand. Valerie agrees to go away with the Wolf if he promises to leave the village alone, but the townsfolk refuse to let her sacrifice herself. Roxanne and the other women shield Valerie from the Wolf until the sun rises and he must run away. As it is the blood moon, Father Solomon is wolfbitten and cursed, and he is executed by his vengeful chief guard (who is the brother of the guard who was bitten and killed by Solomon).Meanwhile, Valerie has a dream that her grandmother who lives in a cabin in the woods near the village and also has very brown eyes, is the Wolf. Valerie sets off for her grandmother's house, stopping at the chapel on her way out of the village, and putting Father Solomon's severed hand in her basket. Henry tells her that he is going after the wolf while its tracks are still fresh and informs her that Peter is missing. In the woods, Valerie meets Peter, who is wearing a glove. He says he escaped from the torture device, but believing him to be the Wolf attempting to hide his burned paw, Valerie slashes him with a knife. She flees to her grandmother's house.When Valerie arrives, it seems as though her grandmother is acting strangely, hiding in her curtained bedchamber while she talks to her granddaughter. It is then revealed that the Wolf was neither Peter nor Valerie's grandmother, but her father Cesaire: he pulls back the curtains and strides into the main room. He has killed his mother because Henry's telling her that she smelled like the Wolf made her realize that the smell came from her late husband's clothing, which she's kept in a trunk all these years, meaning he was a Wolf who passed the gift to his son (Cesaire). Cesaire explains to Valerie that he wanted to leave the village and go to the city. He wanted to bring someone to whom he can pass on his gift. He originally intended for it to be Lucy, however once she saw him, she remained frightened; revealing that she could not understand him. Any offspring of a Wolf would have been able to understand its language. Therefore Cesaire realized that his wife had an affair and Lucy was not his daughter. Acting out of rage, Cesaire killed Lucy. He then wounded Suzette and, knowing that Adrian must have been Suzette's lover, he killed Adrian. Cesaire now wants Valerie to come with him and carry on the Wolf lineage. As the son of a Wolf, Cesaire is more powerful than his father, and if Valerie accepts the gift, she will be more powerful still.As Cesaire is about to bite Valerie, Peter arrives to save her. Cesaire bites Peter in the ensuing struggle, but is killed by Valerie who stabs him with the nails of Solomon's hand which are made of silver. Knowing that Valerie will be hanged by the townspeople if they learn her father was the Wolf, she and Peter dispose of Cesaire's body by filling him with rocks and dumping him into a nearby lake. Peter, fully aware that he is cursed, retreats to the wilderness in order to learn how to control his power. Valerie tells him she will wait for him.Valerie chooses to remain living in her grandmother's house. In a voiceover, she explains that Suzette came to accept that her husband had disappeared and would not return, and the townsfolk continued to live in fear even though the Wolf never returned, while Henry found his courage and became a monster hunter. A couple of years later, as Valerie picks some plants, she hears a sound. Looking up, she sees the Wolf, Peter now. She smiles as they reunite. The final shots are of Valerie in the red cloak walking on a snow-capped mountain with Peter.
    

Amanda Seyfried

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